My question is: Why are nurses so mean to each other?

[LadyJRN1]

Hello everyone!

I am not here to complain; however, I would like to vent just a little. I was recently let go from a job because my boss believed someone who was not an RN take a comment totally out of text and she believed them instead of me. I am surviving - however, my point is this: why do nurses have to sabatauge other nurses and make their lives miserable? I do have to say the meanest people I have ever met are in the field of nursing and it makes me wonder what good I actually do in this field. I have yet to find my nitch and have been an RN for 5 years now. Please write and tell me I am not the only nurse in the world who feels that she cannot trust anyone and that other nurses are so mean and nasty it makes what I do not seem worth it. Thanks for listening!

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

I haven't read the entire thread, but I wanted to throw in a couple of comments.

I have not experienced the "meanness" from other nurses that so many complain of. I have received nothing but support and encouragement from my fellow nurses since before I became one.

I worked as a CNA on the unit that I currently am an LPN on. The nurses there took me under their collective wing and cheered me on during my first year. When I got my LPN license and began working on this same unit as a nurse, again, my fellow nurses jumped in and helped me when I was sinking, patiently answered all of my questions, and gave me encouragement to keep going throughout my second year, and get to the finish line and get that RN. Even one nurse, who has been vocal that LPNs and new grads have no place on our unit, has been supportive of me as an individual nurse, maybe because I've proved her wrong and I've been an asset to that unit, or she sees me as an exception because I came up from the ranks. Regardless, I do not see her opinion, to which she is entitled and probably has a lot of experience behind it, as "mean". She's probably seen a lot of things that have led her to think what she thinks.

I know there is some backbiting that happens. That happens at *every* place of work, not just in nursing. This is my second career, and believe me, gossip was as much a staple in my previous line of work as it is today (and that was a male dominated profession), and men can contribute to gossip and rumor mongering as readily as women do.

I know that male aggression tends to be more physical, while female aggression tends to be more emotional. I don't believe that if you get a bunch of women together, the result will be gossiping, backbiting, and passive aggressive power plays. That's just plain insulting. In my opinion, the real reason you might see this kind of thing on the unit is if that is the culture that has been promoted. If the natural leaders on the unit (not necessarily managers; leaders do not always have formal power or authority, but rather, are people who influence others around them) promote a culture of teamwork, camaraderie, openness and accountability, then the culture will reflect those values.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

Wow - that is a great post!! :nmbrn:

[leslie :-D]

i worked as a cna on the unit that i currently am an lpn on. the nurses there took me under their collective wing and cheered me on during my first year. when i got my lpn license and began working on this same unit as a nurse, again, my fellow nurses jumped in and helped me when i was sinking, patiently answered all of my questions, and gave me encouragement to keep going throughout my second year, and get to the finish line and get that rn. even one nurse, who has been vocal that lpns and new grads have no place on our unit, has been supportive of me as an individual nurse, maybe because i've proved her wrong and i've been an asset to that unit, or she sees me as an exception because i came up from the ranks.

good post, nancy.

and truly, you are blessed to work in such a supportive environment.

regardless, i do not see her opinion, to which she is entitled and probably has a lot of experience behind it, as "mean". she's probably seen a lot of things that have led her to think what she thinks.

the above statement is very telling and important to remember:

that regardless of rank and file, ea and every one of us has a voice and also, an experience.

one's perspective is no more important/valuable than the other.

i know there is some backbiting that happens. that happens at *every* place of work, not just in nursing. this is my second career, and believe me, gossip was as much a staple in my previous line of work as it is today (and that was a male dominated profession), and men can contribute to gossip and rumor mongering as readily as women do.

i know that male aggression tends to be more physical, while female aggression tends to be more emotional. i don't believe that if you get a bunch of women together, the result will be gossiping, backbiting, and passive aggressive power plays. that's just plain insulting. in my opinion, the real reason you might see this kind of thing on the unit is if that is the culture that has been promoted. if the natural leaders on the unit (not necessarily managers; leaders do not always have formal power or authority, but rather, are people who influence others around them) promote a culture of teamwork, camaraderie, openness and accountability, then the culture will reflect those values.

i somewhat see what you're saying.

let's just say my experiences have been different.

to work in an environment of camaraderie and support, is truly an ideal.

i do think if mgmt had a zero tolerance policy of harrassment/bullying, employees would think twice about any uncivil behavior.

but as it stands, mgmt looks the other way, and even perpetuates the vicious cycle.

until one has experienced/witnessed these assaults, you just can't appreciate its abhorrent effects.

leslie

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

Leslie, I understand what you are saying, and I do count myself as very fortunate to be where I am.

[BradleyRN]

I truly hate to say this, but this is the thread that illuminates what is really going on here.... https://allnurses.com/forums/f22/rn-responsibilities-ltc-309085-2.html

LadyJRN1, please apologize for this....

[leslie :-D]

I truly hate to say this, but this is the thread that illuminates what is really going on here.... https://allnurses.com/forums/f22/rn-responsibilities-ltc-309085-2.html

LadyJRN1, please apologize for this....

bradley, while i do share your concerns, i don't think it's going to benefit anyone by requesting an apology.

i do think this is an issue that the op will have to deal with on her own time, arriving at her own conclusions.

it will take contemplation w/honest self-assessment.

and, it's not just about lpn's/aides that i noticed, but an overall disposition that could perceivably insult many.

i would suggest letting certain suggestions to sink in.

if she still feels that is a 'them' vs 'me', i'm sure she will continue in encountering problems in the workplace.

and that alone, will create havoc in her life...not fun at all.

leslie:twocents:

[juliemcd]

nurses, in my opinion, forget that there is ONE goal in mind... providing safe, caring services to our clients. We aren't in it only for ourselves, we are in it to provide care. Excellent care. Safe care. Continuity of care. period. THAT is the common goal.......so you would think.

How on earth could that be forgotten? I hope, as I become a more "seasoned" nurse, I will not forget this fundamental nursing practice. :) I have definately had my fair share of "client diverting" situations already in my young career. It perplexes me.

[eldragon]

I may have issues, but I am still accepted in society more as an RN than an LPN. RN's will always be held to a higher standard. This apparently upsets you.

What upsets me is your publicly displayed ignorance.

What world do you live in that you have to worry about being accepted into society based on your job title?

Until you look at people as individuals, you'll never be accepted in any environment.

[leslie :-D]

What upsets me is your publicly displayed ignorance.

What world do you live in that you have to worry about being accepted into society based on your job title?

Until you look at people as individuals, you'll never be accepted in any environment.

you bring up a valid point, eldragon...

that maybe op does come from a different society/culture.

if that is the case (and there are cultures where title is revered), then eventually she will learn human values based on individuals vs labels.

and isn't that what life is about?

ea of us is on a journey.

some learn faster than others.:)

leslie

[LadyJRN1]

What upsets me is your publicly displayed ignorance.

What world do you live in that you have to worry about being accepted into society based on your job title?

Until you look at people as individuals, you'll never be accepted in any environment.

I do view people as individuals; however, I do not hear you disagreeing that RN's are more accepted in society by people than LPN's. That is the point that I am trying to make.

[BradleyRN]

bradley, while i do share your concerns, i don't think it's going to benefit anyone by requesting an apology.

Leslie, An apology would display an ability to own up to errors. It may not change the opinions of those she offended (though i forgive her), but it would certainly start her on a road of acceptance that as you said, she is the problem. If i offended a bunch of people, i would want to apologize. Maybe she just didnt realize that she was talking to CNA's and LPN's about how she had no respect for CNA's and LPN's. I have crossed threads here, and maybe i shouldnt have, but they are truly interlaced. The OP has already alienated herself at her job, and i dont want the same thing to happen here, so i think she would benefit at least.

[eldragon]

I do view people as individuals; however, I do not hear you disagreeing that RN's are more accepted in society by people than LPN's. That is the point that I am trying to make.

Then let me be clear: I disagree with you. I was accepted in society before I became an LPN, and after.

If you do not believe CNA's and LPN's are accepted in society, I can't imagine how you view unemployed individuals.

Are you from India, by chance?

Or perhaps some other country that delegates persons into untouchable / acceptable categories?