My nursing job give me stress, worry and lost my mine

[HNursing]

Hi everyone and thanks to the people who are going to respond to my story,

I just graduated and took the NCLEX exam 5 months ago. I got hired into this new nursing job. I thought I will learn a lot and will have some great experience in this floor. I got hired right after the interview and I thought they like me even I totally honest with them that I do not have any experience at all and I graduated in a one year college. My nursing educator was nice, but really busy. I almost finish my 3 months orientation and only see her like 2 times. I had a preceptor in my first week. In my first day I did wrong medication error and then she help me how to solve the problem. I was glad and learn it. Then she did not go over what type of things I need to work on or ask me what is my opinion on how to improve myself. Second week, I had another preceptor. I thought she will be nice to me as my first preceptor. My first week with her I almost lost my confident and cried every night. She asked me how do I know someone with DVT. I told her that homan sign will tell you and then she asked what screen will tell you. I told her I do not know. Really honest, I did not know. She told me that ultrasound. Up to this point this is great and I learn something new. Then she told me how I pass my NCLEX, how I pass my english class because she said that I had bad grammar and sentence structure. I felt so bad and I was about to cry in that floor that day. I couldn't believe people are that mean. She told me that my first preceptor told her that I did a wrong medication mistake and I did one for her as well. I did a wrong medication mistake with insulin. They have some new injection and I make a biggest mistake I ever done. I did not done something like that in school at all. I was always so good in my medication at school. In this floor, I was constantly busy with 5-6 patients. One discharge and then one admission. Sometimes, two discharge and two admissions. We had really high acuity and hospice patients. My perceptor will turn around and started to talk to other nurses about me like things I do not know and things that I had done wrong. Which make me feel that really unhappy because I was still there just in another corner and she thought I was not there and start talking about me.

I felt so incompetent in that floor compared to everyone who already work there for like 15+ years of medical experience. They told me that I just need to critical think and experience should nothing to do with critical thinking.

I know I should call the doctor when I saw something is wrong, it is really busy and I need to catch up with the medication and then patients call the pain medication every hour or two.

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

I am sorry that you have not been received. All of us walk in green behind the ears and without confidence as new nurses with nothing to pull from regarding experience. And, it was not too nice to make comments about your grammar, either. I hope that not everyone is treating you this way. Sending positive thoughts in your direction!

[NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN]

I not a new grad yet, but I wanted to send hugs and kisses your way and give you some encouragement.

My instructor told me that critical thinking does come with time and experience. Nursing school barely touch the surface of nursing in the real world. Just hang in there and do your best.

Now about the Homan's sign: Forgive me if I'm wrong, but according to my CI and Evidenced Based Practice we are not supposed to do or use homans sign as an indicator for DVT. If the patient did have a blood clot doing homan's sign can actually dislodge the blood clot and cause further complications. Homan's sign is used often, however it is not a reliable sign because it is not specific for DVT.

For DVT you would mainly assess for pain, warmth, redness/ inflammation, edema.

Well I hope this helps and Good luck, you seem to be a good nurse to me.

[HNursing]

Thanks your guys emotional support.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

If my preceptor had talked about me with me listening I would have sat down and cried. With any luck you'll have someone better next week.

[BEDPAN76]

Hi HNursing, My heart goes out to you! :heartbeatYou sound like a very caring and conscientious young nurse. Keep your chin up and hope that you get a better and kinder preceptor. If not, you may need to look for another job. Some people, by throwing others "under the bus" think they are "smarter" or "more professional". NOT TRUE! They were once new nurses, too. Let us know how things are going for you. Sending a big hug your way!

[RedhairedNurse, BSN, RN]

Hang in there, it will get better for you. It's very stressful during orientation. I wanted to quit so bad. Since I've been on my own, it's much better.

[DeLana_RN, BSN, RN]

So sorry to hear this, unfortunately nurses still eat their young (and their own) I know, it happened to me as well (in each of my jobs in nursing, but especially in my first).

Please believe me, it's not you, it's your "preceptors" who have the problem. Experience (and critical thinking) comes with... well, time. They know that, or should know that. But they were probably treated this way as new nurses, and sadly, pass it on. Shame on them.

We have all made med errors, as new grads and as experienced nurses as well. But especially as new grads! There is no shame in this, only if you try to cover it up. As for talking about you - in your presence, or without - there is absolutely no excuse for this, ever. Unfortunately, it happens (to me as well.)

Hang in there, it will get better. You may try talking to a sympathetic nurse on your floor (there usually are some, but they may have been told not to interfere with the "precepting". However, if you approach them, they will be supportive. I wouldn't have made it without such wonderful nurses!)

Wishing you the very best,

DeLana :icon_hug:

[HNursing]

Thanks everyone for so supporting,

I quit the job. Well, not welling to quit, but they only give that option to me. They wait until my preceptor not there and my manager told me in front of this other lady what I did wrong and nothing great about me. I was really upset because he only listen to one side of the story. All he said were things that I listed up there. That like one month ago and then he told me that he told someone to evaluated me and I did not described my patient well. I was so almost argued with him, but then I felt it is all right because he already want to fire you when he welling to listen to your problem. If these people welling to listen to your problem. They already help you long time ago. I am so unhappy. It is my first job and I thought I can support my family with this job. It felt really harsh and he told me that I can not apply for job in the system.

But I still want thanks so much for everyone who so supportive and understanding of me. I am glad there are nice people out there. Just wish I can find a job soon before the medical bill comes. Then deal with some out side stress from family of my side and my fiance's side. All I can said I went into a really bad environment, but in that really bad environment I learn something and there are really nice patients who love me and bring me present.