need an oncology nrs to help me c my husband

[thatldo]

I really need (please) an oncology nurse who has the time, and who could help me with questions concerning my husband who has liver ca, secondary.

Major health issues unrelated to CA for past 20years. RA, polymyositis, greenfield filter placed last year for blood clots, hx pneumonia, 3cm tumor removed last year from colon...

Extreme weakness ULE, not quite total assist, cannot transfer self, currently is in recliner 24/7, is experiencing skin breakdown coxyc area, which I'm applying carecream on.

Appetite decreased 80%, excessive sweating, (shirt, chair completely wet) is on prednizone 20mg q day, triam (diuretic) 25mg bid, stool softener program (has hx impaction)...trying to push fluids on him, but he is very tired, weak...urine is DARK orange. Pain med is morphine 15mg q 4h....had a scrip for time release 30mg bid, but uninsured, too expensive, hubby said don't worry about it, I'll do on what I have. ( I know sweating is SE of morphine, but EXCESSIVE)

His PP doctor is very surprised his oncologist is wanting to start chemo on him..due to his general health.

Drugs for chemo (which starts in 2days) are fluorourcil, irinotecan, and leucovorin.

I asked his oncologist, if Roy (husband) could handle this tx, she said yes, SE were minimal..so I said "so I can take him for the tx, bring him home, put him in his chair then go to work"?...Yes she answered....hmmmm I'M CONCERNED!

The oncologist nrs told me yesterday, diarrhea was a BIG SE.

Roy also has a 1x1/2 solid mass (ultra sound done) on his thyroid that PP believes is also CA, and oncologist says she is 90% sure unrelated to liver CA.

Soooo, endocronoligist apt on FRI am, and if he believes surgery is needed, we need to cancel chemo apt that afternoon.

I need some guidance!...I'm freaked out to say the least, I feel like no one is directing us in the right/correct path!

I asked the nrs yesterday what chemo tx is for, and its for palliative measures only.

When I voiced my concerns c the oncologist DR, about his poor health, hx, she answered c, "well I've had 2 pts whose liver tumors shrank"..I was stunned & should have asked "out of how many?" & were they the same stage as Roy"?

Liver is unoperable, largest tumor 8cm, both lobes.

c out chemo, DR says few mths, to less than a year.

I'M SORRY FOR RATTLING....I just need some guidance, like I mentioned, and you all are the pros. I haven't been a nurse long, (just since Mar of this year) & work in long term/subacute facility.

Seems like I have to pull teeth to get any answers!!

Nrs couldn't answer me when I asked if it was terminal or even what stage it was. (she had his chart in front of him).

Exactly how rough is his chemo tx going to be for him?????????

Can he do chemo c his health being the way it is???????

Am I/we doing the right thing here??????

When he had surgery last year for the colon CA, we had to wait 3wks, cuz he was anemic, and borderline malnourished, bloodwork that I see right now shows he is on that path again.

Will they look at his lab work again before chemo tx on FRI and realize this, or will it matter???????

I am my husbands advocate, his wife, caretaker. They discovered his colon CA last year only because when he was in the hospital for his PE and had the filter placed, then had bowel impaction they were going to dc him home.

I was in nrsing school then, and looking at the lab work which was drawn q day. I noticed his RBC cells were off the wall, brought it to the dr attention, and only then did they discover the colon CA.

That's why I'm hesitant.. are they giving me the best advice in his tx for his liver CA and the thyroid problem???

Please I know you all are the best/experts for helping me...I'll try not to be a pest.

I'm soon to be 49yrs, Roy is 59yrs, have 3 grown children, live on a ranch, family in another state, neighbors are Amish c no phone. I work 10min away (if I speed). I love animals, nature, and love to laugh, although that's been tough lately. Just some personal hx on myself incase one of you feel a connection c me.

You all are the best, I love being a nrs...

God bless,

Peace & love

Sherri

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

My dear friends....

Roy my beloved husband passed away the 16th of Oct, just 1week after coming home with hospice from the hospital.

He never got better, stronger, just weaker every day.

His last words to me 2days before he passed were "I love everything about you".

He passed so peacefully, eyes closed, his heart just stopped.

He had been nonresponsive for 2days,..I kissed him good night and told him how much I loved him, and like I had been telling him for a few days, not to worry about me, our boys were going to look out after me, and that I would see him again when GOD decided it was time, in heaven.

Looking back I can't believe I did what had to be done for him here at the house, but sooo glad, grateful that we had the choice for him to die here at home instead of the hospital.

My sister and niece were here and were absolutely amazing in helping me.

They are not nurses, and part of me was concerned about their reaction, but they handled the situation like pros.

The funeral was last Thursday, over 250 people came. Roy had a highway patrol escort to the cemetary, and the line of cars was over a mile long.

The output of love to me makes me so proud, but feel empty still, and I accept this although I hate it.

The kids were/are so great. They made a slide show for the service, and played it to George Straights song "I Cross My Heart".

My son-in-law stayed up to 330am one morning making up the programs.

My sister took off 2 weeks of work to be with me, handled everything for me,

and just took charge, what a blessing my family has been.

Roys good friend brought her horse to the cemetary, and had Roys chaps around the saddle horn.

The videos that I have, have been a GOD send. They were all of Roy when he was in good health..working/riding horses, playing with the kids..even one where I had video taped him singing in the shower...it feels so good to watch them, and to know this is how he is now...strong with his body back with no sickness.

I dreamt he "scooped" me up, and hugged me tight and rocked me back and forth. Thank you Roy for this "new" memory.

My dear friends, this was a hard letter to write to you all, I find it very very hard when I stop and realize that I'm a widow at the age of 49.

GOD has blessed me, I'll always treasure the time Roy and I had together.

Thank you all again, I can't say enough for your kind, compassionate words to me.

Love/peace,

Sherri

Dear sweet Sherri,

What a love story you shared with us. I am humbled, and thankful for that. It is and always will remain in my heart. God will take care of you. You have my condolences and blessings. Carry on dear. Roy would want you to until it's time for you to join him again. I love you ((((((sherri)))))):kiss

[skislalom]

My dear friends....

Roy my beloved husband passed away the 16th of Oct, just 1week after His last words to me 2days before he passed were "I love everything about you".

Love/peace,

Sherri

Sherri, you sound like a very amazing lady full of love and strength. My heart goes out to you as you mourn the loss of your husband, I am so sorry.

It sounds as if you have a good support network and that the services were every bit as wonderful as Roy was. May the love you shared continue to bring you comfort in the days ahead.

~T

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

Roy and you were so very lucky to share a wonderful love...I'm sure Roy will always look down upon you with a smile on his face. Take care of yourself...judi

[jemb]

Bless you, Sherri. May you find peace in your memories.

[beckymcrn]

(((((((Sherry,)))))))

My thoughts and rayers are with you in your time of loss. May the memories of your husband be a blanket to wrap around you on a cold and lonley day.

[leslie :-D]

(((oh sherry)))

i cried when i read your lovely tribute to roy.

what a blessing that he had you too ensure his comfort physically,

emotionally and spiritually.

now it's time to take care of you.

let others pamper and love you.

allow yourself to grieve.

continue to talk with roy every day of your life.

and finally, do give time a chance.

my heart aches for you.

with love and faith,

leslie xo

[avahsmiles]

May God bless & comfort you and your family during this difficult time. Your husband sounded like a really wonderful man. Please take comfort in knowing that you were caring, loving & supportive right up until the end. You have an angel waiting for you in heaven.

My deepest sympathies.

{{{hugs sherri}}}

[avahsmiles]

May God bless & comfort you and your family during this difficult time. Your husband sounded like a really wonderful man. Please take comfort in knowing that you were caring, loving & supportive right up until the end. You have an angel waiting for you in heaven.

My deepest sympathies.

{{{hugs sherri}}}

[mlynn]

Sherri,

May God bless you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I started reading this thread because I am an RN with Hospice and I was truly touched by your posts. There are so many people in this world that never find true love and it sounds as if you and Roy had it. My prayers are also with your sons at this difficult time.

[mlynn]

Sherri,

May God bless you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I started reading this thread because I am an RN with Hospice and I was truly touched by your posts. There are so many people in this world that never find true love and it sounds as if you and Roy had it. My prayers are also with your sons at this difficult time.

[anniev]

I just read your story Sherry It is amazing you shared so much I cried when I read the ending you, are an amazing lady, I hope all is well for you now. Your dear Roy at peace 2+ years ago.