I will go ahead and state that this may be a sensitive topic, so please forgive me ahead of time if I offend anyone, it is not my intention. I just need some advice from people who may have experienced the same thing I am. This may get a little long-winded.
I am a new grad nurse who just took a position as a charge nurse on a post-acute unit. I absolutely LOVE my job from a clinical standpoint. I love my patients, and the environment is ever changing so it keeps me on my toes. I learned more the first day on the floor than any clinical rotation during school...which is awesome! That being said, my work environment is hostile.
I'm the new kid on the block, and I get that there will be people who don't like me no matter where I work, but this feels like more than that. I am Caucasian, one of only two Caucasians who work on this unit. There is one particular tech who has been here since Jesus was a baby, and she makes my life hell. No matter how politely I ask her to do something, she refuses if it's not something she wants to do right then. Ugh. I've offered to help her in completing certain tasks in an effort to establish that I am not "that nurse" who feels that I am above the work that techs do...still didn't matter. She gives me an attitude, raises her voice above mine every time I speak and just flat out disrespects me any opportunity she gets.
She and I had a disagreement about the way she spoke to a patients family. The family came for a compassionate care visit to see their loved one who was dying from covid complications. This tech was rude, disrespectful and basically made a heartbreaking situation more difficult for this family. I pulled the tech aside and asked her to let me handle the family from that point forward. After the family left she proceeded to attack me and claimed that I think I'm better than her because I am white. Wait, what?!! How did this become a race issue?
Since then there is tension with everyone I work with. I've had several other nurses and techs approach me and ask me if I really did call her the "N" word (which is a term that I have never and will never use or be OK with). The nurse who is on the same rotation as me for night shift is close with this tech. Since the disagreement, the night nurse has gone above and beyond to make it known she does not like me. She leaves nasty notes instructing me to do things, she will chart pertinent information about patients and claim she gave report to day nurse, but actually doesn't tell me about it. She throws me under the bus any chance she can.
There's much more, but that's the gist of it, and it is making the stress of being a new nurse so much worse. I've attempted to speak to both the tech and the night nurse, and that made things so much worse. I went to management and nothing changed. I actually had one manager tell me it's best if I just keep my head down and mouth shut to avoid conflict. Seriously?!!
I'm to the point where I would almost rather play in traffic blindfolded than to come to work. Here in lies the issue... I signed a 2 year contract with a sign-on bonus (which I cannot afford to pay back right now). What else can I do? Has anyone else been in a similar situation where you feel like your voice isn't being heard because of your race, religion, gender etc.?
Being a white woman, it was pretty humbling reading this article. I consider myself fairly open, non judgemental etc and yes, no matter how much I may not want to admit it, white privilege really does exist. People get treated differently based on the colour of their skin. And sure, while we cant undo all the injustice thats happened to people of non european descent, as responsible healthcare providers we must be aware of this and actively seek to counter balance the impact of it
Hope this makes sense. (its been a really long week and cant guarantee my words make sense)
So I don't know if it's a parental thing but I honestly don't know if myself or siblings have ever exhibited racism to anyone. My parents are very strict even until today and they would not have tolerated any form of discrimination towards anyone. I know personally until it's actually pointed out through an incident or occurrence, I am not aware of anyone's race until maybe a couple of hours have passed. You see the person and engage the person and then possibly later on something might clue me in as to their race. The point is that if it isn't a priority in your engagement of other people, it possibly doesn't become a factor. I also know that this isn't the same for everyone but if everyone tried to see another person as a potential problem solving machine, race might not be such a big deal.
Now in the interest of being honest, if someone is a piece of ***, I would notice that immediately, purely for self preservation of course. I have found that horrible people arrive in all colors and I tend to avoid them. And my treatment of horrible people if they feel it's necessary to mess with me, probably overcomes all the goodness I acrue elsewhere. Likely a sublimation thing.
So I don't know if it's a parental thing but I honestly don't know if myself or siblings have ever exhibited racism to anyone. My parents are very strict even until today and they would not have tolerated any form of discrimination towards anyone. I know personally until it's actually pointed out through an incident or occurrence, I am not aware of anyone's race until maybe a couple of hours have passed. You see the person and engage the person and then possibly later on something might clue me in as to their race. The point is that if it isn't a priority in your engagement of other people, it possibly doesn't become a factor. I also know that this isn't the same for everyone but if everyone tried to see another person as a potential problem solving machine, race might not be such a big deal.
Now in the interest of being honest, if someone is a piece of ***, I would notice that immediately, purely for self preservation of course. I have found that horrible people arrive in all colors and I tend to avoid them. And my treatment of horrible people if they feel it's necessary to mess with me, probably overcomes all the goodness I acrue elsewhere. Likely a sublimation thing.
Hindsight is 20/20. Note to self: never sign an employment contract ??♀️ Thanks for the words of wisdom.
14 hours ago, callinshotz said:
I feel like your job set you up to fail. Why on earth would they allow a brand spanking new nurse to be charge over a unit they know is staffed with difficult people. Being charge is hard enough when you have experience and your unit trusts you. On top of that make you sign your life away for 2 years. So you can’t even step down. That’s hell to me. I’m not surprised that they are acting like that towards you. They don’t respect nor trust you at all. Your job took advantage of you.
I realize it doesn't help your situation, but these two answers are for anyone considering taking a sign on bonus or accepting an incharge position as a brand new nurse. Just Don't!
There is a good reason hospitals offer a sign on bonus tied to a time commitment and trust me it is normally very bad for the nurse!
Hospitals even large ones are like small towns, everyone knows who the bullies are and which units are awful to work on. Management is also well aware how difficult this person is as are most of the people on your unit.
The people who asked you if you really said the "n" word were probably more expressing their disbelief in her allegation than a belief you did say it. People are distancing themselves from you purely for self protection. They don't want to be on the receiving end of the treatment they see you being subjected too.
I'm really sorry you are going through this but your manager who advised you to keep your head down and mouth shut wasn't wrong. It's either that and hope this person decides at some point to leave you alone (most likely pick on someone else) or ask to transfer units.
Specializes in Mental Health, Gerontology, Palliative.
On 1/29/2021 at 8:38 PM, Curious1997 said:
So I don't know if it's a parental thing but I honestly don't know if myself or siblings have ever exhibited racism to anyone. My parents are very strict even until today and they would not have tolerated any form of discrimination towards anyone. I know personally until it's actually pointed out through an incident or occurrence, I am not aware of anyone's race until maybe a couple of hours have passed. You see the person and engage the person and then possibly later on something might clue me in as to their race. The point is that if it isn't a priority in your engagement of other people, it possibly doesn't become a factor. I also know that this isn't the same for everyone but if everyone tried to see another person as a potential problem solving machine, race might not be such a big deal.
Now in the interest of being honest, if someone is a piece of ***, I would notice that immediately, purely for self preservation of course. I have found that horrible people arrive in all colors and I tend to avoid them. And my treatment of horrible people if they feel it's necessary to mess with me, probably overcomes all the goodness I acrue elsewhere. Likely a sublimation thing.
The thing is I woud never knowingly treated someone differently based on the colour of their skin either. In my opinion a jerk is a jerk. That opinion is based on their actions and attitudes, not their the colour of their skin.
I'm one of those hopelessly naive human beings that often until it gets pointed out to me it would never occur to me that other people might do things differently
The reason why I found that article really good was it made me realise, than even though this is how I think, there is a whole bunch of people out there who act in a different way. Like I said I would never have ever considered that I have white privlidge, this artcile was good because it wasnt coming from an angle of "you have white privlidge" it was more like 'this is what I experienced as a person of colour"
Specializes in Pediatric HH 3yrs experience, 2yrs acute mental he.
I am truly sorry that you are dealing with this! As an ER nurse I always found it helpful to have a mantra in my head when my co-workers were being rude. I find a mantra like I deserve respect put forward an energy that helps to safeguard your mental well-being. It sucks that you can't afford to leave, but try to continue to keep appropriate boundaries. I find it helpful to have empathy for other people when they're behaving this way because they are not happy people but you need have the boundaries to protect yourself! Talk with your supervisor! Take notes in your off time so that if it escalates you have something to protect you! Additionally, journaling can be a very good stress reliever in addition to protecting and CYA-ing! If you really feel like it's you against several people, I would talk to a lawyer now before it becomes necessity! If they are throwing you under the bus you need to protect yourself and your license, you are a newer nurse and you have your whole career ahead of you! (ABCYA- always be covering your @$$!)
Being different increases the problems. But, to maltreat people based on their race, I'd be the one to pick up the baseball bat first. People who have this issue need to work on themselves why they automatically abuse others who are purple.
I'm used to a variety of people before I immigrated to the USA. I worked in a place populated with foreign tourists. My coworkers were my own kind. We shared the same language and culture. We liked and disliked each other. Remember, this was my homeland, not a designated town in North America.
If the race was a problem, then there are so many crimes perpetrated within the family?
If they can abuse their own clan, think how they're to people who aren't like them.
EAP can offer some solid, confidential advice. Would look into that if I were you. EAP can guide you through both the professional actions necessary for you to take, and also help you sort through and deal with the mental gymnastics that these situations tend to create
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So I don't know if it's a parental thing but I honestly don't know if myself or siblings have ever exhibited racism to anyone. My parents are very strict even until today and they would not have tolerated any form of discrimination towards anyone. I know personally until it's actually pointed out through an incident or occurrence, I am not aware of anyone's race until maybe a couple of hours have passed. You see the person and engage the person and then possibly later on something might clue me in as to their race. The point is that if it isn't a priority in your engagement of other people, it possibly doesn't become a factor. I also know that this isn't the same for everyone but if everyone tried to see another person as a potential problem solving machine, race might not be such a big deal.
Now in the interest of being honest, if someone is a piece of ***, I would notice that immediately, purely for self preservation of course. I have found that horrible people arrive in all colors and I tend to avoid them. And my treatment of horrible people if they feel it's necessary to mess with me, probably overcomes all the goodness I acrue elsewhere. Likely a sublimation thing.