Most ridiculous things you have heard?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

what are some of the most ridiculous things that patients or family members or even coworkers have said to you? we had one patient complain because i bent their straw down too far. same patient also complained because we let them fall asleep and they had a "nightmare"[color=#333233] :uhoh3:

and this is more of a annoyance, but i had a patient with a bp that was going down the toilet but surprisingly this patient was still conscious and talking to me - said they felt fine! :eek: i was busy talking to the doc and getting orders and taking care of this situation when a family member of a patient i discharged earlier that night calls me at 0300 asking me, "my mom feels nauseous, is it okay if i give her her nausea medicine?" :banghead:

Specializes in Ante-Intra-Postpartum, Post Gyne.

A fetal heart rate tracing in the 60 for over three mins despite interuterine recesitation, prepping for an emergency c/s---asking the patient to sign the consentant; the doula tells the patient "remember you have options"...

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency; med-surg; mat-child.
"i was gardening in the nude and somehow i slipped and fell right on that cucumber . . . "

no flange: not safe.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency; med-surg; mat-child.

Drug seeking: You're Doing It Wrong.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency; med-surg; mat-child.

Did the Garda find it amuse or were they irate? Seems like something they'd dredge up at the pub over and over and over and over . . .

Up Vote Up Vote ×
This pt I had was allergic to nearly 100 things and had a specialist in Dallas, Tx.Allergic to nuts, all food dyes, preservatives found in most medications, all fragrances, lactose, wheat with all types of health issues along the lines of fibromyalgia.The husband came in the day before admission and wiped the room down with a vinegar solution and set up the hepa filter, brought own refrigerator with own food. Drove over 500 miles for a lap chole I think because this hospital is the only one to cater to all her whims. All meds had to be compounded especially for her and everything that touched her had to be wiped clean of disinfectant. She was also allergic to alcohol so we couldn't swab before flushing her IV.Had to gown, glove, mask and cover hair every time like she was in reverse iso. It was the longest 2 nights of my career.

Me, I'd be asking for the proof of allergies before everyone turned themselves inside out and the hospital upside down for what could well be either a psycho or Munchausen's award winner.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Adult/Ped Emergency and Trauma.

Narcotic Drug Seeking For Dummies!!! Volume One

Prologue: Legitimate ways your Narc Rx (you got this AM) was lost.

Chapter One: Stuff You Should Have an Allergy To.

Chapter Two: Toradol, and Other Sorry Excuses for Analgesics.

Chapter Three: Coping Mechanisms: When the Nurse Pushes it Slow, or Dilutes it in that 50mL Bag.

Chapter Four: Whose the Attending Physician Tonight? Discount Doctor Shopping!

Chapter Five: Don't Let Your Hands Shake when you Tell them what usually works.

Chapter Six: How to Fake Painful Illnesses without looking like a "B" Movie Actor/Actress!

Chapter Seven: If your Pain Level is 9/10, You Shouldn't Ask "Is there a smoking area here?"

Chapter Eight: Rehab is for Quitters, and why Suboxone/Methodone Clinics will kill your buzz!

Epilogue: Why they get suspicious when you have the same complaint 9 times per week.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Cardiac, PCU, Surg/Onc, LTC, Peds.
Me, I'd be asking for the proof of allergies before everyone turned themselves inside out and the hospital upside down for what could well be either a psycho or Munchausen's award winner.
The "proof" was her letters from the allergist in Dallas. Oh and everyone had to speak 'softly' too. Her teenage children were there and I figured they would be a little off but actually very normal, nice kids. The WHOLE family though revolved around her and everything was such an ordeal. Our NM had pre-assigned the nurses too. Without warning us beforehand. Smart woman but I lost quite a bit respect of the NM over that deal.
Up Vote Up Vote ×
narcotic drug seeking for dummies!!! Volume one

prologue: legitimate ways your narc rx (you got this am) was lost.

chapter one: stuff you should have an allergy to.

chapter two: toradol, and other sorry excuses for analgesics.

chapter three: coping mechanisms: When the nurse pushes it slow, or dilutes it in that 50ml bag.

chapter four: whose the attending physician tonight? Discount doctor shopping!

chapter five: don't let your hands shake when you tell them what usually works.

chapter six: how to fake painful illnesses without looking like a "b" movie actor/actress!

chapter seven: if your pain level is 9/10, you shouldn't ask "is there a smoking area here?"

chapter eight: rehab is for quitters, and why suboxone/methodone clinics will kill your buzz!

epilogue: why they get suspicious when you have the same complaint 9 times per week.

a er times best seller!!!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in OB (with a history of cardiac).

Me: "how would you rate your pain right now if 10 is unbearable and 0 is pain free?"

Patient: "oh..... 8 or 9"

Me: "oh. Well, that sounds like your pain is not well controlled, and I see you just got some Morphine an hour ago in your IV. Shall we try some toradol now to try to reign it in?"

Patient: "um...I don't know...when can I get the stuff in my IV again?"

Me: "oh, not for another 2 hours, and the doc is wanting you to try some alternatives to the IV stuff because you're going home today" (it's 0030 or so).

Patient: Oh. I'll just wait until I can get the IV stuff. It's no problem.

Me: "Your pain is 8-9 out of 10, that sounds pretty bad, I think we should try to do something, don't you think?"

Patient (oddly cheerful): "oh it's ok, I can wait..."

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency, Haematology/Oncology.

Grub brought in with ambulance with multiple complex lacerations to both lower limbs. "Sister, I work at the bakery and dropped a glass cupcake holder, that's how I cut my legs". After discussion with ambulance officers- "Was that before or after you kicked in the restaurant windows to steal alcohol and cash?".

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Me: "how would you rate your pain right now if 10 is unbearable and 0 is pain free?"

Patient: "oh..... 8 or 9"

Me: "oh. Well, that sounds like your pain is not well controlled, and I see you just got some Morphine an hour ago in your IV. Shall we try some toradol now to try to reign it in?"

Patient: "um...I don't know...when can I get the stuff in my IV again?"

Me: "oh, not for another 2 hours, and the doc is wanting you to try some alternatives to the IV stuff because you're going home today" (it's 0030 or so).

Patient: Oh. I'll just wait until I can get the IV stuff. It's no problem.

Me: "Your pain is 8-9 out of 10, that sounds pretty bad, I think we should try to do something, don't you think?"

Patient (oddly cheerful): "oh it's ok, I can wait..."

Oh, yes, I see we've had this same patient! It's unbearable pain, but if it means trying a non-narcotic (and/or possibly not getting that same yummy IV narcotic) then they'll be "just fine" until the IV narc is due. Remarkable.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Grub brought in with ambulance with multiple complex lacerations to both lower limbs. "Sister, I work at the bakery and dropped a glass cupcake holder, that's how I cut my legs". After discussion with ambulance officers- "Was that before or after you kicked in the restaurant windows to steal alcohol and cash?".

Grub? Is this a slang I don't know?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment