Need advice from experienced nurses

Nurses General Nursing


Ok, here is the situation.I am in the middle of a big mess and not sure what to do. Sorry this is long.

I applied to a hospital because of their reputation for training new grads. I interviewed for that program. They decided they are going to try something new with me, as all the spots were filled in the ng program I wanted. I should have run for the hills! It is not working. I have been with the same preceptor for the first few weeks(she has not worked with new grads and this is her first time precepting but she seemed very nice.) I thought it was going ok. Then one day I was put with someone who has trained new grads before for just one day. That one day was extremely difficult, as I realized I may not be getting training I need. It seems a lot of what I am learning is incorrect. Some things I was expected to already know how to do I had never seen or heard menetioned before. And the things I had learned, are just wrong. So this second preceptor told the director that I am not where I should be, and told her all the things I had learned incorrectly (mostly documentation and med stuff) She told this all to the director.

Now at this point, the director pulled my preceptor in her office and the preceptor told her it is all me. I am not learning things fast enough and basically I suck at life. So now director thinks I am being taught correctly but I just suck.

So now I am back with preceptor one, who now hates me, thinks I got her in trouble and now she is determined to make me quit. She has done nothing but berate me loudly, tell me how much I suck, and how she knows I am not going to make it anyway. I mean literally for the last few days this has gone on all day. It makes me so nervous I am actually getting worse, making mistakes I have never made and dropping everything.

Here are my options:

Quit- This feels like 7th grade crap, but ng jobs are hard to come by

Tell director I want someone new, to see if I do better (without saying why)

Tell director what is actually going on - then I look like a trouble maker

Ask to go to nights & train there?

Ask for a different unit?

Specializes in Pediatrics.

I would ask for a new preceptor. You don't have to go into too much detail, just tell your manager it doesn't seem to be a good fit. Did you like the preceptor you were with that one day; is he/she available?

Be concrete. Tell her A told you this, B said it was that, item by item. Now look your list over and see if this is sufficient to justify a request to change preceptors. If so, you're good to go. Take the list to the boss.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I'm not an experienced nurse, but, I do have an opinion. I think you should talk to the director, tell him/her exactly what is going on-make sure to be precise without putting blame on anyone, admit your faults and willingness to learn. The best advice I can give, which I had to learn myself when working with others is, you are not working FOR your co-workers! They didn't hire you therefore they CAN'T fire you!! Go to work everyday with a positive attitude (although it may be challenging to do so in that type of enviroment). Remain focused on why you became a nurse. You are a new nurse. It's okay make mistakes, as long as you learn from them. Don't allow anyone to bully you. It may be useful to schedule a meeting with your director and preceptor so everything will be out in the open and dealt with- no he said she said. Bullying in the work place should not be tolerated, stand up for yourself. If you quit, you will end up regretting years later that you allowed someone else to take away a blessing that they didn't even give. I hope everything works out for you in the end. Focus on you and not them and all will be gravyyy :-)

Oh, and yes to a new preceptor. The current is clearly a butthole..smh!

Yes I like the be frank, like anonymurse says have a list of "A says, B says" and that you immediately felt you were studying the "wrong book" and were alarmed and feel you need to try to remedy this right away.

Intuition is right, you are no dummy. Whomever nurse B is she is some kind of nutcase, and the sooner you two part the better. Go for it and try your best to get yourself out of the mess. You're feeling that you have to fight to keep your job, then do it. At least you will know you tried your best to change your path.

Here is sending strength to you, and sending UNDERSTANDING AND GOOD MANAGEMENT ABILITY to your management.

I would say ask to work nights. I know you don't want to seem like a trouble maker but its not fair to you. Don't quit because that's want the preceptor wants you to do.

Bullies are so dern clever! Sometimes they work in teams. Get out! Your worth more than that as you so aptly described, '7th grade' mess, unless of course, the director actually listens to you. I have a feeling the director will do nothing or this kind of bullying wouldn't be going on in the first place. He/she may be the grand enabler! It's like a gang bully thing. I hope I'm wrong but this kind of thing sounds like where I used to work for 17 years, 4 in the bully clinic. I watched so many come and go and I tried not to 'give up". I loved my actual work! It wasn't worth my health or my resume in the end~4 years of bullying and passive-aggressive team backstabbing! Yes, I had friends at work but we never really hung out after hours like the bully group did. In the end I even found out a couple RN's, one still on orientation and the other head of the dept.'s nurse, with nothing better to do with their weekend, had fun working on my eval together, making up unmeasurable snotty comments, how professional, huh? They were probably getting paid for all I know. She could do whatever, extra long lunch breaks, etc. If your manager does nothing get out of her area all together as quick as you can!

Ruunnn, Forrest, runnnn!!!!!:hrnsmlys::hug::redbeathe:twocents:

Specializes in Critical Care, Nsg QA.

If you want to remain employed at the facility you need to be assertive. Go to the director (or whoever is ultimately responsible for your training) and explain you don't feel you are getting the opportunities you need to learn. Have some objectives in writing that you feel you need to reach to be sucessful. Try to get placed with the second preceptor - provided you two can work together. The first preceptor is not experienced enough to work with you.

Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

OP has a right to be provided with the 'blueprint' for orientation which includes all checklists, protocols, guidelines, deadlines, timelines for completion, etc. that will be used to evaluate performance. Orientation programs, especially for new grads, should not be left up to the opinions of a single preceptor or affected by personality issues. This is not only a very negative situation for new hires, but also makes the employer much more vulnerable to legal actions by terminated employees.

It is very important to have everyone on the same page, and this can only be managed by having formally established (written) performance objectives. Orientees can then compare their own performance to the pre-determined criteria and work with their preceptor and supervisor to correct any variances.

If the OPs employer cannot provide this level of clarity, then it is probably best to leave and seek work in a more organized and supportive environment.

Specializes in PICU.

I agree with the advice to go to your manager (or in my unit's case, the educator) and state that you'd like to try to work with someone else. It's always good to spend time with different nurses anyway, everyone has their strengths. Say that spending time with preceptor #2 exposed some areas that you need to work on. I would phrase things positively, that you are taking an initiative to learn and grow. Be very careful with the negatives and as others said, phrase them as concretely as possible so it's not a judgement on your part. Just statin' the facts, ma'am.

Good luck and hang in there!

Specializes in Home health was tops, 2nd was L&D.

Absolutely, go to manager, have example written to refer to if needed. Simply request another preceptor who is qualified and WILLING to work with you not against you. If not availab;le ask to train on a different unit. If asked why explains examples of wrong info being given to you, stat you feel you are be set up to fail. Make sure you get your needs and willingness to workand desire for professionalism. Best of luck

I asked for someone new, the director didnt even ask why, she just sighed and said she would see what she can do with the schedule. I think she prob knows what is going on, but I feel like no matter how it plays out, I am the new person and I look like the problem. I dont know if she has heard anything or not about how I have been treated.

I am also looking for another position, I am not quitting- they are going to have to fire me. Unless I get another job then I am OUT!

So now the question is, do I just leave it off my resume and explain in person that it was not a good fit, ot put it on my resume and have them wondering why I am leaving so soon, without having a chance to explain.

I am leaning towards leaving it off & explaining in person.What do you think?

+ Add a Comment