Newbie101

Hey! I am also a new FNP with minimal RN experience in inpatient setting. I only did 6 months of Med Surg and did home health for 2 years. SO practically have 3 yrs of RN experience while I was in FNP school. I started my new job in primary care this week! AND I have been struggling with imposter syndrom and I feel so nervous and like I know nothing, so making me regret going for this FNP position. BUT I have great support and orientation so I'm looking forward to learning. I honestly feel like FNP is a totally different scope of practice and you learn everything all over again.

Hello! Its been years. How are you doing?

I feel like you will learn everything again. I've done so much reading on this website. And I've seen its more of a CAREER CHANGE then Career Progression.

Hi guys, I'm tired of venting out to my family on how I feel. So I decided to vent out here to nurses. Who actually know what I am feeling. So I am a new grad. Graduated in Dec 2019, got hired on a MED SURG floor. Got a horrible preceptor who threw me out to the wolves on the first day (btw her first time precepting and only 1 year experience) Which I know she was smart, but wasn't patient and nice. She would give me an attitude when I would ask questions or needed help. Even during my first rapid she left me hanging to make me look like a fool infront of the Rapid response team. That was literally just one month. My friends on the floor who graduated with me had the complete opposite experience with their preceptors and felt so bad for me because I got a horrible one. Well I had my days where I would cry infront of her because I was just soooo stressed and she wouldn't even help me out, sometimes I wouldn't find her because she was talking to her friends in the lounge area...well anyways I had a horrible experience and just let it all out when it came down to my 30day evaluation and told my manager I needed to get out of the unit. That my preceptor made me hate med surg. So I did move to Mother and Baby turns out the schedule they were giving me were only nights and I couldnt, so I had to turn it down. I asked my old manager back from Med Surg if I could go back and she said no.... SO HR decided to give me a position in MED SURG ICU stepdown unit (they didn't even let me pick a floor) which I knew was going to be worse, If I couldnt handle the first floor what was going to make think I was going to handle this one...sure enough first shift 4 code blues... got out crying that shift. It was horrible. I a person who looks into work environment...and that floor I knew wasnt for me. The co-workers were just ***y.. well I fell into depression and anxiety. The hospital and work was my trigger. I would have mental breakdowns. I didn't know what to do with my life anymore. I felt like a failure. I admitted myself into a short term psych facility and got on lexapro. 2 months later doctor weaned me off since it was messing with my vitals. Never went back to hospital due to a personal leave. 3 months later...found out I was fired from the hospital. It's been 5 months since the last time I stepped int the hospital and 5 months since my downhill. I like to say I am better now. Now I regret leaving the first floor. I miss it. I did enjoy it on my good days. I loved the fast pace sometimes and the adrenaline. I just hated how my preceptor was. I hate myself for not giving myself time nor a chance on that unit. I see all the colleagues I graduated with and it makes me sad because theyre so close to 1 year experience and I havent even started. I miss school and love it that I decided to apply to a Direct Entry MSN FNP program. I've kept my mind so busy...I love learning when it comes to books and research. But now...Im so scared and intimidated because I have nooo experience and IDK if I want to go back to the hospital...Ill admit its my trigger sometimes. Ill get sad when I start to think of my decision and start to regret everything. But IDK if I should continue with FNP. I currently at a COVID part time school nurse job and I love it. But its temporary. I am young. I am 22 I feel like I am wasting my time. My husband says to take it as a break after school "one year break" and hopefully get back on my feet and push myself to apply to a hospital to get experience under my belt... sorry guys this is long, but just wanted to vent...

Hello! What did you decide to do?

Hello... its been three years where are you now?

@lilly-may same boat as you. 22 years old new grad and basically everything you said is me too. How is it going? What did you decide to do?

Hello. Same thing happened to me. I graduated with my BSN in December 2019. I started working in Med/Surg. And got a horrible preceptor and would make me cry and hate my job everyday! Sad to say I asked for a unit change. I didn't want see her face or even think of working with her!! So I transferred to MB (me thinking I would like it) and same thing... I think tried asking my old supervisor for my position back in the same unit and she said “she didn't have any more spots” So I got an ultimatum and was told I had to go to MED SURG ICU STEPDOWN.. if I wanted to keep my job in that facility.. This all happened in less than 3months. So I just chose it. My anxiety just kicked it and I couldnt stop crying and just went to work one day in the new unit and had 3 code blues in one night it was horrible. Got home and went into a huge manic depression stage. I got admitted into a psych facility In April and havent gone back to work. Everytime I think of returning I get anxiety and get sad and just start crying. It's horrible. Im stuck there. I just want to change careers IDK what to do. Bad thing is I signed a contract. I was taking lexapro and had horrible aide effects. But seriously I just worked for 2 months and was out.

Hi what route did you end up taking??

I'm so excited that you replied You have no IDEA! I feel like your comment was what I needed and what I was waiting for to make up my mind. So I started January 27. My preceptor was super inpatient with me, bossy, rude...all the words LOL. She threw me out to the wolves literally on my FIRST day because she was “behind” on documentation. She was anxious I guess mentoring me. So at the hospital Floor I work. We have to train up to 9 patients because in case a nurse floats. so last week I had 8 patients, 4 discharges, and 2admissions. It was horrible! And literally she left me alone. I stayed till 9:( 645-9shift. I was dead. Everyday I would come out crying and dreading work. Though I would tell myself and force myself to give another chance that maybe I would like it. But all because I didn't wanna look like a failure. I wanted to do Med surg for my FNP. But no... at my 30day eval I broke down in front of my manager! Mind you it was at the end of a chaotic 14 hour shift. And just flat out told her “this isn't for me” so now I'm switching to something a bit more calm which is Mother Baby. But honestly I was thinking maybe I'm gonna regret this. Maybe I shouldve given it more time. But I didn't wanna go to a job that I busted my *** for 4 years studying to NOT liking it and worried about losing my license because I'm juggling 9patients. Hopefully I did a right decision. I've always loved OB it always in my gut feeling but I chose Med Surg because I wanted a foundation to go back to get my Masters.. hopefully in 9 years Ill love my job and Ill be getting my NP in womens health or something..

Hi! 9 years later.. LOL did you end up staying? I'm currently in the EXACT same situation as you.