New Nurse Dealing With Depression?

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So I just accepted a job offer. Nice pay, nice hospital, step-down ICU, staff seems super friendly and helpful based on my tour and shadow shift. Great stuff, right?

Except....I'm not happy. I feel no excitement about starting my new career. It's not the job making me unhappy, obviously, I don't start till the 26th.

I've suffered with depression since adolescence. I frequently cry for no reason. I just really don't wanna come off as a crazy person in front of a patient or coworker if I have a manic-depressive episode (my worst fear) but at this point I feel myself spiraling downward.

TL;DR: New nurse, afraid depression will effect quality of work, downward spiraling, anyone ever have a similar experience?

Sorry if this is too personal

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

Seeking professional assistance would be beneficial to your situation, c.dom. Many are dealing with their emotions through both psychosocial and medication therapy and are leading full, productive lives.

The very best to you, c.dom.

Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).

Like Davey Said,

Starting out on a new job is stressful. Still many people with mental health issues lead happy, productive, normal lives.. Now is a good time to reach out to your treatment team for a tune up prior to starting this new job.

Peace

Hppy

Seeking professional assistance would be beneficial to your situation, c.dom. Many are dealing with their emotions through both psychosocial and medication therapy and are leading full, productive lives.

The very best to you, c.dom.

I am thinking about going back into therapy. Only problem is my insurance doesnt cover mental health, yay

Like Davey Said,

Starting out on a new job is stressful. Still many people with mental health issues lead happy, productive, normal lives.. Now is a good time to reach out to your treatment team for a tune up prior to starting this new job.

Peace

Hppy

Thank you. I'm hoping it is just stress since I'm in a transition period of my life

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
I am thinking about going back into therapy. Only problem is my insurance doesnt cover mental health

There are numerous other types of therapy which can be beneficial which don't necessarily require a trained therapist, c.dom.

There are multitude of self help books available out there, and with the advent of the internet, online help.

I have personally utilized the benefits of a 12 step program through Emotions Anonymous and highly recommend its philosophy and methods.

Here's a link to a thread I started after recently getting back into working a program that will give you an idea of how it works:

https://allnurses.com/nurses-recovery/an-eclectic-recovery-1101350.html

Again, good luck to you, c.dom!

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

I couldn't help noticing that you referred to "manic-depressive" episodes. Do you have bipolar disorder? If you do, you're probably aware that the condition can make things quite complicated, although it's certainly possible to have a good life with it. I'm BP and I enjoyed 15 years of a great career before my illness overtook me in 2012. Even if it's solely depression you're dealing with, you may want to consult a mental health professional (if you haven't already) and see what sort of medication and/or therapy they recommend. You want to be as stable as possible as you begin your new job; you'll be better able to learn and grow in your role as a nurse, and you won't have to worry about flipping out on a patient or co-worker.

Please take care of yourself. I wish you the best of luck in your new career.

I'd get some sort of professional help if possible now. I was excited and nervous about starting my RN job, but at least I felt something. I have a history of depression and the first five months as a new nurse were very rough and I slipped into a pretty dark place. I'd get on top of it now!

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Moved to health and stress management

Specializes in LTC and Pediatrics.

As one who suffers from depression and anxiety, I agree with previous posters to seek help.

Having depression. BP or any other mental health issue doesn't make one "crazy" - it's an illness, a disease process and one that can reach a point where medical help is needed and necessary..be it therapy or medication or both. If your insurance doesn't cover therapy would it cover you seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist instead? Some won't cover LCSW's but will cover other disciplines. If not, can you go to your PCP and speak to him/her about things? Maybe get some help then once working you can access EAP or similar. But like the others have said, please, get assistance.

I couldn't help noticing that you referred to "manic-depressive" episodes. Do you have bipolar disorder? If you do, you're probably aware that the condition can make things quite complicated, although it's certainly possible to have a good life with it. I'm BP and I enjoyed 15 years of a great career before my illness overtook me in 2012. Even if it's solely depression you're dealing with, you may want to consult a mental health professional (if you haven't already) and see what sort of medication and/or therapy they recommend. You want to be as stable as possible as you begin your new job; you'll be better able to learn and grow in your role as a nurse, and you won't have to worry about flipping out on a patient or co-worker.

Please take care of yourself. I wish you the best of luck in your new career.

Yes, I am diagnosed type 2 bipolar disorder. It's mostly managed except for the depression lately. I'm afraid of a breakdown because it usually ends with ppl thinking I'm crazy. I quit my old job at Walmart because of an incident.

Funny thing, when I was getting my physical done the employee health nurse took one look at my list of current meds and flat out asked if I was bipolar without looking at my history.

Is it okay if I PM you? I've never talked to another BP nurse

Again, thank you everyone! :)

P.S. I passed NCLEX

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Sure, you can PM me anytime; you just have to have made 15 posts before you can PM. :-) And congratulations on passing NCLEX!

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