New Anxiety and Depression from Work

berdawn, ASN · Jul 2, 2019

My first thought is that I am glad you are reaching out for help! Personally, I'm of the mind that if one's neurotransmitters don't work, store bought is fine. You don't say what other professional experience you have--if this is your first job as an adult, that transition alone could be challenging, especially if you are also taking classes.

It sounds like your manager is supportive of you taking some time to figure out what might work for you and that is a big plus. A work situation like that is worth hanging on to if you feel like you might be able to return after a short break and a little less on your plate. Good Luck!

FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN · Jul 2, 2019

You don't know what other opportunities are available to you unless you apply.

Go on indeed.com and start applying to home health, clinic, dialysis, and anything else that comes up and is different from what you are doing now. If you can get 2 jobs as a new grad ADN in a hospital where you.live, you can get one of those jobs.

You are learning and growing, even if you are just learning what you don't like right now.

NurseBlaq · Jul 2, 2019

Glad you are reaching out for help, getting therapy, and taking the initiative to recognize you have a problem. First, stop drinking before it becomes a downward slope. Second, I would continue outpatient therapy and give the medicine a try to see if your mood improves. Third, take up your manager's suggestion of applying for FMLA so you can give yourself time to regroup and execute a plan to get your life back on track. Lastly, stay in school but maybe peel back to part time.

Sounds to me like you're overwhelmed. You're a new nurse, new job which is completely different than doing clinicals in school, and you've jumped right back into a BSN program before giving yourself time to acclimate to the RN role. Being driven isn't a bad thing at all. What I'm saying here is you never gave yourself time to adjust to the many different new roles before moving on to the next and it appears you're going through multiple culture shocks resulting in the way you currently feel.

Take the FMLA. Relax, take a break, and rest your mind, body, and soul. It will get better. I always had what appeared to me to be "surprise obstacles" every time I enrolled in school. My friends and I would say the universe was working against us because it always seems like when in school everything happens. However, I've learned to embrace it as a life lesson to make me stronger and tougher.

Good luck to you!

K+MgSO4, BSN · Jul 2, 2019

You are OK, you have just discovered that you are not superwoman /man.

Transition from the student role to RN is a major shake up but it sounds like your new boss is supporting you. Stop drinking, get better destressing techniques, have a look for a mindfulness app and use it to just empty your mind at home after work. Ask your boss if you can cut your hours even for a brief period, find your EAP provider and use them. Consider deferring uni for 6 months until you can get your head together.

Take the meds, my stress ( opening a new dept, masters study and reporting my HOU to clinical ethics) showed itself as horrific reflux ( not sleeping due to reflux and not eating either due to pain) and when I had a g scope my oesophagus was burned. Would you expect me to heal that without the truck load of PPI and H2 antagonistic that I needed? Your the same, use the meds and discuss how to reduce them when you are over this hump.

lilly-may · Feb 19, 2020

On 7/2/2019 at 1:53 AM, rural_nurse03 said:
I am a brand new RN who graduated last year. I am having a horrible time with med/surg nursing and it's effect on my mental health. Prior to the last semester of nursing school, I was a happy and optimistic person. Starting June 2018 during the final semester, I began having anxiety, depressed feelings, excess drinking, and generally feeling miserable. I worked through these feelings for the last year, but it has gotten so bad that I can no longer do my job.
I quit my first nursing job in January after working for three months. Towards the end of my time there, I had a total breakdown. I walked into the nurse manager's office and quit without notice. I was a mess. I applied to a different hospital, which I thought was better, again working med/surg, and now have the same problems. I called out the last two shifts and my manager wants me to apply for FMLA. My doctor has given me two weeks off work. I have started seeing a therapist and my primary physician wants me to take Escitalopram and Propranolol. Before nursing, I never had problems like this, so it feels like I am being medicated in order to do this job.
I am considering taking time off from my BSN program, going to part time and losing health insurance, or quitting again and trying to find a different nursing role. I have been told that there are no other opportunities for me as a new associate degree nurse. I am also afraid of the professional effect of quitting two RN jobs in 6 months. I am very motivated personally want to continue my career growth and education. Do you have any suggestions?
I am looking at this bottle of Lexapro and haven't taken the first dose yet. It just seems wrong to take anti-depressants in order to do this job.

Hi, how did you get on? Did you leave clincial nursing short term and return.

rural_nurse03 · Feb 20, 2020

Hello, thanks for checking in. I received the email notification about the post. It's my first time looking at it in 8 months.

I voluntarily resigned from the last job in question after my mental health did not stabilize after the 2 week medical leave. I continued to trend downward after resigning, eventually requiring psych hospitalization. I have been taking a regiment of medication and using coping techniques and my faith to rebuild my mental health. It took me over 6 months before I could think about returning to work in any capacity.

I am still unemployed and have not worked since last June, except for occasional temp jobs in landscaping. I've applied for seasonal work at a local park, but still think about trying a different nursing field or role. After the absolute hell I experienced last year, I'm prioritizing my mental health above all else, even a career in nursing, despite the massive effort to complete school and earn my RN license. Truthfully, I'm still not sure where I will end up, but I'm mostly content day to day now.

Thank you again for your interest.

lilly-may · Feb 20, 2020

18 hours ago, rural_nurse03 said:
Hello, thanks for checking in. I received the email notification about the post. It's my first time looking at it in 8 months.
I voluntarily resigned from the last job in question after my mental health did not stabilize after the 2 week medical leave. I continued to trend downward after resigning, eventually requiring psych hospitalization. I have been taking a regiment of medication and using coping techniques and my faith to rebuild my mental health. It took me over 6 months before I could think about returning to work in any capacity.
I am still unemployed and have not worked since last June, except for occasional temp jobs in landscaping. I've applied for seasonal work at a local park, but still think about trying a different nursing field or role. After the absolute hell I experienced last year, I'm prioritizing my mental health above all else, even a career in nursing, despite the massive effort to complete school and earn my RN license. Truthfully, I'm still not sure where I will end up, but I'm mostly content day to day now.
Thank you again for your interest.

I really appreciate your reply back, i'm glad you're in a better place. Hang in there.

But I would really appreciate any advice you have to offer. Your story is pretty much the same position i find myself in. I'm currently in my 2nd post as a new grad RN in less than 4 months. I'm a month into this 2nd post, hoping things would change. The depression is so bad, and I know it's not going to get better. Depression only hit me in my final semester, prior to that i was a keen motivated and confident individual. Nursing is not for me and is that wrong to say. Thanks

rural_nurse03 · Feb 20, 2020

Dialogue and peer support is crucial. I'm happy to share and am sorry you're experiencing similar feelings.

What specialties have you worked in and did you have prior medical experience before nursing? And are you currently receiving any psychiatric help?

Patient safety is the number one priority, and for me that meant two things- recognizing that I could no longer safely perform the job (good of the patient) and acknowledging the horrible effects it was having on me personally (needing to seek help). I understand the pressure you are under to continue working, and the fear you have about your professional reputation. If you're able to still function at work, you may be able to continue while getting help. I was attending therapy twice a week and started taking Zoloft. On the other hand, if you reached the point where I was (crying during report and not able to enter the hospital), it may be best to resign professionally and explain to your manager and HR that it is for medical reasons. That is still a very professional and valid way to separate from the position. That's a tough decision, but one you may have to make.

Life does go on and recovery is possible.

Newbie101 · Jul 5, 2020

Hello. Same thing happened to me. I graduated with my BSN in December 2019. I started working in Med/Surg. And got a horrible preceptor and would make me cry and hate my job everyday! Sad to say I asked for a unit change. I didn't want see her face or even think of working with her!! So I transferred to MB (me thinking I would like it) and same thing... I think tried asking my old supervisor for my position back in the same unit and she said “she didn't have any more spots” So I got an ultimatum and was told I had to go to MED SURG ICU STEPDOWN.. if I wanted to keep my job in that facility.. This all happened in less than 3months. So I just chose it. My anxiety just kicked it and I couldnt stop crying and just went to work one day in the new unit and had 3 code blues in one night it was horrible. Got home and went into a huge manic depression stage. I got admitted into a psych facility In April and havent gone back to work. Everytime I think of returning I get anxiety and get sad and just start crying. It's horrible. Im stuck there. I just want to change careers IDK what to do. Bad thing is I signed a contract. I was taking lexapro and had horrible aide effects. But seriously I just worked for 2 months and was out.

Curious1alwys, BSN, RN · Mar 3, 2021

On 2/20/2020 at 3:54 PM, rural_nurse03 said:

Dialogue and peer support is crucial. I'm happy to share and am sorry you're experiencing similar feelings.

What specialties have you worked in and did you have prior medical experience before nursing? And are you currently receiving any psychiatric help?

Patient safety is the number one priority, and for me that meant two things- recognizing that I could no longer safely perform the job (good of the patient) and acknowledging the horrible effects it was having on me personally (needing to seek help). I understand the pressure you are under to continue working, and the fear you have about your professional reputation. If you're able to still function at work, you may be able to continue while getting help. I was attending therapy twice a week and started taking Zoloft. On the other hand, if you reached the point where I was (crying during report and not able to enter the hospital), it may be best to resign professionally and explain to your manager and HR that it is for medical reasons. That is still a very professional and valid way to separate from the position. That's a tough decision, but one you may have to make.

Life does go on and recovery is possible.

Honestly, I do really feel like some people just have a mental health status that is too fragile for the field of nursing. Yes you can work on it, go to therapy, try drugs...but in the end the stress of the field might still be too much. Or you have to work only PRN. I find that I can skate along OK but once something else enters in...for example marital stress, health issues, kid problems, etc...I start to have a tough time once again. It doesn't take much. I really feel for everyone in this thread, very real issues. Sometimes you do have to choose your mental health over a job. And you know what? That's OK. Maybe you are not hardwired to take it all on! Maybe your history of trauma hinders you here, who knows! I think coming to the realization of what does and does not overwhelm you is key. I understand not wanting to take drugs just to thrive in a specific career. Psych drugs suck!