THEY ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! (sorry.. having one of those days)
maybe because my hubby is gone (week #1 out of 5 mos).
maybe because they are only 2 and 5 yrs old.
maybe because Im too scared to beat the tar out of them in public
Tell ya what, I came close to tonight... Took my two "angels" out for pizza for dinner. As soon as the door opened to go inside, they take off running inside. Running toward the video games, I calmly tell them "no, lets wait untill after we eat". The 2 yr old is already sitting at the race car game, when my 5 yr old SHOVES her out of the seat. Both are screaming bloody murder. I swear everyone at Pizza Inn stopped and stared...
Then... I get a table, wrangled the angels up... and attempt to put the 2 yr old in a high chair. She starts screaming AGAIN! Legs spread wide open, flairing around. Refuses to sit in the chair. She wants to sit in the real chair. No big deal youd think, but she wont sit there either. She constantly gets up and runs around. Hence the need to STRAP HER DOWN.
She still refuses, so I give in (tired of making a scene). She takes one bite of pizza, and starts running around the table in circles. Im PLEADING with her to please sit and eat. MORE SCREAMING!
UGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! My 5 yr old just sits there and laughs. I felt like crying. Completley lost my appitite, start nagging the 5 yr old to hurry and eat so we can leave. I am completely embarrased by now. Felt like crawling under the table. Complete strangers were patting me on the back as they left. Telling me Im a trooper... blah blah blah.
Now that we are home... My 2 yr old sneakes the whole 1/2 gallon of ice cream into her room and is eating it/smearing on the carpet.
I NEED A VACATION FROM THE KIDS ALREADY. ONLY BEEN 1 WEEK WITHOUT HELP FROM HUBBY.... ONLY 2 MORE MONTHS TO GO. I swear as you all as my witnesses that I will NEVER take these children out to eat again.
Please tell me Im not alone. Please give me hope that most kids are like this. Please give the the dream that I will once again, one day, get to sit down for a nice dinner in public, and actually enjoy myself. (p.s. will I have to wait untill they are 18 and OUT OF MY HOUSE?)
Im sending the kids to bed and having a beer. Thank you for letting me vent.
I have what her kindergarden teacher termed the most curious and active 6 year old she has ever met in 20 years of teaching .. she has needed very carefull watching to keep her safe, she is polite and respectful both of her elders and other children. She is learning to interact with other children and is doing well at school.
my 9 year old has been easier to raise ( well so far lol ) she is also well behaved, happy, has many friends and excells at school.
I have allways followed through on a no and dock treats for punishment.
I am very proud of my children and the fact I have never hit them or used belittling punishment.
so I teach my children to be afraid of me instead of the truck .. whatever ...
what about a fence?
That was just an example. I was talking about using spanking as a last resort. I think if you spank a child out of anger it would be damaging and they would be afraid of you. But I would classify spanking out of anger abuse. Spanking to discipline is just that discipline. Im not talking about beating a kids butt and leaving marks. Im talking about a swat on the butt. A wake up call.
If time out or talking works for a child, thats great. But these consequences dont always work.
ok i haven't needed it ..i cannot imagine a situation that I would need it .. if my husband "swatted" me I wouldn't accept it .... so I don't expect my children to accept it from me either
my fence was also an example .. I do not see a situation that I would keep my child safer by hitting her than taking her out of that situation and talking to her
I never said you were abusing a child by spanking... I simply said I did not agree with it check post 63
Raising kids takes creativity. This is one of my favorite stories ...
When my son was 3 and REFUSED to try a bite of broccolli, I didn't yell, threaten....I just put huge piles of broccolli on mine and my husbands plate and a speck of green on the little guys plate. I told him broccolli was for grown ups, that that was all he was going to get. He pouted, teared up but didn't get any broccolli. The next time I served broccolli, I told him he looked bigger so maybe I'll give him a bigger portion. The kid INHALED the broccolli.
Whenever my son misbehaves (yes, he isn't perfect) he loses his bike, trampoline or is grounded and the punishment sticks. When he was little, I took him hiking with me a lot (climbed his first mountain at age 3)....so he was always too tired to misbehave and throw a tantrum.
Edited to add; I don't mean to insinuate that pro spankers lack creativity....I'm just describing my relationship with my son and how I've used a bit of reverse pychology on him. Works like a charm!
you and I should get together .... you sound like a person I would like to spend time with
loved the broccoli thing :roll
I have been trying to get my 9 year old to learn english .. she refuses ... so we started speaking english around her, just everyday stuff like "pass the sugar" and then back to swedish ... she is so curious so now she wants to learn
ok i haven't needed it ..i cannot imagine a situation that I would need it .. if my husband "swatted" me I wouldn't accept it .... so I don't expect my children to accept it from me either
my fence was also an example .. I do not see a situation that I would keep my child safer by hitting her than taking her out of that situation and talking to her
I never said you were abusing a child by spanking... I simply said I did not agree with it check post 63
Noone said anytng about "hitting" a child. We said "spanking"
There is a difference.
I dont say I spank my children as the only form of discipline. Like I said, a last resort.
Actually, as a child I was never spanked. And believe me there were times when I should of been. I dont think I would of respected my parents any less.
There are always "what ifs." We could look at statistics forever.
I think the botton line is we all have a different way of disciplining our children. Ive seen adults who were spanked turn out wonderful and love their parents to death and be good parents themselves. Ive seen kids who were spanked that are rotten adults and parents. Ive also seen adults that were not spanked as children turn out the same ways.
For the 4 year old who screeches eardrum-rupturing decibels in the grocery store or mall...................it isn't cute.
And it's curable. One good smack across the cheek cures
that little attention grabber.
A "good smack across the cheek" may stop the scream, but IMO is not only physical abuse, it is emotional abuse as well. A four year old can feel humiliarion, and slapping someones's face in public causes that person humiliation. When children are abused and humiliated, they grow up fostering anger and resentment. When they become older, they act out on that anger, often taking it out on their parents or other children. These children may become violent themselves, or sexually inappropriate when they reach their teen years. Then the parents want to place all the blame elsewhere. The kids are labeled as "bad" and the poor suffering parents are martyrs. I raised six children, with firm discipline, and consistent limits. I never slapped or spanked any of them, and they are all happy, welll adjusted, successful adults. And they remain close to each other and to me and my husband.
i know where you are coming from!! i decided after a long and hard thought that i would go to walmart because we needed diapers and sandles for the summer. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!! we got in the door and it was like roaches scattering when the lights come on. my 2, 5, and 12 yo decided to all go in different ways. and then to try and put the 2 yo in a cart--that's like trying to wrestle an octopus. my husband works very strange hours (he works in a dairy) so i don't get a lot of help either. i don't even like to go to the grocery store because i end up with twice as much in the cart then i needed because i'm sick of the screaming fits. aren't children wonderful???????!!!!!!!!
i know where you are coming from!! i decided after a long and hard thought that i would go to walmart because we needed diapers and sandles for the summer. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!! we got in the door and it was like roaches scattering when the lights come on. my 2, 5, and 12 yo decided to all go in different ways. and then to try and put the 2 yo in a cart--that's like trying to wrestle an octopus. my husband works very strange hours (he works in a dairy) so i don't get a lot of help either. i don't even like to go to the grocery store because i end up with twice as much in the cart then i needed because i'm sick of the screaming fits. aren't children wonderful???????!!!!!!!!
I always found it cheaper and easier to pay a babysitter when I went shopping, especially for groceries. I would take less time in the store , and spend less money when I went alone. The couple of dollars I gave the sitter was a great investment. And I would bring home small treats for the kids which they received if the sitter told me they had been well behaved.
Diana in Sweden
99 Posts
I have what her kindergarden teacher termed the most curious and active 6 year old she has ever met in 20 years of teaching .. she has needed very carefull watching to keep her safe, she is polite and respectful both of her elders and other children. She is learning to interact with other children and is doing well at school.
my 9 year old has been easier to raise ( well so far lol ) she is also well behaved, happy, has many friends and excells at school.
I have allways followed through on a no and dock treats for punishment.
I am very proud of my children and the fact I have never hit them or used belittling punishment.
thank you for your support furball