New nurse feeling discouraged

NurseSpeedy, ADN, LPN, RN · Apr 12, 2016

You are definitely not alone. The first six months to a year are the hardest from what I experienced and a lot of my peers. The nurses that you are working with did not get where they are overnight. It takes time to develop a routine that works for you and you are still learning a lot that you can only learn once you've gotten out of school, passed the NCLEX, and started working as a nurse.

As a side note a little bit of fear is a good thing. It keeps us cautious. Nothing is scarier than a new nurse that thinks that they know it all and are overconfident. This is where key things are missed and an issue that could have been handled earlier to prevent patient deterioration can end terribly.

Don't beat yourself up. You'll catch up in time.

barcode120x, RN, NP · Apr 13, 2016

You are not a lone Coolbeanz! I am a fellow new grad as well working on a telemetry unit and I've been on my own for about 4 months now. I know exactly how you feel and still feel some of it to this very day. I had tons and tons of anxiety before work, during work, and after work for every shift, but that's part of being a new grad. It's natural to feel this way because we are all new to this field or at least this particular job.

BUT, let me tell you this, it gets easier as the shifts pass by! I speak from first recent first hand experience. After a month of being alone, I'm pretty sure you'll start to have less anxiety and more confidence. Me now, when I look back, I am feeling a lot better than when I first started. Things happen on shift, good or bad, but your coworkers and team is there to help you. I made a topic here back in January regarding some very bad anxiety I was having. Before every shift, I would TRY to take a nap, but would wake up with severe anxiety, tachycardic, sweaty, and my mind racing and thinking about "what if's" for work. I would also leave work and sit in my car for 15 minutes figuring out if I forgot anything. But yes, anxiety, overwhelmingness, fear, worriedness, etc does start to pass as the shifts go by. To this day, I sleep pretty comfortably before work. I still get a little anxious here and there but nowhere near as bad when I first started. I'm definitely more confident at work and when you need help, always ask!

Make sure you have things to help you cope with the stress and anxiety. Things to mention that really helped me get through was praying/reading my bible. It really helped me calm down before work and was my form of "meditation" if you wish to call it that. Working out 3-4 times a week helped me burn my stress related to work and not only that, I eat pretty crappy at work so working out helps me build up energy, de-stress, and stay healthier. I have awesome coworkers and amazing charge nurses and they are always there willing to help out and answer any question, no matter how dumb it may have been. I think the BEST coping strategy that helped me get through the past months was venting to fellow new grad coworkers. We would talk outside after work or grab some dinner together and just vent. We all knew what we were/are going through and are able to comfort each other because we all have been there and done that. You will also find comfort on these forums too :)

Coolbeanz · Apr 13, 2016

Appreciate the time you took to Answer me. I definitely need to read my bible and trust my faith. I sometimes feel like my mind is all over the place. :) you give me hope.

Coolbeanz · Apr 13, 2016

Thanks for your reply. I really needed to read this. :) I am a true believer that time heals. I need to allow myself time. I just feel the job is so demanding there is no room for errors or learning properly.

kp038 · Apr 13, 2016

You are not alone and I applaud you for hanging in there... I could not. I landed my dream job 3 months after NCLEX, but hated it from day 2 (I knew day 1 would be rough so no surprise there). The hospital offered 6 weeks orientation (which is ridiculous) - management had no problem letting me do 9 though. The floor was crazy - short-staffed, the aides took offense at being expected to do their jobs, 5-6 patients, high acuity (we got everything except vent patients), nonstop admissions and discharges... the other nurses were mostly VERY kind and willing to help, except that when you were running around like crazy so was everyone else, so no one had the time. I spoke to my manager multiple times about how I felt, nothing ever changed. My anxiety spiraled out of control... losing sleep, dreading work multiple days in advance of the shift. I'm left feeling like an epic failure, quitting 6 months in as a new grad -- i have NO idea what I'm going to do now -- but as others have said on other threads - no one will take care of you but you. Don't kill yourself over it. If you can hang in there - excellent!! People told me "it gets better" a million times (but that's hard to believe when some of the most experienced nurses also leave 1-2 hours late from a 12 hour shift). However, my health is more important to me than trying to keep dealing with the insanity until maybe one day I wouldn't feel like dying before, during, and after every shift. I am convinced there is an area of nursing out there that is right for me, I just hope I can find it...

Coolbeanz · Apr 13, 2016

You really know how i feel. Part of the reason i have not left yet is because #1 i signed a contract #2 i cannot let my family down and put all the burden on my husband and #3 where am i going to go next? I worked at a Skilled Nursing Facility for a month prior to this and it was an absolute disaster. 28 patients, admissions, discharges, running after CNA's fighting with them, risking my license. I will most likely will not stay there for the years stipulated on the contract but i think some experience maybe and after 6months-1year then find another area. I regret not doing my homework about the amount of work people get in this hospital and why people leave. I was excited as a new grad landing at a popular hospital. I guess thats how they get us! Thanks for sharing your story. Like you, i do believe peace of mind is important.

kp038 · Apr 14, 2016

Ah yes, the almighty contract... it's so funny, both my cousin and best friend ended up getting jobs with contracts (2 years and 1 year respectively) and straight out of school my first thought was "oh that's awesome, you're guaranteed a job for 1-2 years"... Ha! Now I know the real reason those contracts are in place. Anyway, I really wish I'd done my homework too. It was a small miracle I'd even been called from this hospital (large reputable teaching level II trauma center). This is my 2nd career, and at the moment, I'm having some serious trouble remembering why I found the first so bad.

Coolbeanz · Apr 14, 2016

People tell me i should be glad i landed a job at a hospital. Reality is i dont even know if this is really what i wanna do. I see a lot of my coworkers are miserable. My hospital is a reputable "teaching" hospital as well. I am at a busy oncology floor where not surprising people last no more than a year or so. The ones that had been there for years live very close or simply get easy assignments because of their seniority. I really wonder about my future, this is my 2nd career as well. Thanks for your input

TAKOO01, BSN · Apr 14, 2016

You are not alone and I applaud you for hanging in there... I could not. I landed my dream job 3 months after NCLEX, but hated it from day 2

Hi, new grad here -

Would you mind sharing what unit the dream job was on and do you feel that you might be able to work that same unit but at a different hospital?

Although i have not landed a job yet, your story resonates with me and I feel empathy for you. i truly believe you will find your place and be happy in your career.

letlove · Apr 15, 2016

I'm going through the same situation, except for I'm working long term facility. Unfortunately I only trained for about a week before i was on my own, because they had a few nurses go on sick leave. I am constantly thinking about the previous shift on my day off (like right now). I'm glad to read all the support on here from experienced nurses, and to know that eventually WE will get the hang of things. I had a discussion with my DSD and nursing supervisor who assured me that they went through the same feelings when they first graduated. I'm relieved but still at the same time want to just be proficient. They reminded me of all the reasons I chose to be a nurse in the first place. So I'm hanging in there hoping for the best shift but expecting anything and everything. good luck to the both of us!

kp038 · Apr 15, 2016

Hi, new grad here -
Would you mind sharing what unit the dream job was on and do you feel that you might be able to work that same unit but at a different hospital?
Although i have not landed a job yet, your story resonates with me and I feel empathy for you. i truly believe you will find your place and be happy in your career.

I'd rather not share too many details, only because I don't know who reads these and am now on the job hunt again.... but in response to your other question, it wasn't really anything to do with the hospital. In fact, I loved the hospital and am pretty crushed to be leaving. Part of the problem was that it was pretty far from where I live. Working 14 (crazy busy) hours and then adding another hour drive (round trip) onto it was too much. I probably could have stuck it out at least a little easier if not for the drive, or I would've at least looked to move to a different unit at the same hospital. At this point I'm ready to just put it behind me and explore my options outside of the hospital setting anyway. My advice to you for your first job, especially if it ends up being in a hospital working 12 (really 13-14) hour shifts, try to stick as close to home as possible... unless you're willing and able to move.