Never give up your dream!!!!

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Specializes in Peds/Geriatrics.

HI everyone!!, I just want to share my journey to all fellow nurses specially future nurses and hope this can give/assist some insights. My journey on taking the NCLEX-RN begin in 1998, I'm a foriegn graduate nurse, an RN frome my country of origin and have work in special areas such as ICU, CCU, so I felt pretty confident that NCLEX won't be too bad, though by then I heard nerve rocking stories that a number of nurses even who graduated here can't make it the first time yet I told myself that's not going to happen to me! I have no concrete picture of NCLEX test plan, thought to myself it's just has to be all bedside nursing on the higher level, In a way it's good that I'm confident but bad that it went over my head, I did self review bought several books that was recommended, study every other day 4-6 hrs,thought I was well prepared I can conquer this on the first shot, oh I was wrong, took it 1st time Flunked it, at that time when you recieved your results at the back there's a bar line and it shows an X how far you are from passing point Men!! mine move just an inch! Aweful as I feel, ashame of myself yet pick myself up wasn't easy but have to bought additional books this time with CD practice question, attend a private reviewer thats located on the other side of the valley so my husband has to drive me there 3x a wk since I don't know the area too well he sleeps in the car while I have my review 4 hrs, 45 days of preparation took it 2nd time, felt little better since I have idea how it looks like yet flunked it again, terrible! I reach out to review centers saw one worth promising in CA, flew to Burbank, CA for a weekend review, a week after sat for the 3rd time, flunked it again, again on the 4th! and the 5th! and the 6th! and by the time I knew it, it was 2002! I didn't do much prepartion since I had a baby girl working a full time job as an HR and doing Intake specialist in a Home Health company, I felt pretty content of what's going on specially spending and being part of how my daughter grow was wonderful. 2002 unexpectedly due to rapid transition of Director of Nursing in the company I work I take on responsibiities not by choice I offer to help out to be on call end up on my hand permanently,end up working 24/7 office/admin work then phone forward to my cell phone, I didn't complain much as I've been with the company for 4 & 1/2 years making decent income and great amount of bonus every month I space out of my Nursing, yet got burnt out mid of 2002 I decided to quit just in time the Director of Nursing is letting me go, her and I don't get along I always questions her decision as she said she had 20 yrs of trauma experience but I disagree of accepting a cardiac patient for homecare to administer an IV push Meds!! I told her with all due respect not safe to administer IV push for a cardiac patient in their home, unless we can provide a cardiac monitor and has a on the clock caregiver to keep an eye on the patient yet for me I just don't feel right about it for having working in a CCU unit, I think I was trained enough to make sound judgement to patient, she didn't like it of course she's the boss so she let me go because of that which work out fine as I planned to quit anyway but her firing me I can collect unemployment!! during my unemployed months I was into thinking to get back on my nursing, yet tempted I was approach by a Physical therapy to join venture into a business with her whom had work in the company I work as she told me everybody are asking where I am?, I was proud and know I did a great job in that company business wise I retained their business client I knew our company is on top of thier list for home care referral and retained our field staff as well. I end up opening a Therapy staffing business on my own wiht my husband assistance as after talking to the therapist that approach me I end to do all the work and get paid less which is unfair I promise her to give her a client that she can obtain business and I did, business florish, revenue excellent additional 5 years had passed we end up opening our own State Licensed home health company, it's run by me and assisted by my husband on the billing sides, we're a team, so definetely nursing is out of my head, I'm enjoying being a successful entrepenuer making awesome income luxury of writing off expenses like travel, vehicles etc. though a lot of work it's worth it, I'm in control of my time still performing as a wife and a mom to my daughter, don't know how I did it but I did! until I had engaged friendship with our field staff nurses and quite often they ask me for assistance how to do things as I told them I'm not licensed here, they trusted my judgement on every situation anyhow and it works safely I was proud of it we passed our state audit with no dificiency, our insurance and other home health clients just loves our quality of services so we are very busy business wise even when the economy takes its down turn we were still booming of revenue, until Dec. 2008 I fill in for a private duty to a private client and she loves to read books, she told me to take some quiet time for mysef and read and reconsider my nursing as I'm good with patient (i'm not trying to pat my own back but true most of our patient comes back to us for services and personally requested our company even mention my name), to my surprise she handed a book to me titled" awakening" put chills in my spine, after my shift still holding the book flashed on me my nursing, questioning should I or should I not, traumatized not to passed it 6th times I'm losing faith on that but I'm good in business. As days goes by as we get very busy our phone is non-stop for referral me and my husband and I couldn't get away with it so I got burned out again! I told my husband I can't handle this anymore, money is great but I feel exhausted! I think i need to redirect to my nursing and at that point I realized I missed it so much!! I have to give up something I can't do 2 things at the same time, I need to know what's important that in the long run can make me and my family happy. My husband is very supportive we decided to sell the home health business and just slowly fade away the staffing, my field staff are sad and so do I as we were all together since the company started until it has expanded to another company, so basically I'm running 2 company sure i'll be exhausted! I did signed up a review on line set time for that while still continue the operations until it get sold, it was crazy, set a date for the 7th times! my husband said you are not ready, I insist anyway took it flunked it! business got sold, this time really strike me deep, I got depress, no interest on doing anything other than obsessed to study!!prepared again for the 8th times devoted 4 months of hrs study diligenty on my CD that I bought which I didn't finish, orders books, flash cards, ABC for passing NCLEX- RN for foriegn nurses- fits perfect sounds like easy to review too just point out key points it's from this famous reviewer from Philippines our staffing business I'm slowly fading more private client calling I turned them down my main focus on my NCLEX to pass, yet flunked the 8th times, I was more depress, I feel my escape is to sleep all the time and it affects my household until my husband found this website, I read several threads knowing I'm Not alone going though this, that makes me feel better, found a fellow nurses that happen to be living at the same state where I am at - AZ but she leaves on the west side I'm on the east side she took the test several times that she can't rememeber how many times either, inspite of our distance we ramain connected through e-mails and support each other up to now, I study diligently less destructions as our last client on staffing ending our service quite soon after 45 days took the exam 9thx's this time had 265 questions first time! I was exhausted! from 1-9x my computer shuts down 75 and the color of my screen are gray!, as I don't want to be around to see the results 4 days after I took my 9th exam I tried the pearson vue trick as I've known from this site it went straight to the credit card section sure enough not good, I went back to Philippines to have reunion with my family as I heard 2 of my brothers that also work from over seas went back home, we had disagreements then the last time I visit 2005 I was busy doing business rather visiting with family, I was arrogant whom I regret that, Spend all they days I was there w/ my mom and the rest of the family at our simple reunion party whom I held for us I ask for apology to those I had hurt specially my mom of not spending time with that I should as I didn't mean to hurt them, tears flooded, as embarass yet humble to accept my mistake my mom gave me her blessings and said remember there's somebody up above, and when it's time it will happen you will see signs everywhere, he can see and hears you! it's just so many are calling too,nothing is impossible if you believe in your heart!! and the rest as well gave thier blessings accept my apology they told me you have the brain and mostly the heart to it, you got up by bending your knees first and that's all it takes and when you do it put your heart into it and it will come easy things will lined up, you may know my family in Philippines are very religious, and also during my glory times of our business is booming I had forgotten God exist, I hardly pray or go to church at all, I feel so guilty for being selfish, I'm was lost, when I came back my husband told me about the offical result in the mail I knew it wasn't good and he said to me I love you anyway! what ever you decide I'm at your side, tears flowing in my eyes, he advice me why don't I try Kaplan and don't worry about looking for a job just focus on studying 'cause my biggest set back is how to start again where do I begin? weired coz before we close down the business I remember I bumped into an old friend an RN stating to try Kaplan 2 of his friend took the class and passed,I heard it before many times and I'm very skeptical about it since I've been burnt of several review course put a bitter taste in my mouth, for some good reason I decided to sign up on line that includes RN complete, combination of classroom and on line, I did join their free event as for test drive to get the feel of it believe it or not I felt comfortable with it, though they offer incentive discount then if you sign up on that day you pay less, but it didn't bother me as I signed up November and the free event was December. I also did Saunders 4th edition on the side and proud to say I did good on it it helps knowledge base since I fall asleep if I read. Brought my self back to God ask forgiveness for my selfishness, went to church every wednesday and saturday afternoon, took KaplanTest drive test my score 58% little frustrated but I told my self it's ok not too bad, I heard others are 45%. My class start right after new years day, diagnostic results 56% and after the classroom sessions readiness is 52% darn!! I ask myself why am I doing this??? Did my Questions Trainer test as follows: 1-3 I felt good as I think I'm improving!! on others that below my anxiety is rising!!

QT 1 - 69%

QT 2 - 72%

QT 3 - 77%

QT 4 - 59%

QT 5 - 56%

QT 6 - 59%

QT 7 - 55%

QBank total 62%- 100%^ complete still not on the 65% - I have read a thread of a nurse angelina02_21 she too didn't reach 65% yet she passed on 75 question and the other one Knpigway same situation- these gives me relief!! I told myself at least I'm learning something- as often I heard Kaplan is a tough course they target on analysis and have strategy that helps to me it does which what I need and thru them I had a clear picture how the NCLEX works the pass/fail system. Scheduled my exam 03/22/10 for the 10X's!! my friend whom I 've met here contineousy boosting me up and that helps, I surround my self with positive people sure it's contageous to help your self-esteem!! a wk before my exam date I see signs that hard to explain gives chills on my skin, on the day of my exam I felt slight anxoius but excited, start off w/ knowledge base then jump up to prioritizations back to back!! took the breaks sure it's helps tremendously!! back of prioritizations, infection control, medications some I never heard of!! applied what I've learned from Kaplan I felt it's working as my questions are not cut and dry you have to really read each one carefully I took my time on each questions I don't care if I ran out of time as long as I make sure somehow I pick out a choice which is more reasonable act of safety, my intructors's voice echoed in my head saying" one thing you can do safely and walk away with a sound mind" reach 265!! I still have 30 mins left my screen this time turned blue!! pay attention to your screen- whew!! yet didn't have much confidence I thought to myself I'm doomed!! 2 days after I took my exam my husband talked me to try the pearson vue trick, nervous as I am I agreed!!, whalla!! I got a good pop up!"stating I have to contact my board......" I hugged my husband tears flowing, on the 3rd day check on Ca BRN nurse my name came up RN!!!! OMG!!! I called my husband it's official I made it!! first thing after I've known that I made it, I whisper a prayer and thank God for helping me finding my way!!! Now I have directions in my life excited to be on practice again!! To those of you not making it the first time don't let be bugged down just keep trying, GOD is good!! I know I didn't - :) BIG thanks to this website, it's been very helpful to me specially when the waves are rough you get great support here!! IN every journey you'll arrive to your destination just be patient though it's hard but the waves will be still- Good Luck everyone!! and HAPPY studying, I'm still praying to all aspiring nurses preparing this exam as part of my promise not just to think my self my friend whom I met here, I'm assisting/couching her to stay on track!!! :lol2: sorry for my novel- hope thise gives insights to those who thinks it's not possible 'cause it's POSSIBLE!!!:redbeathe:redbeathe:redbeathe:nurse:

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:ancong!:

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Specializes in Telemetry.

What a story! Never give up on your dreams...I always tell people; do not let your dream be a distant memory...try and try and try again. I have been on this site for years and through good experience and bad, I always go back to the fact that hard work brings success. I did my test for the first time March 15 and I came out of the exam thinking that I failed but there was a little part of me held on to the belief that I nailed it. I did the PVT trick and lo and behold..THE GOOD POPUP! I was very elated and the next day I got my result PASS!!! Can you believe it? I am still jumping with joy! Good lick on finding a job.

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I am so proud of your accomplishments! I read every word that you wrote and found it really inspirational to my ears. You are a tough cookie!! What is for you in life will be for you...we may have some stumbling blocks in your way but those are there to make you stronger. May god bless you in your journey now as a RN.

Congrats!!!!!!:yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah:

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congratulations, im happy to hear this story, thank you for your time to tell all these.

You have healed my wound.:yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah:

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Wow you struggled alot more than most here who took the nclex exam. God's good all the time.

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CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! That must feel so exciting!! I failed my first try back in February and have been having a pity party for myself. You have just completely inspired me!!!! I am testing in a few weeks again and will be thinking of this story as I test!!!!!! Again, CONGRATULATIONS! You Did It!!!!! :yeah:

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Specializes in Peds/Geriatrics.

I had a long journey lots of bumps but that doesn't stop me, I knew God has plans for all of us!!Congratulations to you !!!

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Specializes in Peds/Geriatrics.

Thats 's true it did made me stronger than I've known, God has plans for all of us, we just have to believe on the gifts he bestowed upon us and he'll lead the way!- thank you and good luck in all you do!!

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Specializes in Peds/Geriatrics.

Just never give up believe on the gifts He gave you and surely He will lead you the way the stumbling blocks builds our strength- Glad to inspire future nurses, good things are not easy!! it;s worth the Climb!! :redbeathe Good luck in all you do and thank you!! I appreciate it this website is very suportive to everybody!!

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Specializes in Peds/Geriatrics.

You'll be fine!!, stay relax and focus!! I'll pray for you!! Good Luck and than you!!

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

God is Good!!!. Congrats this story is very inspirational. My mother who is very religious always told me that we have to work on God's time not our time, He was waiting for the right time for you to become an RN and I am so happy for you! Congrats again

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