THEY ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! (sorry.. having one of those days)
maybe because my hubby is gone (week #1 out of 5 mos).
maybe because they are only 2 and 5 yrs old.
maybe because Im too scared to beat the tar out of them in public
Tell ya what, I came close to tonight... Took my two "angels" out for pizza for dinner. As soon as the door opened to go inside, they take off running inside. Running toward the video games, I calmly tell them "no, lets wait untill after we eat". The 2 yr old is already sitting at the race car game, when my 5 yr old SHOVES her out of the seat. Both are screaming bloody murder. I swear everyone at Pizza Inn stopped and stared...
Then... I get a table, wrangled the angels up... and attempt to put the 2 yr old in a high chair. She starts screaming AGAIN! Legs spread wide open, flairing around. Refuses to sit in the chair. She wants to sit in the real chair. No big deal youd think, but she wont sit there either. She constantly gets up and runs around. Hence the need to STRAP HER DOWN.
She still refuses, so I give in (tired of making a scene). She takes one bite of pizza, and starts running around the table in circles. Im PLEADING with her to please sit and eat. MORE SCREAMING!
UGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! My 5 yr old just sits there and laughs. I felt like crying. Completley lost my appitite, start nagging the 5 yr old to hurry and eat so we can leave. I am completely embarrased by now. Felt like crawling under the table. Complete strangers were patting me on the back as they left. Telling me Im a trooper... blah blah blah.
Now that we are home... My 2 yr old sneakes the whole 1/2 gallon of ice cream into her room and is eating it/smearing on the carpet.
I NEED A VACATION FROM THE KIDS ALREADY. ONLY BEEN 1 WEEK WITHOUT HELP FROM HUBBY.... ONLY 2 MORE MONTHS TO GO. I swear as you all as my witnesses that I will NEVER take these children out to eat again.
Please tell me Im not alone. Please give me hope that most kids are like this. Please give the the dream that I will once again, one day, get to sit down for a nice dinner in public, and actually enjoy myself. (p.s. will I have to wait untill they are 18 and OUT OF MY HOUSE?)
Im sending the kids to bed and having a beer. Thank you for letting me vent.
Been there, done that!! My first two were 18 months apart. There were times, I felt like I was going crazy. Everyone is right, it does get better.
The one piece of advice I would give is to teach your kids that "No means No!" When they are behaving badly, don't threaten them, then not follow up on the threat. The two year old may not get it at first, but I bet the five year old will! It takes time and a lot of patience! Good Luck!!
I really feel for you. I have a 2 and a 3 year old. My husband now refuses to go anywhere with the anymore because they constantly act up. When they are driving me crazy, the first thing on my mind is if I will make it through nursing school (I'm waiting on my acceptance letter). Some days it seems like every time I turn around they are into something else or made a new mess.
Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. By the way, were in Oklahoma are you?
I stick to my solution. Maybe you have never heard a heart-stopping, eardrum-piercing screech from a 2-3 year old.
If I heard it once, I would imprint on my kids' memory that THAT
would never be tolerated again...ever.
If I heard it again, a well placed one time smack would cure the problem in my household. And I would not hesitate to do it.
And the kids know I would not hesitate. I respect them & their feelings, they know we expect the same from them. Yes, 2 year olds, "you cannot scream at mommy, you cannot hit mommy, etc."
They know and understand basic limits.
And for those who don't care a ratz -azz about what other
people think of your kids screechin, screaming, running around
all over the restaurant, knocking everything over at the grocery store, interrupting every adult conversation, whining and fretting,.......... you will care later on....when they adopt your attitude towards other people, their rights and property.
I cant beleive that anyone would think its ok to slap a child across the face. I am raising my two little girls alone, and i take them to Macdonalds or some place like that when we go out to eat. Its cheaper and easier on the kids. I agree that you need to be firm and take them out of the restaurant or store, but I would never ever slap one of my kids.
I remember walking in a mall when I was preggers with my first child, when I accidently bumped into a two year old girl, knocking her to the ground. It was my fault and I apologized while putting my hand out to help her up. Her mother proceeded to slap her across the face, yelling at her and blaming her for getting in MY way. I was appalled. I decided then and there that slapping across the face was completely disrespectful (and a place prone to injury anyway). Now, I'm not against a swat on the tush for a child who is saying, in effect, "up yours mom - I ain't gonna do it!!". But slapping is wrong.
I agree with the advice of other posters . . consider the age and abilities of your children. Avoid situations where you know they will get tired and act up. Get take out food and go to a park and let your kids run and play. You are essentially a single parent for awhile . . don't put yourself in situations where you know you will be stressed. And don't listen to the "my kids were perfect angels" parents . . . . they are just gonna produce guilt which will make your life more stressful. Can you enlist some help from your church or synagogue members? Or family?
Be firm, consistent and don't let your kids disrespect you. If you fall apart, your kids will know they can run right over you. They actually want rules . . . . there was a study done in the 1970's . . . a school took down a fence that surrounded a playground at an elementary school. Before the fence was down, the kids would play all over the playground right up to the fence line. Afterwards, the kids huddled in the middle not feeling safe enough to venture out. Like when we drive . . if that little yellow or white line is gone from the middle of the road, we feel unsafe. Even though it is just a line not a real wall between the oncoming traffic.
Best wishes
Good post, Stevielynn!
One of our Pedi's had a talk he gave at CBE classes entitiled "No is a Love word". He felt people were not firm and CONSISTANT with their children. I've seen many parents constantly threaten and cajole their children in public restaurants and never follow through. Kids really need firm limits and feel more secure knowing someone is in charge. Plus, you do a child no favor if you allow obnoxious behavior. The child continues to act out, no one wants to be around him/her. And if you can't reign in a toddler's behavior can you imagine what an out of control child behaves like as a teenager?
Childrearing-the hardest job you'll ever have. Makes nursing look like a piece of cake.
Nurse-in-boots -- you really started a thought-provoking and excellent post -- I've read every post. There is no doubt in my mind that you are an excellent mom -- just a bit overwhelmed with being in nursing school, husband is away for an extended amount of time, and raising two very young children. I would absolutely be overwhelmed -- so don't think that you aren't getting support and kudos from me! I applaud you.
It's easy to forget how challenging it is to raise very young kids. There are many different ways to bring up children -- and many different views. We come from different backgrounds, experiences -- but I do believe that unconditional love and consistency (as much as possible) are so important. We all differ regarding how we discipline -- and I really hope this thread becomes more of support than a debate.
As you can see nurse-in-boots you are not alone. The first time my boys 5yr & 2yrs did that to me in public was the last time I calmly took both by the hand asked for the meal to be doggie bagged & took them home when my 5yr old was 12(he's now 15) asked why his dad & I never take him & his brother with us when we eat out I refreshed his memory. But I did not deprive them of the eating out experience oh no I let brave relatives(grandmothers, aunts) & friends take them to all the kids friendly places. Now that they are older it is a pleasure to dine with them although they tend to order the same thing either cheeseburgers & fries or pizza.
In all fairness, I didn't read that she smacked them in the face, only that she smacked them (The butt maybe)?. I always swore I'd never spank my kids but after I tried it and saw how effective it could be when applied APPROPRIATELY and with due compassion ... I was hooked.
In the face? Never. But a well-timed smack on the behind works wonders.
Oh my gosh this is so funny . . . had a really long, exhausting and sad day (lost a patient). Picked up my toddler from my in-laws, waited an hour for my daughter to finish softball practice while playing "catch" with my son, went to the grocery store and as I was writing a check my son wanted down and gave an ear piercing scream (a la passing thru's comments) . . . . well, I packed him out to the car, put him in his corificeat, drove home and fed him dinner. He was tired and hungry. And he didn't get slapped across the cheek.
I just couldn't help thinking . . how weird is this? We were just talking about this on allnurses.
I cannot imagine slapping that little blue-eyed, red headed, rosy cheeked darlin . . .
phn92
65 Posts
Been there, done that!! My first two were 18 months apart. There were times, I felt like I was going crazy. Everyone is right, it does get better.
The one piece of advice I would give is to teach your kids that "No means No!" When they are behaving badly, don't threaten them, then not follow up on the threat. The two year old may not get it at first, but I bet the five year old will! It takes time and a lot of patience! Good Luck!!