Name that part. Words patients use for their own anatomy.

[JEHORAPHA]

Ever searched in a patients' room for what you thought she said she needed to "watch her pocketbook" , she staring at you and you staring at her. Then finally saying, mam what color is your pocketbook because I don't see a pocket book here. Only to have her say, no get my washtub out of the drawer, my washcloth and soap. I always like to wash my pocketbook before I go anywhere. Especially down for tests. And close that curtain, too. Then you say, Oh.

[ChevRN]

I know someone who refers to his wife's lady parts as her "teddy bear"!

[JohnBearPA]

I have gotten such a laugh out of this thread!!!! So, I thought I would add a little to the pot.

I had a patient once, older lady, who called her genitalia her "kitty kat". I was helping her bathe and she said "Can't forget to wash the kitty kat"......oh my.

Many years ago, in a personal care home, I had a lady that called it the same thing. However, with an advanced state of dimentia, she was constantly going around asking if people wanted to see and pet her "kitty kat". Thankfully, most refused. Staff thought perhaps she was fond of felines, and we all bought her stuffed cats, t-shirts with cats on them, etc, since she had no living family to visit her or befriend her.

Imagine my surprise when at a party where staff, their guests, family members of residents, and a few community officials were in attendance, she proceeded to ask this question of the mayor of this small town, and when he (not knowing she didn't own a cat) said "sure, where is the little kitty", she proceeded to drop her pants and show him, spreading her rather large vulva for all to see! I've never seen so many red faces in one room at the same time before or since. Also, it got totally silent, until the resident began hysterically laughing, and pulled her pants back up, saying "i gotcha'" to all in attendance. Seems the old bird had a momentary period of semi-lucidity, thought the mayor was a hottie, and laughed about the joke she played on him!

[JohnBearPA]

:chuckle Mmmm, funny!! :chuckle

During my CNA clinicals, I was giving one lady in a nursing home a shower when she asked me to wash her "sisters" as well. I didn't know what in the world she was talking about, and wondered if she perhaps had a touch of dementia, when she finally clarified. Her "sisters" were her breasts! My fellow student and I thought it was so cute, and so whenever some sweet old lady asks me to clean that particular area, I can't help but think of them as her "sisters"! :rotfl:

ROFLOL

reminds me of the song in the movie "White Christmas",,,,,, sisters, sisters,,,,,,, God bless the mister, that comes between me and my sister, and God bless the sister, that comes between me and my man!

[ayla2004, ASN, RN]

UK

Familly allowace, familly jewels= male gentilia

most horribe version if heard is axe wound for the outer labia

the first due to the parents of every UK child get same weekly sum to cover basic nappy, bottles food etc

a bloke getting kicked in said area would lose his familly allowance

(its only paid to mum's though)

[lvs2nrs3535]

My favorite is not actually a term for the genitals, but a term for what a patient once told me was a "whores bath". My mom takes a shower every morning, but after work, she doesnt feel 'fresh', so she does a PTA. No time for a shower, so you wash up your pits, tits, and ass, hence the PTA. (no mention of the lady parts here, although of course that was washed too!). My 84 year old grandmother now lives with my mom, and mom would say, I am going to do a quick PTA before we go out. Well, my 84 year old grandmother started to use the term. She did so for about a year, right up until my mom explained what it meant!!! My grandmother turned bright red, she was so mad! (I think she thought it meant washing your face and touching up your makeup) Needless to say, no one talks about PTA's at my moms house anymore. :lol2:

[Jo Dirt]

I heard a man talking about his "wang dang"...didn't need clarification for that one.

A woman used to tell us not to forget to wash "goosey lucy"...no clarification needed for that one, either.

[gymjunkie]

Kids say the funniest things. "Boys have willies and girls have squashed willies".:lol_hitti

[nursecave]

We have a nurse who works with us on Mother Baby after having worked Labor and Delivery for 20 years or so. Her name is Mary Jane, but she goes by Jane. She was telling us the other day about having a patient in L&D who kept saying she had pressure in her "Mary Jane", meaning she felt pressure in her lady parts. Jane said it was she could do to keep from laughing in front of the patient. She also didn't tell the lady that was her name either!

[JaxiaKiley]

A friend says 'poone dune' instead of lady parts.

/boggle

[NurseyTee]

I heard one patient call her female genitals a yoo-hoo. I thought that one was strange. Even more stranger was the word "Front heiny" for the female part. I guess to differentiate between it and the Back heiny????? :rotfl:

[jenn_rn_nj]

I work in a peds ED and the parents have to fill out a slip with the complaint - the most common anatomical mis-reference I've seen is: Virginia = lady parts, eg. "pain in virginia".

We get a ton more interesting interpretations of illness, too - mostly just phonetic misspellings it seems.

[analee23]

I work in a peds er too and I was talking to the child life specialist about this. She said she asks the parents what they call a child's privates so that she can properly explain procedures in the child's terms (straight caths, stuff like that). So she asks these parents of this little 4 year old girl and they state, "Oh, we call it her money maker!" YIKES! Do you want your daughter to be a prostitute??? I swear, some parent's just don't think.