My question is: Why are nurses so mean to each other?

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Hello everyone!

I am not here to complain; however, I would like to vent just a little. I was recently let go from a job because my boss believed someone who was not an RN take a comment totally out of text and she believed them instead of me. I am surviving - however, my point is this: why do nurses have to sabatauge other nurses and make their lives miserable? I do have to say the meanest people I have ever met are in the field of nursing and it makes me wonder what good I actually do in this field. I have yet to find my nitch and have been an RN for 5 years now. Please write and tell me I am not the only nurse in the world who feels that she cannot trust anyone and that other nurses are so mean and nasty it makes what I do not seem worth it. Thanks for listening!:D

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I believe it is women in general. We can be catty, mean-spirited and just plain nasty to each other. This is my second career. In my first one I worked in a male-dominated field and NEVER dealt with the ***** that I do now. I keep to myself at work, NEVER, NEVER talk about my personal life or get in on the gossip with staff. I really don't think it is just in nursing. When I go to work I am there for my patients; not to make a best friend. I will just not be a part of anything

that brings me down!:twocents:

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I am having a really hard time in this field trying to find my nitch and it just seems like there are employees who enjoy making your life miserable. Thanks for listening and writing back!

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Specializes in trauma, ortho, burns, plastic surgery.

Lady JRN, first of all let me to give you a hug. Will pass honey, I know that is not easy but in each and every carrier that you will go will be the same. IN nursing may be much more because nursing catch all women with or WITHOUT any fellings relating nursing. You will find here a lot of people who came and just for money or just because they want a comfortbale life with a social stable financial position...so good and bad characterial people, that is all!

Be your self and SET BOUNDARIES from the begining. Always you will be too traditional for ones or too gay for others, looooool, to conservative for ones or too wild for others, too dangerous smart for ones or too stupid for others, you could not satisfy them how much you will want so DON"T TRY. Be your self JUST A NURSE and if is not working...give up and find another job. Nice and bad people you will find all over... not let them to choose you, YOU rocks YOU choose!

Hugs again up girl, tell me when you find the place of your dreams! :yeah::yeah:

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Psych.

I had the same problems when working as a med/surg nurse in hospitals. I'm finding psych nursing to be different. You might try looking into other nursing areas to find your niche and to find a better environment.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho.

Unfortuantely i think it is how females are raised. Do men have beauty contests and have to compete with each other for accolades and attention. NO!!!!

We have to learn to change the male dominated atmosphere that created the mess in the first place. Then and only then will women be able to work together for the better of the whole group.

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Specializes in Medical Surgical.

I think one reason nurses are hateful to each other and backstab is that nursing is an oppressed group. We have to take whatever is dished out by so many different people: administration, physicians, patients, families, JCAHO. We dare not stand up to any of these people, so we have a lot of free-floating anxiety and hostility that gets turned on each other. Add to that the life and death situations and time pressures that are every day occurrences. It's hard to be pleasant and considerate of others when it's a big decision if you dare to try to eat a meal or sometimes even go to the bathroom.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Home Health.

I know what you mean. I am always going around asking other nurses "do you need any help?" or "Are you doing ok?" while one is always trying to get me into trouble or sabataging one of my patient's IV's by turning the pump off and not telling me. She will do/say anything to make herself look good and at the same time make others look bad. I dont understand it because I have never instigated it. I think there is that type of person in every career path...sadly.

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Specializes in Emergency Room.

i personally have not had any problems with getting along with other nurses but i do see people butt heads often. no more than any other non-nursing job i have had.

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I believe it is women in general. We can be catty, mean-spirited and just plain nasty to each other. This is my second career. In my first one I worked in a male-dominated field and NEVER dealt with the ***** that I do now. I keep to myself at work, NEVER, NEVER talk about my personal life or get in on the gossip with staff. I really don't think it is just in nursing. When I go to work I am there for my patients; not to make a best friend. I will just not be a part of anything

that brings me down!:twocents:

I think one reason nurses are hateful to each other and backstab is that nursing is an oppressed group. We have to take whatever is dished out by so many different people: administration, physicians, patients, families, JCAHO. We dare not stand up to any of these people, so we have a lot of free-floating anxiety and hostility that gets turned on each other. Add to that the life and death situations and time pressures that are every day occurrences. It's hard to be pleasant and considerate of others when it's a big decision if you dare to try to eat a meal or sometimes even go to the bathroom.

contextually, i pretty much agree w/above posts.

females have not been raised/encouraged to be assertive.

if anything many of us have been taught not to make waves and to actually be submissive.

combine these qualities w/high-stress situations, anxiety and frustration results in a plethora of erratic behavior...

anywhere from the searing passive-aggressive backstab to the more voluminous, blatant contempt.

and let's not forget all that drama.

(ugh)

i don't see it changing anytime soon either.

and not to sound trite, but this is what happens when you get a bunch of females together.

i've known this for 40 yrs.

keep to yourself.

cya at all times.

maintain your standards and ethics.

and don't take any flippin' crap from anyone.

yes, you can maintain civility and still refuse to be anyone's target.

people can sense when you mean business.

i'm sorry you're just learning about this stuff now.

stay strong and remain true to yourself and your pts.

best of everything.

leslie

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Its a shame, why for petes sakes cant we all getalong are we not a sisterhood of caring. Florence Nightengale where are you ? Earles got it right on the ball very wise advice.

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Lady JRN1,

Have you ever tried to work in a nursing area that has more men present? Areas like ER and Cath lab and OR tend to have more male nurses, and while I am not trying to stereotype, it seems like the presence of the male gender decreases some of the cattiness that can be so negative and destructive.

Maybe your niche is in one of these areas?

I am an ER nurse and there is some of that, but not anywhere near what you speak of. It is much more team oriented and I can always rely on my fellow nurses. They are mostly professional people who are proud to be nurses and I can not ever imagine one sabatoging me! Occasional cattiness, but that is not the rule.

Just a thought!

Good Luck

:twocents: Kim

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