THEY ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! (sorry.. having one of those days)
maybe because my hubby is gone (week #1 out of 5 mos).
maybe because they are only 2 and 5 yrs old.
maybe because Im too scared to beat the tar out of them in public
Tell ya what, I came close to tonight... Took my two "angels" out for pizza for dinner. As soon as the door opened to go inside, they take off running inside. Running toward the video games, I calmly tell them "no, lets wait untill after we eat". The 2 yr old is already sitting at the race car game, when my 5 yr old SHOVES her out of the seat. Both are screaming bloody murder. I swear everyone at Pizza Inn stopped and stared...
Then... I get a table, wrangled the angels up... and attempt to put the 2 yr old in a high chair. She starts screaming AGAIN! Legs spread wide open, flairing around. Refuses to sit in the chair. She wants to sit in the real chair. No big deal youd think, but she wont sit there either. She constantly gets up and runs around. Hence the need to STRAP HER DOWN.
She still refuses, so I give in (tired of making a scene). She takes one bite of pizza, and starts running around the table in circles. Im PLEADING with her to please sit and eat. MORE SCREAMING!
UGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! My 5 yr old just sits there and laughs. I felt like crying. Completley lost my appitite, start nagging the 5 yr old to hurry and eat so we can leave. I am completely embarrased by now. Felt like crawling under the table. Complete strangers were patting me on the back as they left. Telling me Im a trooper... blah blah blah.
Now that we are home... My 2 yr old sneakes the whole 1/2 gallon of ice cream into her room and is eating it/smearing on the carpet.
I NEED A VACATION FROM THE KIDS ALREADY. ONLY BEEN 1 WEEK WITHOUT HELP FROM HUBBY.... ONLY 2 MORE MONTHS TO GO. I swear as you all as my witnesses that I will NEVER take these children out to eat again.
Please tell me Im not alone. Please give me hope that most kids are like this. Please give the the dream that I will once again, one day, get to sit down for a nice dinner in public, and actually enjoy myself. (p.s. will I have to wait untill they are 18 and OUT OF MY HOUSE?)
Im sending the kids to bed and having a beer. Thank you for letting me vent.
Wow, I'm new here and I just can't believe what I'm reading. Nurses advocating child abuse? Amazing. Truly, truly amazing.
Nurse-in-boots, you have received some excellent advice and some not so good advice. You sound like a loving mommy struggling to do the right thing under stressful circumstances. :kiss
I understand what everyone is saying about discipline and why children might or might not behave etc. Giving them alternative things to do.etc.
But really my main concern is the mom's mental health here.
Really.
Please set aside time for yourself. As mothers we just DONT do this. Me included. Im telling you, Go out to lunch or to a movie or both.
I used to feel bad about going out and treating myself. (still do really.) But we have to every once in awhile. Please do this.
If you take your kids to a 'mothers' day out program or such dont feel bad. Even if they scream bloody murder when you leave. Just GO! When you go to pick them up you with feel Sooooooooooo much better.
Wow, I'm new here and I just can't believe what I'm reading. Nurses advocating child abuse? Amazing. Truly, truly amazing.
Nurse-in-boots, you have received some excellent advice and some not so good advice. You sound like a loving mommy struggling to do the right thing under stressful circumstances. :kiss
This, too shall pass.
I really dont believe anyone is advocating child abuse here. With all due respect. There is a diff between abuse and spanking. With my first child I did not believe in spanking. LOL. I do now. As a last resort. I think about all the time though.
I remember once I was in the grocery and my then 8yo son told me to 'shut up'. I just popped him in the mouth. Not enough to hurt him or leave any mark, but enough to make him think twice about verbally abusing his own mother. (I think it embarrassed him more than anything. He hasnt told me to shut up since. A woman saw the whole thing and got all over me about it. Then another woman saw the whole thing and told the other one basically where to go. What a fiasco! I have not used this as a means of discipline since.
I dont want to turn this into a debate about child abuse, but I dont think that is what anyone here is advocating. I think some are just voicing what we have all wanted to do every once in awhile.
Sort of like when you have a real difficult patient and start thinking about some serious pillow therapy. But we would never do that either!
I have to also add that I think kids misbehave in public because they think they can get away with it. If you dont want to leave or spank them most places do have bathrooms.
I agree with nurse2002 that child abuse had been mixed up with physcial discipline. There seems a common misconception that ANY physical discipline=child abuse and that child abuse is ONLY about physical discipline. Unfortunately there is so much emotion caught up in this issue that it clouds free debate.
Do we need debate - YES! Let us get this issue out of the cupboard - throw out stereotypes and media myths and look at the research. But let us do it without accusation and allegations of abuse. Accept that for some people any form of physical discipline is an anathema while for others is it a time honored and tested method of teaching behavioural modification.
I just don't get how I could possibly teach my children to respect others by hurting them ..
I would not accept anyone hurting me to "teach me a lesson" why would I do that to the people I love the most ...
just my way of doing things..
I do understand that not all parents that spank abuse their children.. abuse is multifaceted and can be totally non contact
Example of discipline.
Your child, however young, Keeps running into the street or trying to. The child being very stubborn doesnt want to listen. And you keep telling the child what could happen to him if he ran in the street. Even time out doesnt work.
What would be more effective:
Saying "Tommy , now dont do that anymore. That big MAK truck could hurt you."
OR , a serious spanking.
I vote for the spanking. I think the spanking would hurt a lot less than a MAC truck.
Bet more likely than not that child would not run out in the street or whatever again, or at the very least think seriously before incurring another infraction of the rules.
Diana in Sweden
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