New Grad RN, and I don't like it!

elkpark · Sep 3, 2008

The transition from nursing student to practicing professional is notoriously difficult and stressful. Most new grads would tell you that, to some degree, they don't "like" their job -- and it's often not about the specific position as much as it is about feeling stressed, incompetent, fearful about making mistakes, etc. The first year or so is murder, and then it gets better. :)

Unless there are big, real, objective problems with your specific job and/or employer, I would strongly encourage you to stick with your current position for a full year before making a decision that you "hate" acute care. It really takes that long for a new graduate to get adjusted/adapted enough to "real life" nursing to be able to make an informed, objective decision about that.

Back when I graduated from nursing school (in the Dark Ages :wink2:), we graduated expecting that the first year was going to be awful, and we needed to just grit our teeth and get through it. And we knew a lot more about the practical, "real-life" aspects of practicing nursing when we graduated than graduates today do! A surprising number of graduates nowadays seem to expect to feel comfortable right away in their first nursing job, and, if they don't, there must be something wrong with the job and they should move on. If you searched this board, you would find many threads by/about people who decided, a few months (or even a few weeks!) into their first job, that they "hated" that job (or just didn't like it enough) and jumped ship and found another job. Then, after a couple months or so on that job, they weren't loving the new position, so they quit and took another job. Etc., etc., etc. Fast-forward a year of 18 months, and they're still job-hopping, still haven't found a job where they felt comfortable right away (surprise!), and they're well on their way to being unemployable because of the job-hopping.

When new grads hop rapidly from one job to another, waiting to walk into a job they really love right away, they are starting over "from scratch" each time; they never settle in and get comfortable/familiar in one place, and they never "get over the hump" of being a new grad and start to develop some competence and confidence.

Another consideration is that, if you do decide early on to leave acute care, bedside nursing and move into an office job, that may well make you less competitive as a candidate for NP programs compared to candidates who do have significant, solid clinical experience. Not necessarily, not at all schools, but why take the chance of limiting your options with grad school? If you go right into office nursing and stay there for a long time, it will also make you less competitive as a candidate for acute care nursing positions later on if you decide you want to get back into bedside nursing.

I'm sure lots of folks here will come along after me and say, heck, girlfriend, if you're not loving the job just walk away! Life's too short!, but I strongly encourage you to stick out the first year before making any big changes. Getting that "year of med-surg experience" can't hurt you professionally if you decide later that it's not really your "thing," but not having gotten it may hurt you (or, at least, hinder you to some degree) later on if you don't.

Best wishes for whatever you decide!

imanedrn · Sep 3, 2008

The 6 month mark was like magic for me.

I remember coming on here during my first few months (esp. the first 2 during my preceptorship) and feeling like things were NEVER going to click for me. I remember feeling miserable, having panic attacks, crying a lot, feeling insecure and disorganized -- you name a negative feeling, and I felt it!

Things have slowly just fallen into place.

The big kicker for me was when I (subconsciously, actually!) realized that there's no room for scheduled perfection in nursing. To make sure I'm being clear, being a perfectionist is certainly an admirable trait in nursing, esp. if it's a CYA and "make sure my pts are safe" thing. But the scheduling part does NOT work! -- not for me, anyway. At first, I tried to fit everything I did into a nice and neat time frame. Newp. Did not work.

After the 6 month mark, I realized that I was perfectly capable of getting EVERYTHING done DURING my shift, even if I didn't have x task done by x time frame. (The only times I ever stay late anymore are if I'm d/c'ing a pt whose d/c orders were written during my shift, but they had ride issues, so I do NOT hand that off to the night nurse; instead, I stick around to make sure it's done). There are some experienced nurses (1 in particular) who REGULARLY stay 2-3 hours late to finish charting. (I'm not quite sure why the DON lets them get away with this, but...whatev.) In any case, once I loosened my the structure of my shift, things just kinda' fell into place.

For example, when I first started, I used to write EVERYTHING down with the hopes of charting later. Well, that's exactly what I did: I charted later -- later than my shift ended, to be precise. After I realized that wasn't working, I started making a more regimented schedule for myself. For example, I would have all of my initial assessments charted by noon. It worked great for a while, but I also had to make some sacrifices, such as pushing off pt interactions (in general!) until after 1400 hrs or so. I realized that kinda' sucked for my pts. So then I realized I could still keep my stuff written down (otherwise, I'd forget it all!) to chart later, but I could do most of it in bits and pieces. I think part of it, truly, has been becoming comfortable with the charting system itself and also with myself as a nurse.

The only problem will be if I go to another hospital system and have to learn to use a whole other system! :no:

In any case, the whole point of all of that was to encourage you to hang in there. On one hand, you may be in the wrong place for your personality type -- which is what I thought at first. Once I became comfortable with myself, though, I realized it was me that needed a little work and not the unit.

Good luck! :nurse:

Evalina · Sep 4, 2008

Thank you both for your advice! I spent the afternoon thinking and praying, crying a little, and eating chocolate. I think I do need to stay where I am until I feel competent, and then decide if and/or where I need to move. At least that way, I'm choosing from a position of strength. And that means at least several more months, probably a year or more. Your replies were a great help in my thinking!

Thanks again, I appreciate the encouragement and the words of wisdom. I'm glad to have discovered this forum, and the people who use it. Hopefully, I'll one day be able to offer the same thoughts to another scared and flipped out new nurse. :loveya:

elkpark · Sep 4, 2008

You're welcome -- we've all been there. Give it a year, and then see what you think. :)

marilynmom, LPN, NP · Sep 4, 2008

I am a new grad as well. I graduated in May and have had my license and have been working in an ICU since June. It is HARD and some days I reallllyyyy doubt myself. One day I had a *horrible* day....so bad that I called in sick the next day (I just literally couldn't do it--I was that stressed out, I couldn't even sleep and my heart was racing all night) and even went online looking for other jobs thinking to myself that I literally can't do this anymore. I came to realize that it was just one day and I needed to take it day by day and realize that I am new and am still learning, that I'm going to have good days and bad days. I don't feel one bit guilty about calling in that day either....I seriously needed that day as a mental health/nervous breakdown day and things have gotten better since then for me.

I've talked to a lot of the other new grads that I've work with and they ALL (except for one) feel the same way I do. We have all spent time crying, stressed out, feeling stupid, not sleeping, eating too much or not eating at all, losing weight or gaining weight, having diarrhea or puking before work, not wanting to go to work ever again, looking at other options, hating our job, etc.

Now I am 3 months into my position and things are just *starting* to get a tiny bit better for me. I can now sleep for most of the night before I go in (this is a BIG deal for me!!! LOL) and my appetite before and during work has gotten better (I lost 10 pounds from the stress!). I am still super nervous and freak out when I get an admit or when something goes wrong....but day by day it's getting better.

I just wanted you to know that your not alone :) I am convinced that once we make it to the 1 year mark things are going to get better.....all the RNs that I work with tell me that and everyone on this board says the same thing and I trust them. Hang in there.

NeoNurseTX, RN · Sep 4, 2008

Give it a year. I'm a newish grad. I started my RN job Jan 08 and just started feeling comfortable about in August..and with some things, I'm still unsure.

Hoosiernurse, ADN, RN · Sep 4, 2008

OMG! I am so glad to have read your post! :yeah:I am a new grad as of June, passed boards in August, and have been working on a solid organ transplant floor (which is really just a lot of mostly old transplants and overflow med/surg patients) for about four weeks now.

I feel JUST like you. I thought I had written your post, in fact! I feel stupid all the time, like I didn't learn anything. I graduated with honors and now it just seems like it means nothing to me. I am very hard on myself and hate it when I don't have the answers. I also suffer from social anxiety, so being observed or having people put a lot of direct pressure on me is very difficult. Part of the reason I went into nursing is so that I can confront that part of myself and use behavioral therapy to overcome it, but it is not a pleasant thing at all.

People always say that the first year of nursing is hard, but there's just no way they can prepare you for how rough it is. I had no idea I would be ready to quit, feeling so goofed up all the time, crying on the way home from work, feeling so inadequate and in the way that I just want to hide. While coping with these feelings, you have to do all the paperwork, remember skills and treatments, cope with what the patients and families need, dispense meds correctly, and on and on. It is the most overwhelming thing I have ever had happen, and I really don't like it. I'm tired and disillusioned.

But I have the support of my husband and children. Last night my husband told me that I have to find ways of coping, that I am not going to have the answers all the time but I should never let anyone disrespect me. Problem is, most of the time I thing it's ME disrespecting ME, inside...you know what I mean? I am really beating myself up for not being the one who knows the answers. That's part of my programming I have to overcome, I guess.

Bottom line, it's going to hard anywhere I go. There is going to be a learning curve and I am going to have to learn to deal with this. Yeah, a desk job would be okay, but I would always feel I had just turned tail and run out on a challenge. Being challenge and growing is why I went into nursing in the first place.

I, too, plan to be an NP...a cardiac NP, but I will not be able to do that for awhile. I have to have the experience and the know-how, and the only ways to get it is to make it through this tough time. What cannot be cured must be endured, and I believe we will make it if we just don't give up. I believe it will get better, because I am sure I am learning so much every day I am on the floor, even when I feel goofy and inadequate. I won't be that way all the time! We made it through school, we made it through boards, I think we just have to learn to be good to ourselves. This, in my opinion, is the hardest lesson of all.

Please don't give up...I'm not going to. I'm going to be right back in there tomorrow, and the next day. One day we will be as smooth as those other nurses we see around us. We just have to believe. :nurse:

Cara

RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN · Sep 4, 2008

I feel that way after a long hard week. But now I have several days off, just enough to feel rejuvenated to go back. I think I like it a little more each week. Just take these ladies advice and hang in there. You may start loving it, you may not. But at least you'll have given it time to know for sure.

levisandtees · Sep 4, 2008

Thanks for everyone's responses--it's really easy to lose perspective and confidence--and it's wonderful to hear from others who have been through the same thing...thanks for the reassurance that things will get better!!

helper T cell · Sep 5, 2008

Hi,

I want to echo everything Ranaazha has said as I think we are about the same time as nurses. I'm starting my 9th month now on a Med Surg unit. I to had to rethink how I was approaching things as somehow I was getting out late everynight because of charting. I had to talk to myself and go hey look the way your approaching your day is just not working. So I made myself make some changes. They all say time management is the key but I'm like huh?? what??? I"m working all day and doing the best I can for my pts. Now I am understanding more about time management. for example delegation is huge; asking for help from other nutses; being able to prioritize the must dos and the maybe they can wait dos so I can chart. Remember the hospital goes 24 seven and I try to get everything done that I'm supposed to for the next shift and not leave alot but sometimes it can't be helped. there will be another nurse to replace me at 1930 and she or he can take it from there. Each day that I get more experience I am alittle more confident, spend less time runnig around in circles and making trips down the hall I could have avoided and HUGE is what she said about charting in bits and pieces. Since I started doing that I am out more often on time or maybe 1/2 hour at the most. Please hang in there. Once your year is up then move on but the assesment and skills expierence you are getting in the acute care setting will serve you well as you proceed in your career. Plus I think the team work skills we develope at the hospital as well as the collaberation with other departments is really good. Also take advantage of any and all hospital sponserd education you can get while you are there. I don't know how your facility is but we have a great ed department. Remember you are not alone in your feelings.. Come here alot and read other posts. It's really hard being a new nurse as we have a huge responsibility that none of us take lightly.

:rolleyes: :typing:nurse:

PennyNickelDime_RN · Sep 7, 2008

I too am working on an oncology floor. I was hired in June, worked about 4 weeks, took the boards and failed and am returning to work tomorrow (passed the boards this week!!).

Before I went on personal leave, I was not sure I liked the floor. I'm still not sure but am hopeful that once I become more comfortable and not as afraid that it will get better. I really don't know my co workers real well but am hoping they are supportive.