New Grad RN, and I don't like it!

ejean · Sep 18, 2008

I appreciated your post. I too was a straight A "student" and now that I am actually on the floor I feel like I hardly know anything. I am six weeks into a new grad program and constantly question if I am going to be able to "get" this. I always feel so slow. It seems as if other new grads are doing so much better than me. (Getting charting done, decent time management, clinical knowledge, etc. ) Are some people just better at putting on their game face than I am? DAILY I feel like I just want to quit. The posts I've read encourage me to know I am not alone in my feelings though.

Thanks

PennyNickelDime_RN · Sep 18, 2008

I completed my first week from hell on my floor. One thing I do not like is the constant changing of preceptors. Once I get comfortable with one and who is a great teacher I get put with another who has no interest in teaching and expects me to know everything there is to know. I was so overwhelmed last night for example that I finally stopped in my CNS's office in an effort to explain without complaining about my preceptor that I just wasn't getting what I need. I am not going to compromise patient safety simply because my preceptor doesn't want to accompany me in to a room for a procedure I have never done before. A verbal explanation just doesn't cut it for me, I need to be shown hands on. For example, my preceptor asked me to hang an antibiotic on a patient who was also on a PCA morphine drip. The antibiotic was incompatible with the morphine. I questioned this as to what to do. She actually told me to just tell the patient that for the next hour NOT to push the button on the PCA pump. That is what sent me into the CNS's office. I was not going to take the risk that the patient wouldn't remember or by habit he would push it when he needed pain relief. It seemed to me that the safest way was to turn off the PCA for the hour needed to run in the antibiotic. Am I crazy?

odinhoub2422 · Feb 20, 2010

I think if you don't like it then leave I stayed on a oncology floor for four months and left. I missed the OR, the outpatient and clinic setting are more me. I want to go to NP school too and I know my OR experience will be good enough to get me in.

Evalina · Feb 21, 2010

I was the original poster of this message, and just wanted to give an update on my situation. A year and a half later, I'm no longer a floor nurse (got an awesome administrative nursing job!) and happy not to be on the floor. Thanks to all who replied and had words of advice and encouragement!

Funny thing was, even when I wrote the first post, I was the one the other new grads looked up to. Yeah, that was nothing but game face :). I was an anxious, miserable girl on the inside. I'd even have panic attacks the nights before my shifts, and leave work scared that I'd missed something that would kill someone. It took several months to get the worst of the "new nurse" learning curve behind me, but once I did, man was it better! I learned more efficient ways of doing things, became much more confident and comfortable with my responsibilities and liabilities, and didn't feel so lost. It really did just take some time.

Looking back, I do see how valuable my time on the floor really was. I'm a better nurse for it, even though I never wanted to do floor nursing in the first place. I knew, even while a student, that my temperament wasn't suited to that environment. But as I said, I learned a lot, grew a lot as a nurse and as a person, and am grateful for the experience.

So, to any new grads reading this: Yes, the experience makes a difference. Yes, it really does get better! Just keep going.

odinhoub2422 · Feb 21, 2010

Just curious wha kind of administrative job your doing? How much longer did you stay on the floor and do you still plan to go to np school?

limonada · Feb 26, 2010

Well I am very glad to hear you are doing well! But how long did you stay at that job and what exactly are you doing now?

Evalina · May 4, 2010

I stayed on the floor until October 2009, when I was offered another job doing Developmental Disability nursing for an agency. 30% raise!!!! I was also 8 months pregnant, so it was AWESOME to get to sit down . In all, I worked the floor for 18 months, and left on wonderful terms. I even have a PRN slot waiting if I ever want to go back. But I'm much happier with what I'm doing now. I always felt like a mouse in a maze in the hospital, just run run run and no rest for 12 hours. Still, it was worth doing, absolutely.

You have to push yourself to find yourself. The floor will do that.

Oh, I'm no longer so gung-ho for NP school. I'm actually leaning toward either business or informatics/perhaps library science.

cncplus3 · May 6, 2010

I was the original poster of this message, and just wanted to give an update on my situation. A year and a half later, I'm no longer a floor nurse (got an awesome administrative nursing job!) and happy not to be on the floor. Thanks to all who replied and had words of advice and encouragement!
Funny thing was, even when I wrote the first post, I was the one the other new grads looked up to. Yeah, that was nothing but game face :). I was an anxious, miserable girl on the inside. I'd even have panic attacks the nights before my shifts, and leave work scared that I'd missed something that would kill someone. It took several months to get the worst of the "new nurse" learning curve behind me, but once I did, man was it better! I learned more efficient ways of doing things, became much more confident and comfortable with my responsibilities and liabilities, and didn't feel so lost. It really did just take some time.
Looking back, I do see how valuable my time on the floor really was. I'm a better nurse for it, even though I never wanted to do floor nursing in the first place. I knew, even while a student, that my temperament wasn't suited to that environment. But as I said, I learned a lot, grew a lot as a nurse and as a person, and am grateful for the experience.
So, to any new grads reading this: Yes, the experience makes a difference. Yes, it really does get better! Just keep going.

Thank you so much for the update I love when I read an old post from someone and then see they updated later!

truffles111 · Nov 4, 2010

hello....i am about 5 months in...i am at a subacute facility with 12-16 patients. the patients have iv's wound vacs, tpn, g-tubes, etc. lots of new orders...busy. i (and other staff that have neeb nurses for a long time) am there for my 3-11 shift until around 1:30-3am every night. i am burnt out already. i don't think i am cut out to be a nurse. i am trying to think of a specialty area, or cert., or masters degree that works well with nursing. i don't know. i am at a loss. i cannot get into another area of nursing with out experience, but i just can't take it. help. the disability services nursing sounds interesting...i just don't know what to do.

MJB2010 · Nov 5, 2010

I am glad you found something that suits you better! I could have written that first post. I am in training as a new grad right now and the stress is so bad! The nurses at report constantly berating me and telling me all the things I should have done with the eye rolls and sighs. I am still with a preceptor, I cannot imagine how they will make me doubt myself when I dont have her second opinion on everything. They really do eat their young, I now know why the turnover is so high at this hospital.

I know I need to stick this out for at least 6 months (if I can make it and I will try) but the thought of having this kind of stress and feeling this way for an entire year is daunting!!!!!! I dont know if I am going to make it. I am literally crossing days off the calendar and marked celebrations for the month markers. With this market I dont have the luxury of finding another new grad job unless I move out of state.

eyeball · Nov 6, 2010

This is a really good thread for me right now. Only the names change... I could have written several of the "i'm a new nurse and it's awful!" posts. Lots of wisdom in the responses. Thank you all.

Evalina · Nov 7, 2010

Truffles, nursing is a big field, and there's sooo much more to it than what you've seen thus far. I've felt the same way, and still occasionally wonder what I was thinking when I signed up for this. I even considered walking away from nursing altogether, being a bank teller or something. I'm glad I didn't. Somewhere, there's something that will suit you, that will click. My M-I-L is a career surgical nurse, and she was telling about retching while cleaning a lady's dentures as a student, and knowing she just wouldn't make it on a floor. I hope you keep looking for your spot, and I hope you get some relief.

MJB, I had a couple of nurses make faces at me, and I talked to them. I pulled them aside, and asked if they had any suggestions for me, or if they would tell me if they knew an easier or better way to do something, because I didn't want to be awkward forever. It worked, but if it hadn't, I was ready to pull them aside again and call them on the non-productive attitude. Being new shouldn't make you a target.

This time, as hard as it is, is when you learn to make judgments, this is when you learn enough to judge anything. And you will be so amazed the day you realize that you are competent, that you actually, truly for once know exactly what you're doing. It will come, and it will be great! Wherever you find yourself, keep learning, soak it all up, and keep an eye open for the next opportunity. BTW, I changed jobs in the midst of a recession, hiring freezes, and while 7 months pregnant. When it's your time, it will happen. Until then, I hope you find a way to breathe easier, and that you find nurses to support and guide you. Hugs and good thoughts! :hug: