So, I'm a fairly new nurse, graduated in December began working in February on a step down/telemetry unit... I already worked on the floor as an aid, so I knew the nurses and what to expect from the floor. I Began orientation on days, it was really really extremely busy, but that's what I enjoyed I loved being busy and loved always having sone thing to do, my preceptor was also cool.. she taught me the basics, but she was the preceptor that always had a student so I feel like she was maybe burned out on teaching so maybe she didn't teach me full out. Fast forward, I was moving to nights soon and my night preceptor was supposedly the preceptor from hell which everyone had told me about, but she was the old experienced nurse who knew everything and I felt like I could take her on. So I moved to nights, and I have a love/hate relationship with it... my first couple nights were rough, I got hit HARD with some critical patients and I was lost I felt like i didn't know what to do. And it made me feel really really dumb, and insecure and inadequate... but the nights went by and got easier as I now know what to expect, i have more time to learn at night, my preceptor KNOWS LITERALLY EVERYTHING AND SHE TEACHES ME A LOT. but she's a real b*tch as well, She'll come in the room with my patients and if I'm not doingg something right, she'll tell me on the spot in front of my patients like, that's a huge NONO with me, it's a way you can teach me without making me look stupid. But for the most part I thought we got along pretty well and I was starting to look up to her and constantly praising her and how good she was, she constantly reassured me too of how good of a job I'm doing, I literally asked her a couple days ago if she thinks I'm ready to get off orientation and she was all like yes your doing a fine job, your time management skills are up to par, I just need to work on noticing when the patients is getting critical and when to intervene (which I'm a new nurse I'm still learning) that's understandable.
But my sister in law works on the same floor as me and she started after me. After she got off one day she called to tell me that my preceptor and other nurses were discussing me.....(mainly my preceptor).. "she acts like she doesn't care about anything she doesn't do anything, maybe telemetry isn't the floor for her, I literally have to go in and recheck her after she does assessments and blah blah blah."
Now i am a new nurse, already having feelings of inadequacy, scared to death, feel like I'm not competent for the job.. when I started nights I started to 2nd guess if nursing was right for me. But my preceptor saying all those things about literally confirmed that I am inadequate and it really hurt my feelings because this is something that I'm so passionate about and I just spent the last 4 years of my life to become this and I have someone (that I'm supposed to be able to trust and look up too) talking behind my back, it's okay if she feels like I need a little more training, I wouldn't mind it, but I'm not understanding why she's talking about me behind my back but then tell me how good of a job I'm doing ....
Get off that floor and begin to tell your SIL nothing about your work life. She's shown you who she is, a backstabbing hypocritical gossip, when people whow you their true selves always believe them. Tell your SIL nothing futher in the future that you would not be comfortable being plastered on a public bulletin board.
Sad thing is for some of these nurses they are trying to prove their worthiness through superiority(I am the best, most greatest nurse and no one can attack me for not knowing it all) by putting you down.
Unless your sister in law has shown vindictive behavior in the past, I would think she offered the information up just so you would know ahead of time in order to not be blindsided if something is said to you by a nurse manager, etc.
Other poster's are right, you cannot control what others say about you. But I don't blame you your concern because your preceptor is the one reporting back to your manager on whether or not your the right fit for the floor. Do you have meetings ever with your NM as a new grad? I would say nothing about your preceptor but ask if she has any concerns about you going solo.
Once you do go solo, you really can stop caring what people say about you. Once you get more confident and know that your do a good job, the gossip wont even affect you.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I'm wondering about your sister-in-law's motives in telling you this. If you haven't heard it from your preceptor or the manager, it hasn't been said.
That said, preceptors do sometimes discuss orientees. That's valid. I might ask Ashley's opinion about my orientee's time management when she worked with him the other day. Christine might ask me what I thought of her orientee's report the other night. I might talk to the preceptor/precepting team chairman about an obstacle I'm encountering with an orientee's learning process or advise a brand new preceptor how to word her written report on her orientee's weekly evaluation. If your sister-in-law was eavesdropping, she might have misunderstood some of what she heard.
Preceptoring is stressful. It may have been blowing off steam about one incident that happened among hours and hours of good work. Try to put it out of your mind and continue to do your best.
DeeAngel
830 Posts
Get off that floor and begin to tell your SIL nothing about your work life. She's shown you who she is, a backstabbing hypocritical gossip, when people whow you their true selves always believe them. Tell your SIL nothing futher in the future that you would not be comfortable being plastered on a public bulletin board.