:crying2:I am so sad, my sister is dying. don't want advice, just needed to tell someone who would understand. I couldn't make myself go, the nurse part of me knows exactly what they are doing. The sister side of me wants to say, noooooooooo. My wonderful, caring, supportive sister. The one I always went to when things didn't make sence. She hasn't spoken a word in 2 weeks. My heart is breaking. I've helped so many people over the years. Why can't I help her. I couldn't bare to be there when they shut off the vent, when they give her the morphine. Why didn't I have the strength to go hold her hand and tell her it's ok to go. I've done it for patients, why couldn't I do it for her? Sorry if I have babled, my heart is breaking. I am sitting here waiting for my brother in law to call and tell me it's over. I've wanted to tell all of you for a while now, but couldn't make myself type the words. I knew what was coming the first night, after they told me she coded and she was without oxygen for over 5 minutes, I knew what had happened. Thanks for reading, I can't see the keys from the tears. God Bless you all:redpinkhe
My father died yesterday morning about 6AM. He was in an assisted living place in MD. I'd spent about a week with him. I'm in OH. I just feel so bad to loose him but I know he's in a better place.
:crying2:I am so sad, my sister is dying. don't want advice, just needed to tell someone who would understand. I couldn't make myself go, the nurse part of me knows exactly what they are doing. The sister side of me wants to say, noooooooooo. My wonderful, caring, supportive sister. The one I always went to when things didn't make sence. She hasn't spoken a word in 2 weeks. My heart is breaking. I've helped so many people over the years. Why can't I help her. I couldn't bare to be there when they shut off the vent, when they give her the morphine. Why didn't I have the strength to go hold her hand and tell her it's ok to go. I've done it for patients, why couldn't I do it for her? Sorry if I have babled, my heart is breaking. I am sitting here waiting for my brother in law to call and tell me it's over. I've wanted to tell all of you for a while now, but couldn't make myself type the words. I knew what was coming the first night, after they told me she coded and she was without oxygen for over 5 minutes, I knew what had happened. Thanks for reading, I can't see the keys from the tears. God Bless you all:redpinkhe
My thoughts are with you and my hopes for a healing that will be soon.
Remember that no one can take away the memories and love that you have for your sister.
No one is going to judge you, for you are your own.
Specializes in NICU, PICU, PCVICU and peds oncology.
Your sister's last hours and days were far more distressing to you and to the others who love her than they were to her. Cold consolation, I know. My sympathies are with you and your family as you grieve.
This thread has made me think about how we as nurses often tell people that the person they're grieving knew how much they were loved. and maybe on some level that's true. But you know, sometimes it's really nice to hear the words. My family isn't a particularly close one; we've been scattered to the four winds for all of our adult lives and only get together once in a blue moon. Lately I've found myself telling them on the phone that I love them, even the sister who was always so rotten to me. My brother lives only a few miles from me and I rarely see him, but he too is told regularly that I love him. The first few times I said it, he looked uncomfortable, but now it's almost like he's waiting for it. That feels really good. Do you have someone who needs to hear the words?
The hardest thing I ever had to do in my life was stand by while my parents died, following their wishes that no heroics be attempted. They were the only family I had.
I owed it to them, though I can well understand how other people wouldn't be able to do it at the very end.
rastanursern, MSN
156 Posts
Sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.