Needing a day off (kinda long)

[PhillyKidRN]

Hi all... just wanting some feedback and opinions on a situation going on for me right now. I was offered a position as an RN in a hospital back in January. Shortly after I took the position, my brother informed me that he would be getting married on August 18 (next Friday). I called and told my nurse recruiter of the conflict and he told me he would note it, and that it shouldn't be a problem getting the day off, just to tell my unit when I started working. So I started last week working but the first 2 weeks are just Kaplan review courses for the NCLEX exam. It was a huge process trying to get past the nursing education coordinator who told me yesterday that I would be suspended for 2 weeks if I missed the half day computer class on Friday the 18th. I sent an email today to my unit's orientation coordinator explaining the situation and what the nursing ediucation person told me. I got a response from my unit asking me to call the coordinator today and then also I got an e-mail from the nursing education lady diplomatically saying I was lying and she didn't tell me I would be suspended. She then proceeded to send this email CC to ALL of my unit manager. Now mind you, I have yet to step foot on the unit to this point. So all this being said, when I talked to my unit today, I told her I am learning that this is a huge hassle for everyone and I would just go to the class and miss the wedding. She said no, that it wasn't a problem b/c I'm only on orientation, but I would have to make up that class and that I may miss some hours on the unit until I can make up the computer class. SO my question is, at this point, should I just forget about my brother's wedding and go to class that day? I mean I want a smooth transition and even though the unit coordinator told me this was in no way a negative reflection on me since I had told the as soon as i was hired that I had the wedding, i still feel really guilty. Any input?

[DDRN4me]

GO to the wedding. your family comes first. you told them as soon as you knew. missing a computer class should not be such a big deal. if it makes you feel better, offer to go in on a day off to make it up.

[MuddaMia]

Miss your brothers wedding? Ummmm...NO! Take the day off and enjoy yourself. Stop apologizing to others or feeling guilty. You told them--they can survive without you for a day!

You cant miss your brothers wedding, that would be terrible!

[fergus51]

Go to the wedding. You'd have to be nuts to miss such an important event in your brother's life just to attend a computer class for some job. Jobs are a dime a dozen in nursing. I understand you're a new grad and so this seems like a huge deal, but it really isn't. In 5 years you are going to look back on this nursing education woman and laugh that she ever had the power to stress you out like this.

PS

Hope you have a great time at the wedding! My brother's actually getting married that weekend too and there is no way I'm missing it.

[Otessa, BSN, RN]

do NOT miss your brother's wedding!!!!

Jobs will come and go .....family needs to come first ESPECIALLY during orientation!!!!

[Medic/Nurse, BSN, RN]

Ya warned 'em!

Now you gotta do, what you gotta do and that does NOT include that pesky little computer class.

The fact that you were "threatened" with suspension over such as issue would have had me heading for the door - right then - right there!

YOU will NEVER REGRET the time you spend with your family. COMMIT to doing the good stuff - I pray that you keep perspective and go for the good stuff! There will always be work to go to --- in the event your "employer" hadn't heard - there is a bit of a nursing shortage. I'm not advocating that you NOT work as part of a team and there will be sacrifices that you make for your job - but this is a wedding. And you warned 'em!

GO TO THE WEDDING! IF ITS A DEAL KILLER - OH WELL !!!

Good Luck.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

so my question is, at this point, should i just forget about my brother's wedding and go to class that day? i mean i want a smooth transition and even though the unit coordinator told me this was in no way a negative reflection on me since i had told the as soon as i was hired that i had the wedding, i still feel really guilty. any input?

go to the wedding. my sister didn't come to my wedding because she wanted to go skiing instead. that was in 1984, and i'm still angry about it when i think about it. she's thinking of remarrying, and i'm struggling with the question of what to do if she invites me to her second wedding! if you miss your brother's wedding, not only will you always regret it, but he may hold it against you for the rest of your natural life!

[Midwest4me]

Oh most definitely attend the wedding!!!!!!! FAMILY FIRST!

[catlady, BSN, RN]

I left work to go out of state to be at my dying father's bedside. He didn't expire quickly enough, I guess, because my employer started pushing me after a few days to come back to work. I went back and he died the next day without me. I will never erase that pain. As it happens, I ended up leaving that job six weeks later anyway.

Go, go, go to that wedding and never look back!

[vamedic4, EMT-P]

Sounds like you have a dilemma...not really...as with the others...I say emphatically...GO TO THE WEDDING. You'll never get another opportunity to be with your family on this particular occasion. Screw your employer, and their apparent lack of respect for you.

Funny how many employers think you should schedule your life around your job....

Enjoy the wedding.

vamedic4

Working a 1:1 tonight...

[LeahJet, ASN, RN]

GO to the wedding!

I know you want to start off on the right foot....but any place that will have you work and miss your brother's wedding..... they will bleed you dry. Trust me on this.

~~reminds me of a funny...but cynical....story. When my cousin and I were living in Albuquerque, she was trying to decide on going to her nephew's graduation in Seattle or another relative's wedding in Mississippi. She said (in all sincerity) "Well, you only graduate from high school once".