Need others point of view

[MY DOG SADIE]

My family has recently went through a difficult time. My husbands dad has a long history of copd. He has been on a vent 3 times in the past 10 years due to exacerbation (Sp?)copd. He does have periods of confusion d/t hypoexemia but nothing long term. He has had some hospitalizations recently d/t his breathing, the last one was very serious, resulting in the vent again. We have talked to him many times about his advance directives and he wants "everything" done. Of course the doctors basically tell us what we already know and that is being aggressive is only going to prevent the inevitable, but he has had decent quality of life and hasn't had to have real aggressive treatment for about 4 years until this past flare up. I can see their point of view but at the same time I feel we need to respect his wishes and see that everything is done. I feel like such a hypocrite though because I, myself have wondered why some families want let go...maybe this will make me a better, more understanding nurse in those situations now. What's your thoughts??

[Hands and Heart]

You'll just have to honor his wishes. Medical therapies can only keep a person going for so long. The body will have to stop eventually. But to be fair to him, I would honor his wishes. You are all in my prayers.

[chenoaspirit, ASN, RN]

I agree...I would honor his wishes. Its his body and he is the only one who will go thru what he will have to go thru. I always honor anyone's wishes when it comes to their living/dying.

[Pocahontas98_21]

If he is of sound mind, then u need to respect his wishes. And don't feel bad, he has is mind made up.

[RainDreamer, BSN, RN]

It's his choice.

[crb613, BSN, RN]

I say its his life quality or not.....his choice. My only thought would be to make sure he knows exactly what takes place if he is coded.

[rachinq]

i agree its his choice, so in other cases when it is the family holding its different...this is him actually holding on to his own life, and his family is just making sure that he gets his wishes respected.

[Jules A, MSN]

Yes you really do just have to honor his wishes. I always wonder about the quality of life of the family members who are their caregivers in these circumstances though. I have seen patients who refused to go to a nusing home and watched their elderly spouse decline while trying to provide full round the clock care.

[MY DOG SADIE]

Thanks to all that replied, that's how we feel also but just needed some reassurance I guess...:redbeathe

[CHATSDALE]

this is his life, you have to look at it from a patients point of view not a nurse

you probably think that you know what you would do if you were faced with death but until you are at that door you really don't know

when he reaches a point when he is ready to accept it then he will sign the papers until then help him to enjoy life as best he can

and then some people believe that dna means NO CARE

[TLCinCICU]

I agree with the rest of the posters in that his wishes must be respected. However, it is very likely that one day he will be unable to be weaned from a vent. Have you (as a family) discussed whether you would give or deny consent at that time to do the whole trach/peg thing? It's probable that he will be sedated to the point of being unable to make the decision for himself.