Mom of two has an important career decision to make, need advice, please.

RNKPCE · Feb 1, 2011

Could you work nights if you weren't a mom? There are plenty of nurses without children who can't do nights. If your answer is "no" you won't need to go further in thinking about this position. If it is "yes" then you do have to give it more thought. Do you already do 12 hour shifts? If not you will not only be working a different shift but more hours. If married is your spouse going to be supportive of this choice because it will surely change what he does in the evenings.

Mrs. Sparkle Pants · Feb 1, 2011

Do it! If it doesn't work out you can go back to the OR, but please don't miss out on following your dream! My husband works nights, and it actually works out really well as a parent. He wakes up for dinner, is gone while we are asleep, and comes home for breakfast. He sleeps while I am at work and our son is at daycare. Also only working three days will give you the opportunity to attend school functions and such. As you made it sound, nights would only be for 9 months, I think it would totally be worth it. Good luck!!

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Feb 1, 2011

I did a critical internship with 2 young children. It is difficult, but it can be done. It largely depends on how supportive your spouse is. Will he be understanding and helpful? Will you be able to get some quality sleep during the day, or are you thinking you will be taking care of the kids after you get home?

I worked 6 months on nights after finishing my internship. Luckily, a day shift position opened up and no one on night shift wanted to move to days.

If this is truly your dream, and you believe your night shift days will be fairly temporary, AND your family will whole heartedly support your dream, I say go for it. Who knows when you will get this opportunity again?

kimbalotz · Feb 1, 2011

Thank you for your replys...

To Ms. Horseshoe...

While you were on nights, did you have someone watching your children and did you sleep? And, when did you sleep...was it as soon as you got home, or did you sleep later in the day? And, on your days off...what happened? Were you able to "function" during the day? I am just wondering how it will be.

My husband works in the city all day, and on the nights I would work, I wouldn't even see him. I'd be leaving for work before he got home. He gets home @ 6:30pm, and I'd leave around 6ish.

He said he'd have no problem putting the kids to bed at night, of course...they are pretty easy for the most part. Ha ha.

I am just scared to turn this down, but scared too, of going for it. I don't know what to do. I will be very upset if I let this opportunity pass me by, I know it is what I truly want. I attended nursing school pregnant twice, and had my one daughter right in the middle of a semester...missed one week, and was back in school. I am not afraid of the challenge of the work itself, just want to know if I can do the nights and be a mom and wife too. I am so scared. ANy more info on how you managed your sleep/wake schedule would be VERY helpful.

Kim

WillowNMe · Feb 1, 2011

My husband works in the city all day, and on the nights I would work, I wouldn't even see him. I'd be leaving for work before he got home. He gets home @ 6:30pm, and I'd leave around 6ish.

My landlords have completely opposite schedules... "she" works a regular 7a-4p, "he" works 3p-3a. They hardly see each other except for weekends, and they seem to be happy. Granted they don't have kids, but they make it work.

Have you worked overnights before? I agree with batmik, that's the first hurdle. Some people can't do it. I love overnights. I don't have kids and I'm not married, but it seems to work for me. I had a friend that switched at the same time as me (from days to overnights)... she is in her late 30s, has two kids (elementary/jr high) and she makes it work. She works three overnights in a row and then shes off. Granted, she took a little longer to adjust then me, but she seems to like it now. I guess I would rather take the chance and say you at least did it then think back and be disappointed that you didn't.

fernandatripure · Feb 1, 2011

I've been working nights for a few months now (3 x a week), I am married and don't have kids yet... recently told my manager I want to change for 1st shift and it may take me a while to get it. It's hard to adjust but if I were you I would go for it and would tell them as soon as you are hired that you would like to work 1st shift whenever they have an open position. I usually feel tired after work and I wanna sleep as soon as I come home but since I don't see my husband in the evenings (when I work), I stay with him until he leaves, go to bed 8-9 am, wake up at 4-5pm when I have to work and a couple of hours earlier when I am off. I found out that waking up a little bit earlier helps me sleep at night when I am off. After being off for a couple of days you can either wake up early and take a nap in the afternoon or stay up late the night before and sleep in. The first month was really tough for me to sleep at night, one day I stayed up the whole night and just felt sleepy at 7 am... eating is also hard... I don't switch my meals though... I have dinner when I wake up at 5 pm before going to work and have breakfast before going to bed. Some people like to change the meals according to the days they work. You probably will have to try different things and see what works best for you.

Hope that helps. Good luck!

ItsTheDude · Feb 1, 2011

i ain't a mom, but i've got kids. three 12 hour shifts a week is great, IF you have the child care squared away, which you said you did, so go for it.

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Feb 2, 2011

Thank you for your replys...
To Ms. Horseshoe...
While you were on nights, did you have someone watching your children and did you sleep? And, when did you sleep...was it as soon as you got home, or did you sleep later in the day? And, on your days off...what happened? Were you able to "function" during the day? I am just wondering how it will be.
My husband works in the city all day, and on the nights I would work, I wouldn't even see him. I'd be leaving for work before he got home. He gets home @ 6:30pm, and I'd leave around 6ish.
He said he'd have no problem putting the kids to bed at night, of course...they are pretty easy for the most part. Ha ha.
I am just scared to turn this down, but scared too, of going for it. I don't know what to do. I will be very upset if I let this opportunity pass me by, I know it is what I truly want. I attended nursing school pregnant twice, and had my one daughter right in the middle of a semester...missed one week, and was back in school. I am not afraid of the challenge of the work itself, just want to know if I can do the nights and be a mom and wife too. I am so scared. ANy more info on how you managed your sleep/wake schedule would be VERY helpful.
Kim

Dear Kim,

When I worked nights, I did have childcare. It was expensive, but very very good. My husband helped...but I'll be honest, he was not thrilled about the situation, which made it VERY difficult. I too, was following my dream, but it was not my husband's dream, so there was friction. That's why I ask if your family will back you. That support is very important. My husband just couldn't seem to get that I needed at least 6 hours of sleep during the day-intellectually, yes, but in practice, no, it seemed weird to him- "Are you going to sleep ALL day?!":mad: He eventually got with the program, especially after I got a day shift position, so in the end it all worked out, but for a while, there was some resentment on both sides. I was tempted to wake him up at 3 am one night and ask "are you going to sleep for the whole d*#@ night?!";)

I always collapsed as soon as I could after getting home. I'm NOT a night person. My off days were *okay* not great, but doable. I always felt a bit discombobulated. That six months was very very hard for me. But our unit has many mothers who make this work and LOVE night shift, so don't take my experience as Gospel.

Bottom line: which would be worse to you: working in OR feeling bored, unhappy, unfulfilled, or chasing your dream, withstanding a good bit of discomfort and inconvenience in the short term in order to find long term happiness? Worse case, it doesn't live up to the image you have of it, but you come out of it with LOTS of additional knowledge and skills and more marketability in a tough time for nursing.

It's hard, I know. I'm making a change from ICU to another area entirely. It's scary for me, too-a completely different skills set, so very much out of my comfort zone. But I read a quote recently that said the following:

"If you're not uncomfortable, you're not growing."

Good luck, and let us know how it all works out!

linearthinker, DNP, RN · Feb 2, 2011

I'd take it. If you don't, and a year from now still don't feel fulfilled by your job, you will be full of regret thinking," if only id taken it, I'd be on days in the unit now...."

If you do decide it is best for your family to turn it down, try to get your RNFA. At least it would be more interesting than circulating! I don't blame you for not liking OR. I always thought I too would be sniffing the anesthesia gas if I had to work there. ;-). Now I see lots of neat NP jobs for NPs w/ FA experience and wish I could go back and get some!

Anyway, good luck.

greenfiremajick · Feb 2, 2011

You can do this, Kim

Hello everyone, I am hoping for some advice regarding my options to change the direction of my career.
First, I am the mother of two beautiful girls, ages 16 months, and 3 years old. Right now, I now work three days a week in the operating room in a very large health care system.
In short, I am BORED BORED BORED with my job. I took the position in the O.R. for logistical reasons; I was pregnant at the time I applied, and knew I couldn't work a night position with a newborn on the way. The O.R. was a good fit for me at the time. I did, however, want more than anything to take advantage of a Critical Care Fellowship that I was granted a position in, however I had to turn it down because of the pregnancy. Critical Care is my passion, and what I want to do more than anything. Again, I had to turn down this fellowship because of my baby's upcoming due date.
So being in the O.R. is not fulfiling to me, nor challenging. It is not where I want to be, because I feel many of my nursing skills will be LOST..(we do not even put in the I.V's.) It is just not the kind of nursing I see for myself.
I was just given the chance again, to join the critical care fellowship for the CTICU. It is a dream for me. After the fellowship and orientation period, it will be a night position, for about 9 months at least, till a day slot opens.
My question is...with my two small children, is this a possibility?? I mean, I do have childcare, but I am just not sure how I or if I can adjust. I know many women do...and that is what I am asking. It would be a 7pm to 7 am shift, three days a week.
Can any mom's out there let me know if they do work nights, and how they are doing?? I need to make a decision asap, and I am afraid to let this opportunity slip by again, and my dream be lost.
Thank you for your advice.
Kim

chanelagonzalez · Feb 2, 2011

There are a lot of moms working the night shift 7p-7a in my unit and they are moms to youngens like yours. All I can say is, these nurses all put in a request to work days and when the time came and the spot was open, all of them stayed nights. Nights is a whole different world in nursing and you may love it. You may also love the night differential which will make it hard to leave nights and take a pay cut to do the same job (some might say to take a pay cut to do MORE work during the day shift). Either way, it's your dream, and 9 months seems like such a small amount of time in the scheme of things. Good luck to you!