Mom of a 7 year old starting last semester....feel like a bad mother

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I have made it to my last semester which starts next week. We will have the HESI exit exam along with clinicals and regular exams. I am already freakin out about HESI. My husband is a long haul truck driver and is gone for several weeks at a time so I am pretty much a single mom. I feel like I have neglected my 7 year old son so much in order for me to do this nursing school thing. He is starting to act out and show some frustration/anger issues and its only with me....he's perfect at school and with others. I just feel like a bad mom. Like a good mom would always make time to go do what ever with her child. But when I get home I study or clean up my house or get him fed/washed/homework.....Really I end up starting to study around 9 or 10 after he goes to sleep then Im tired and its a cruel cycle. I keep saying Ive made it this far.....we can make it until May when I graduate and then things will be ok...but I dont know. I am afraid my son will say "you didnt have time for me for the last 2 years so I dont have time or interest in you now". guess Im just venting.......:typing

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Specializes in MICU, SICU, CRRT,.

I have three children..a 7 year old, a 5 year old, and a 4 year old. I just graduated after three years. It is not easy, and i am married with my husband at home..but it is doable. You son may be a little angry and upset with you right now, but he will be proud of you when you are all done. Also, as he ages, he will understand what you did for him and your family, and be proud of you. You are a great role model for him. Keep your head high, and get this last semester done with, so you can start the next phase of your life!!!

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Specializes in ICU.

Ditto to the above post. Keep your focus and just keep letting him know that your trying to make a better life for you all. You've come too far to give up now...and then all your time spent away from your son will have been for nothing:)

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One more semester is a small price for a huge achievement that will end up benefiting your son, even if right now he doesn't appreciate your committment to school. You can do it, and he will survive. Promise him a trip to Disneyworld or some fun place when you are finished :). I've promised myself that ;).

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You know, I know how you feel to a point. My husband works alot of long hours and normally 6 or 7 days a week...My daughter is 5 getting ready to turn 6 and I am also getting ready to start my last semester and finish in may....She said something to me last year that changed everything....my little 4 year old at the time told her daddy that mommy didn't have time to play with her anymore because she had to study so she doesnt' fail.....THAT broke my heart, so I made a pack with my daughter that every week we would do little things special with each other....one night we have movie night and popcorn, another we may go to the park or whatever she choses....it really helped and I have seen a dramatic change in not only her but also in myself....SHE reminded me why I was doing all of this, its not only about me, its about my family and the lives I am going to be able to help when I am finished....which means I needed to make time for my family more, and in turn this made me not only a better mother, but a better wife, and a better student because I was happier.....

So don't beat yourself up, be proud of what you are doing and just make changes to incorporate more time for you son....best wishes, and good luck...

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Specializes in Peds,ER,FP,Med/surg/oncol, Hospice.

Dito to all of the above. I did it with 4 kids 3 of them under 9. Trust me it gets better when you are done with. FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS. This was my toughest semester out of ALL of them. What I did that worked that may or may not work for you is that I found 1 day it happened to be Sunday where I put EVERYTHING aside and just used it for family day. It was terribly hard and there were nights that after I got the kids to bed I found myself peeking at an assignment or reading some but for the most part Sunday was family day and it was a wonderful break and did wonders for the kids to. Good luck you CAN do it. RN is right around the corner.:nurse:

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I certainly understand your feelings, I'm having anxious feelings myself about my kids with my first semester in the nursing program looming. I have two children: my oldest is nearly thirteen yet still something of a momma's boy, even through his mildly snotty preteen angst period; my youngest will be two years old in a week and is extremely clingly and attached to me. My oldest is able to comprehend how this will better our lives as a family, but my youngest is not going to understand fully.

My only consolation is that the school routine is not completely new, as that I have spent a pretty busy 2008 with pre-req's in order to be ready for the nursing deadline. The nursing program will just have me home somewhat later, one day more a week and require more study time. I've adjusted my work schedule to accomodate two weekdays of daytime study (while both are at school) so weekends can be mostly for the family.

You have to look at this as everything else "unpleasant" about parenthood, such as enforcing bed time, getting up early for school, doing homework, etc. I would just suggest talking about it as much as your can with your child: the importance of education, frequently reaffirming your love, that the purpose of your absence is not to abandon him and that, although an eternity in a child's eyes, it is NOT forever. Encourage him to vent to you verbally, be sure to validate and show you understand his feelings - perhaps it will cut down on the acting out. Even if he doesn't quite "get it" now, as previously stated, he will remember the conversation when he's older and understand it.

Just remember, kids don't always appreciate everything their parents do until they are older or even parents themselves! :nuke:

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Specializes in Telemetry.

I know what it is to have young kids and have to attend college, especially nursing college. I will be dome with classes this year too and my son and daughter are so tired of not having mommy around to do the things we used to do. Just try to hold on and it will work out.

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Specializes in Perinatal, Education.

Although I graduated from nursing school over six years ago, I have returned to school and will again graduate with my MSN this May. That is an on-line program so I feel like I have sometimes been "at school" 7 days a week. I would second what another poster said about taking a day off once a week and using that day for family and fun--not cleaning and grocery shopping and laundry.

My house is no longer the cleanest, but with three teenaged boys and a husband who actually cooks (!!) what can I expect or want?? The nice part about working is that I do have a housekeeper every other week. Keep that little carrot in front of you! Right now I am on winter break from school and am spending my off days watching Lost DVDs trying to catch up before the series returns in Jan. This has meant a lot of sitting around and bonding with my big guys and it has been great. Small thing--big returns. I'm sure they will always remember this and I am enjoying it, too.

If you can't swing a whole day off, take certain hours off every day to only concentrate on your daughter. Let her sit on your lap to talk to her. Give her your full attention. Again, small things--big return. Parenting is hard and not an exact science. Love them well so that they know they are loved. They grow up fast. My oldest will go off to college next year.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

I am in similar shoes. I carve out 15 minutes at the end of each day for a cup of tea w/milk or hot chocolate. Just sitting down with your child for 15 minutes-30 minutes will do wonders for both of you. If I do it after a warm bath, my daughter usually falls asleep leaving me time to study.:up: It means a lot to have a cup of something and talk about your day. This could be something that you continue after nursing school.

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Specializes in Cardiac, Derm, OB.

Few minutes a day of one on one time and reassurance of how much you love them and how soon this will pass will do wonders.

I am raising a 17 yr old son and 8 yr old daughter and seperated.

It can be done but just make sure they know they are still #1.

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Specializes in Critical Care-Neuro/Trauma ICU.

I can totally sympathize with your feelings of inadequacy towards your son. My daughter will be turning 7 next week...her father and I are no longer together and he only has her every 2 weeks...I'm in my second semester...and I've never felt so guilty as I did last semester. It's so hard! And my daughter did the SAME thing with acting out...but ONLY towards me. She was either angry or totally emotional and crying at all times. It's a hard thing to explain to a 7 year old about nursing school, so that doesn't really help. I've even had friends that are stay at home moms that have tried to make me feel guilty about going to school! But here's what I do to get me through the day...Just remember when you start to feel sad or guilty that what you are doing is very admirable thing. You are doing this for the benefit of yourself AND your family. Your son will probably not even remember how much you were gone...and you're ALMOST THERE!!! Be proud of yourself for making it! You will be able to enrich your life as well as your son's when you are finished! You hang in there...good luck on your tests and with your final semester! I'm envious that you are almost finished :D!

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