Name that part. Words patients use for their own anatomy.

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Ever searched in a patients' room for what you thought she said she needed to "watch her pocketbook" , she staring at you and you staring at her. Then finally saying, mam what color is your pocketbook because I don't see a pocket book here. Only to have her say, no get my washtub out of the drawer, my washcloth and soap. I always like to wash my pocketbook before I go anywhere. Especially down for tests. And close that curtain, too. Then you say, Oh. ;)

Specializes in Psychiatry.

I had a female client ask me to help clean her "who haa", which was code for the perineal area. I just about rolled over laughing :)

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Specializes in MS/Tele/Urgent Care.

had a young ob pt who wondered if her baby was going to come out of her "butt in the front":rolleyes: :roll, since that is where her boyfriend had put his "winkie"!! i had to step out of the room to avoid laughing in front of her!!:lol2:

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A Elderly Male patient of mine, who was convinced that he was not hard of hearing it was the rest of the populated world who had the softest voices ever known.

One morning, he " whispered" (yelled) to me and staff." Today, I am not wearing my drawers (southern word for pants or underwear) so my hang me downs can breathe and get some air"

( Did I miss the memo....... they can breathe now?)

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This is hysterical!

I'm not a nurse, or even a pre-nurse (yet), but I have to throw in here.

My father-in-law refers to the "how d'ya call it" when speaking of the member.

One of my husband's colorful phrases is Heat Seeking Moisture Missile!:nono:

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When assisting a female in the shower, she said that I could wash her back, she would take care of her 'bush'.

Have heard member called a 'ding-dong' and 'ding-a-ling'.

:rotfl:

Reminds me of that old song "Won't you play with my ding-a-ling"

http://www.lyricsdepot.com/chuck-berry/my-ding-a-ling.html:Melody: :roll

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I had a patient who asked me

"Does the size of your prostate have anything to do with the size of your wang dang?"

He had an enlarged prostate.

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Not from a patient, but we have a CNA who...bless her...isn't very swift. She does her job and is sweet as can be, but...you get the idea.

One of our patients had cervical cancer, with quite a lot of pain in that general area. On the flowsheet where the CNA was charting pain score/location/quality/associated symptoms, she charted that the woman had pain 6/10 in her fojimer. No lie. Fojimer.

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Fojimer?

Not from a patient, but we have a CNA who...bless her...isn't very swift. She does her job and is sweet as can be, but...you get the idea.

One of our patients had cervical cancer, with quite a lot of pain in that general area. On the flowsheet where the CNA was charting pain score/location/quality/associated symptoms, she charted that the woman had pain 6/10 in her fojimer. No lie. Fojimer.

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Specializes in Utilization Management.
Fojimer?

No, no honey. Say it like this:

fo-JI-mer

--long "i" sound.

Then say it fast a few times.

:lol2:

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lol

No, no honey. Say it like this:

fo-JI-mer

--long "i" sound.

Then say it fast a few times.

:lol2:

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

I recently took care of an elderly gentleman who was fixated on his genitalia, he talked a great deal about his "John Henry". Later that day, we had an ER nurse bring us a pt and after giving report, asked if he could get someone's "John Henry" on the form. The poor nurse had no idea why we all doubled over laughing....:)

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I've heard some ladies refer to their breasts as "the girls" or "my girls" as in, "I need to wash my girls."

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