My orientator talked bad about me behind my back

ukstudent · Jul 4, 2008

Being a new nurse is a difficult time. You are coming from a system that has to teach you the nclex way of doing things ( in order for you to pass the nclex) to the real world way of doing things.

There are short cuts that don't hurt pt's and there are short cuts that can and do hurt pts. Is what your preceptor telling you to do hurting pts?

Orientation time is ALL about learning time management and finding those short cuts. There is not enough time given for a nurse to practice at the same level that school teaches and still carry the patient work load that the hospital will give you.

So the important question is, is your preceptor a safe nurse? If she is, than learn from her, if not ask for a new preceptor.

As for her talking to others on the staff about you, I am sure she is being asked. The others on the staff will have noticed if you are taking less pt's than other new grads at the same week of orientation, or if you are getting out late, etc. If she is saying things about you that are not true then you need to bring it up with management.

Good luck in your continued orientation. Reality shock of hospital nursing can be severe.

cardiacRN2006, ADN, RN · Jul 4, 2008

You do what you have to do to survive orientation. When you are on your own, you do things the way you feel is right. Leave this battle in orientation. You can't change the way that nurse performs and you can't control what she says about you.

Personally, I hate it when experienced nurses bash new grads or students. It speaks volumes of them. So know that when she is speaking ill of you to other nurses, that they probably see fault in her, not you.

Just make it through orientation and you will be fine.

MIcrunchyRN · Jul 4, 2008

First off you checking twice and armbands is safe!!! You don't want to loose that or you'll make big mistakes. A girl I graduated with lost her license within 6 months of hire because of a HUGE med error she made rushing something. The patient died because of her mistake. So in NO WAY change your med passing habits, that's your butt on the line if you screw up. So what it takes you a little longer your being safe that extra minute or two your taking could mean someone's life. As for the other stuff with orientation try and learn from her tricks that are safe she does offer some great knowledge but if it doesn't work for you then just tell her you feel more comfortable one way. If all else fails bring it up to your manager and get a new person to orient you.

Good luck and hang in there.

*ac* · Jul 4, 2008

Orientation seems like hazing sometimes. I hated it.

Yes, people/nurses talk behind each others' backs. Yes, it's unprofessional. Yes, you probably have to put up with it and just get through it.

Orientation is like school, you just have to get through it. You had some lousy teachers, right? You will also have lousy preceptors.

Here's what I've noticed: You won't get fired for being too safe/too slow. What usually happens is the person gets more time on orientation until they can keep up, or worst case, they get offered a transfer.

Good luck, it won't last forever.

SoundofMusic · Jul 6, 2008

When people gossip, I always think of it as they are too weak to be able to say the very thing to the person's face that they're talking about to others. I don't care one whit about what any nurse thinks of me -- I do care what the managers think, though -- as they do control whether I work there or not.

If there was something going on, I'd confront her about it -- ask her exactly what you were doing that was so wrong. Make her "prove" her point and get her to show you the right way, maybe have another nurse back her up or whatever. You are entitled to a proper demonstration of whatever it is your'e learning at least.

But all nurses do things differently. What matters is pt safety and of course, getting it all done by the end of the shift somehow and not passing too much onto the next shift.

We have gossipers -- and I'm sure they've gossiped about me enough. But they next day it's all over and they're usually forgetting about it and we all move on. It's usually all small potatoes. Sometimes if you just forge on ahead despite the gossiping, hold your head high, etc. they come to respect you in the long run.

southernbelle08 · Jul 6, 2008

Orientation IS a rough time, but you do what you do to make the best of it.

I can take or leave my preceptor most of the time, but she has been a nurse for 25+ years, she is good at what she does, and I know I can learn countless things from her. She is aggravating at times, and she can really get on my nerves - but I just try to think of the bigger picture. The majority of the time she and I make a very good team, but we're human, so we do clash every so often.

I'm sure she says things about me, and I know I think things about her, but one day I pray I'll look back and see how she helped me and got me to where I am trying to be. My suggestion is to talk to her, adult to adult, and see if any of these things can be resolved. Sometimes it is as simple as a misunderstanding, so if you feel comfortable enough - I'd just as her if you could talk.

GL!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jul 7, 2008

i don't know what to do about this situation so i thought i would write on here and see were it goes. i am working on a med-surg unit and being orientated by several different people. the first lady was very nice and allowed me to learn at my own pace and choose my own style. the second lady seemed a little more annoyed at my instance on doing things right regardless of how quick i got them done after all i am a brand new nurse. the second lady is attempting to mold me into her. she makes me write things how she does them and then says when i try to do it my way "you aren't going to do it like that it takes too much time, you are going to learn to do it this way". i have several instances where her unprofessional was unexceptionable to me, but when i heard talk about me behind my back about how slow i am giving meds (because i check them twice and check their id band) i couldn't eat lunch and was so upset that i cried about 1/2 the rest of the day. so what do i do now? i don't have bad feelings towards her, i know everyone can't get along, but i don't want to continue feeling like i'm being forced to modify myself in ways i don't agree with. any suggestions? thanks![/quote']
i'll second what everyone else is telling you. if your preceptor is a safe practitioner, she's probably trying to teach you some time management skills which, as a new grad, you really really need to learn. so learn from her. unless her practice is unsafe, you don't have anything to gain by insisting upon doing things your own way, and much to lose. and do you really think you know more than the experienced nurse who is precepting you?

as far as "talking about you behind your back," that's part of the job of precepting. as a preceptor, i have an obligation to talk to the manager and assistant managers, the staff educators and other preceptors about how my orientee is doing. what are their strengths, what are their weaknesses, what is their learning style and what is holding them back from being on track. it sounds like talking about your being slow passing meds was well within your preceptor's responsibilities as a preceptor.

now if she were telling everyone that you're too stupid for words, that your morals suck or that your deoderant gives out by 10am, that would be unprofessional.