nursingworldwhy

I am the type of person who hates code blue, staff assist situations, etc. it freaks me out and I am not the type to think logically in emergent situations. am I the only one like this? I worked with some people who loved when codes occur or new grads who "can't wait to see a patient decompensate." I want to work in the NICU but I'm scared of the codes...does this make sense or am I insane?

Hi guys, I am a new nurse that graduated May 2019. I have held 2 different RN inpatient jobs at this point and I have hated both of them in every fiber of my being. The first one was completely terrible: poor staffing, high ratios, etc. The second one I have now is objectively better but I still hate nursing. I have been an RN at my second job for about 6 months. I was scarred from my first job, but told myself I would give it 6 months to regroup. 6 months later, I still hate my job so much. I would literally do anything else but nursing. is it irrational to switch fields completely? I am also a very introverted person. I dream of having a desk job and I am starting to resent the entire healthcare field in general. I want to be left alone. I don't want people yelling at me. I don't want to run around stressed all the time. even when things are going well, I know anything can go wrong at any point and am just never settled, calm, or happy. I used to be such a positive person but nursing has sucked the life out of my very young soul. I get that it's normal to feel negatively about nursing for the first couple of years, but I am just so miserable. the fact that I resent healthcare is telling me I really should switch fields...I just want to be left alone at a desk where I can do my work and leave. anyone know what job that is? sign me up! not to mention, when I was in nursing school I never liked clinicals...like ever. I guess in retrospect this should have been a sign, but I am very book smart and enjoyed learning. so I guess I just ignored the reality of what my job would be like after my classes were over. I was also reading a stat the other day that about 1/3 of nurses leave the profession within the first couple years. this is telling me it's not just me and that my feelings are never going to get better. is it crazy to switch professions this early on? Does anyone have a job that is not stressful (or AS stressful as the bedside)?