Miserable. Is this how it is everywhere?

Nurses New Nurse

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I'm a new grad and was hired August 20 for a job in the ICU. Since the critical care training program did not start until mid October, my manager told me that she would place me in the cardiac procedure unit to orient until that time and sign me up for the various orientation classes I needed as a new hire to the hospital. Well, the first month went very poorly. When I showed up in the CPU, nobody was expecting me, nobody knew why I would be placed there, no preceptor was available, etc... I wound up taking an eight hour tour of the hospital with a nurse who obviously had better things to do than to babysit someone's mistake. The next day, I had a preceptor, and we took one patient. The day after that, I had a different preceptor, and we took two patients. The following day, I had the first day's preceptor again, and I was scheduled to take four patients alone (including two new admits and a discharge) with the preceptor shadowing. I told the preceptor that I didn't think I would be able to handle it, particularly since I didn't have my own access to the Pyxis for meds. She was angry and basically then took all the patients herself with me shadowing her and pretty much begging to be shown how to do anything. After that week, I was sent to the TCU, where again nobody was expecting me or knew who I was. They sent me back to the CPU, who sent me to the ASU and so on and so on.

I must have oriented one or two days in every unit and floor of the hospital. After I spent one day in the ICU shadowing a very unhappy nurse, the assistant manager there decided that I needed a definite plan. I was to begin training night shifts in the TCU that next day and to stay in that unit until my critical care training started. When I showed up at 11 that night, nobody was expecting me in the TCU. I couldn't help it, after a month of the same, I started to cry. They sent me to the CPU, where, remembering the three days I had spent there a month before, I actually fared pretty well, taking a full load of (mostly sleeping) patients. The next night, the TCU was ready for me (sort of), and I had a preceptor. I've been working nights there for the past three weeks, and I haven't had the same preceptor more than three days in a row. I am so miserable that I cry every night before I have to go in to work. Every time I show up, the charge nurse looks irritated that she has to find someone for me to work with, and the person I'm assigned to looks positively burdened to have to work with me.

On top of it, most of the nurses in the unit are all from the same country. Although I speak Spanish and Russian as well as English, I (and nobody in my family) would ever dream of speaking those languages in front of people who did not understand them. I don't think that there is the same custom in these nurses' culture as, all night long, they speak their language around and over me as if I weren't even there. Although I'm surrounded by people, I have never felt so lonely.

Last night I felt so nervous about going to work that I couldn't stop throwing up and so I called in sick. I've never called in a sick day at any job before in my life. All of my previous (non-nursing) employers have loved me. I never missed a day of school and graduated near the top of my nursing class. Now I feel like the biggest, dumbest, most unwanted loser. I'm trying to hold out until the promised critical care classes begin in twelve days, but I dread even going in to work tonight.

Are all hospitals like this? Is this what everyone goes through? At nursing school, I was led to believe that there was a system to training new nurses, but I have received nothing resembling a systematic training. Should I look for a new job? This hospital pays the best in my area and has fantastic benefits, but the nurses here seem more unhappy than in any of the other places I rotated through in school.

It sounds stressful and intimidating for sure, but I would suggest you adopt the mindset of taking things in stride and taking charge of the situation. Every workplace has its issues, be it management, process or interpersonal relations.

I am not sure what your style is but as far as the language situation goes, how about addressing the problem with one of the more approachable nurses in a non-adversorial, non-accusatory manner? People tend to loosen up when you are perceived as 'desiring to build rapport with the group'.

In terms of being played like a yo-yo, I would say address your

frustration with the next level of management. I would escalate the issue if the situation persists. That, or grit your teeth and wait out the rest of the time until you can start your training program.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Psych.

(((hugs)))

Obviously, your orientation was very poorly planned. I am so sorry you have been basically thrown to other areas of the hospital with no guidance. Geesh... the first year or Nursing is hard enough!

Hang in there. Hopefully you will get to your unit soon.

As far as co-workers speaking a different language around you, I find that highly disrespectful. Don't they remember being a new employee???

Wishing you a better week :kiss

Michelle

Unfortunately the education budget is usually the first to get slashed when things get tight. The managers are often left to come up with orientation for their own staff. Some managers are educators and others are not. And some have so much on their plate that education is never really thought of. So many nurses I have worked with have the mind set that "I was thrown to the wolves. I came out OK. So they can either sink or swim. It isn't my job to baby them".

It is going to be very difficult to tell you what to do as just about anything I say could get someone mad at you. So you have to decide how you want to proceed. This situation is not absolutely everywhere. However it does happen in many places. And it has happened at all but one of the hospitals that I have worked in.

I would not go over your manager's head until you have met with your manager several times with your concerns. And always make the conversation an "I" conversation. This helps keep your manager from feeling as though you are attacking her. "I am uncomfortable with my orientation." "I don't feel like I am learning what I should be learning (and then give specifics)." "I feel like I am a hindrance to the other nurses and that they don't want me around." After you talk to your manager hopefully things will get better. If not, then you are going to have to figure out if it is worth having your manager and/or other nurses angry at your for following chain of command and going higher in the admin chain or if you want to suck it up and see how it plays out. Or if you decide you need to change units or even hospitals.

As far as the language issue - I'm right there with you. It is totally inappropriate to be speaking in another country's native tongue when you are not in that country. Many hospitals are making policies regarding this. The hospitals that are not are usually the hospitals that have a large number of foreign nurses - especially if they paid for thoss nurses to get here or are dependent on foreign born nurses because there are not enough "native" nurses seeking employment at that facility. You must be very careful whom you speak to about this. This is such a touchy issue that I have seen many nurses ostracized for speaking out. Particularly being new - you are now launching a complaint that is extremely personal to those nurses. If you need to learn from those nurses - you may find yourself hung out on a limb to dry in an emergency if you complain about the language. Tread lightly with your this issue.

Sorry that you have already found out how healthcare works. It didn't use to be this way.

I had a very similar experience to this as a new grad in the ICU. Although I had one official preceptor, I was always with a different nurse, none of which took the role of "preceptor". I was either shadowing or I had my own patient. I had no access to the Pyxis or computer for charting and it was very frustrating. More often than not, I was told to go find someone to pair up with for the day. I really did try to learn as much as I could on my own, but I kept waiting for my orientation to officially "take off". It didn't.

I have to agree with the others - take as much initiative as you can. Talk to your manager and/or charge nurse. It's hard to find that neutral ground as a new grad where you don't create too much "trouble" on a unit.

I resigned from that position. What I do regret is not going further sooner with my concerns. If I had, I probably would still be there. My manager and educators never seemed to be on the same page. We had an internship program that looked great on paper, but hardly anyone was following it, myself included. I was way too timid to make waves. I graduated top of my class too and felt that I was totally useless on the unit.

If you speak up about your concerns, at least you'll be sure you've given it 100%. I hope it works out for you. I know how hard it can be as a new grad. If they hired you for this position, you must have a lot of great qualities. Keep that in mind when you ask for assistance. Good luck to you!!!!

Specializes in cardiac/education.
Last night I felt so nervous about going to work that I couldn't stop throwing up and so I called in sick. I've never called in a sick day at any job before in my life. Now I feel like the biggest, dumbest, most unwanted loser. I dread even going in to work tonight.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I think other hospitals may be better. For sure you should have gotten better orientation. But it is these feelings in general that make me wonder if being an RN is worth it. Even for that dreaded first year where throwing up before work seems to be the norm. What a prison sentence! I hope you get some relief soon!

On top of it, most of the nurses in the unit are all from the same country. Although I speak Spanish and Russian as well as English, I (and nobody in my family) would ever dream of speaking those languages in front of people who did not understand them. I don't think that there is the same custom in these nurses' culture as, all night long, they speak their language around and over me as if I weren't even there. Although I'm surrounded by people, I have never felt so lonely.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. During clinicals, had a nurse get on to me one time because I was helping one of our physical therapists with a pt who was sedated. We spoke English only, since I don't speak any others. She said it was uncomfortable for the pt who couldn't understand us...Her brother had once been in same situation as my pt. Later, I went into the room with the same nurse and 2 others, all from the same country and they spoke in their native language. So now I'm uncomfortable because I don't know what they are saying, but neither does the pt understand what they are saying....

Some nurses just carry chips on their shoulders and they take it out on whoever they can. I really hope it gets better.

Specializes in Hematology/Oncology and Medicine.
last night i felt so nervous about going to work that i couldn't stop throwing up and so i called in sick. i've never called in a sick day at any job before in my life. all of my previous (non-nursing) employers have loved me. i never missed a day of school and graduated near the top of my nursing class. now i feel like the biggest, dumbest, most unwanted loser. i'm trying to hold out until the promised critical care classes begin in twelve days, but i dread even going in to work tonight.

are all hospitals like this? is this what everyone goes through? at nursing school, i was led to believe that there was a system to training new nurses, but i have received nothing resembling a systematic training. should i look for a new job? this hospital pays the best in my area and has fantastic benefits, but the nurses here seem more unhappy than in any of the other places i rotated through in school.

the training that they are trying to provide you with to transition into your icu role seems very inadequate. i would inform your unit manager about your feelings of feeling overwhelmed (we new grads all do, but your hospital doesn't seem to be doing much to help you with that), and i would inquire if there is any way you could start working with a preceptor later ect. (and hopefully the hospital/trainers would be more organized). but other than letting your employer know of your feelings about your training program/preceptors ect., your responsibility to your employer ends there. if they do nothing to help to remedy your situation and help you to feel more comfortable then i definately recommend finding another job, because it's likely nothing will change.

also keep this quote in mind with regard to any workplace:

it takes about one year to feel comfortable in any position in just about any job. if you don't feel comfortable in your position after one year then you know something is seriously wrong with your workplace. not you.

these are words of wisdom from my mentor.

This situation does not sound good. If you are feeling physically ill from stress, it might be time to reassess and move on to a different hospital if at all possible. It sounds like you're getting a cruddy orientation in a very unsupportive environment. Not good things to have if you are a nurse with no experience at all. I don't agree that you should wait a year in this environment. If you have the opportunity, I'd suggest finding another place to be that will give you the orientation you deserve and the support that you vitally need in your first year. Not all places are like this one. I worked at a hospital that gave me a good solid orientation and lots of support and encouragement, so I know good hospitals exist. If the geographical area you are in has a shortage of nurses, cut your losses and don't look back.

Honestly I would NOT have lasted as long as you! :kiss

I'm a new grad and I started in E.R. ... it was aweful....totally thrown to the wolves and w/ a different preceptor each day sooooo I quit. I figured either I quit or I might lose my license, because their too busy to precept me properly or to even care if I'm doing things the way they should be done!

I think the nursing shortage has stressed the system to the point that seasoned nurses are continously overworked and tired of training new hires. Although I know that may be the case, as a new grad I still have to use "my" judgement as to whether I want to stick it out in an environment where "learning the ropes" is rushed, unsafe and unhealthy for my sanity! :uhoh3:

hang in there if you can:uhoh21:......but I would say that if things are not better when you start your critical care training program then I would consider applying elsewhere.

Ohhhhh, as far as the language stuff.......

I would drive them up a wall by saying-

" ...What? ....were you speaking to me?.....did you just say something I should know as part of the team here?.....hey, I want in on the convo what cha talkin' about?....ect., ect. and I suppose if I got REAL irritated I'd probably say "The universal langauge for conversation in the USA is ENGLISH especially in a professional environment, so I'd appreciate if you'd use it so I will know when Im being spoken to....thanks for your cooperation!"

Specializes in Med./Surg., Diabetes, Med. ICU, home hea.

As most have said, I too, feel sorry for your plight. Just reading your accounts, opens wounds I'd thought long healed.

Unfortunately, the answer to your question is most definately "YES." Yes, that is nursing to a "t." Anyone who says diferently is likely a nurse manager who is in denial or outright lying... unless he or she is just plain blind or stupid.

Others have given you advice on how to handle the situation, much better than I could. What I WILL say is this: REMEMBER! Never forget, and, when you are a seasoned nurse, take that frightened new grad under your wing. No matter how much of an inconvenience, NEVER let it show! Yes, administration screws everyone around, suck it up and show that new grad all that you can!

Specializes in NICU, Vascular, Oncology, Telemetry.
I'm a new grad and was hired August 20 for a job in the ICU. Since the critical care training program did not start until mid October, my manager told me that she would place me in the cardiac procedure unit to orient until that time and sign me up for the various orientation classes I needed as a new hire to the hospital. Well, the first month went very poorly. When I showed up in the CPU, nobody was expecting me, nobody knew why I would be placed there, no preceptor was available, etc... I wound up taking an eight hour tour of the hospital with a nurse who obviously had better things to do than to babysit someone's mistake. The next day, I had a preceptor, and we took one patient. The day after that, I had a different preceptor, and we took two patients. The following day, I had the first day's preceptor again, and I was scheduled to take four patients alone (including two new admits and a discharge) with the preceptor shadowing. I told the preceptor that I didn't think I would be able to handle it, particularly since I didn't have my own access to the Pyxis for meds. She was angry and basically then took all the patients herself with me shadowing her and pretty much begging to be shown how to do anything. After that week, I was sent to the TCU, where again nobody was expecting me or knew who I was. They sent me back to the CPU, who sent me to the ASU and so on and so on.

I must have oriented one or two days in every unit and floor of the hospital. After I spent one day in the ICU shadowing a very unhappy nurse, the assistant manager there decided that I needed a definite plan. I was to begin training night shifts in the TCU that next day and to stay in that unit until my critical care training started. When I showed up at 11 that night, nobody was expecting me in the TCU. I couldn't help it, after a month of the same, I started to cry. They sent me to the CPU, where, remembering the three days I had spent there a month before, I actually fared pretty well, taking a full load of (mostly sleeping) patients. The next night, the TCU was ready for me (sort of), and I had a preceptor. I've been working nights there for the past three weeks, and I haven't had the same preceptor more than three days in a row. I am so miserable that I cry every night before I have to go in to work. Every time I show up, the charge nurse looks irritated that she has to find someone for me to work with, and the person I'm assigned to looks positively burdened to have to work with me.

On top of it, most of the nurses in the unit are all from the same country. Although I speak Spanish and Russian as well as English, I (and nobody in my family) would ever dream of speaking those languages in front of people who did not understand them. I don't think that there is the same custom in these nurses' culture as, all night long, they speak their language around and over me as if I weren't even there. Although I'm surrounded by people, I have never felt so lonely.

Last night I felt so nervous about going to work that I couldn't stop throwing up and so I called in sick. I've never called in a sick day at any job before in my life. All of my previous (non-nursing) employers have loved me. I never missed a day of school and graduated near the top of my nursing class. Now I feel like the biggest, dumbest, most unwanted loser. I'm trying to hold out until the promised critical care classes begin in twelve days, but I dread even going in to work tonight.

Are all hospitals like this? Is this what everyone goes through? At nursing school, I was led to believe that there was a system to training new nurses, but I have received nothing resembling a systematic training. Should I look for a new job? This hospital pays the best in my area and has fantastic benefits, but the nurses here seem more unhappy than in any of the other places I rotated through in school.

To the OP: WOW - I have to ask: Do you work at MY hospital? ;) I feel so bad for what you are going through, and wish I could give you a great big hug, probably because I can relate to you.

The getting-thrown-around w/no official preceptor, the "less than friendly" reception (and I'm being KIND when I describe it that way) you get from nurses who have to "take you", and the speaking of languages other than English. I understand the crying, the frustration, and the big looming questions in your mind "Is this IT? Is THIS nursing?" The disenchantment....the heartbreak. I can't say I have a lot of advice or wisdom being new myself, but just know that someone else is in the same boat (probably many of us recent grads!) and that you are NOT alone. I am looking elsewhere because I feel I was trained in an amazing facility and took the first job that was offered to me, even though I had my reservations. My point is, it HAS to be better somewhere -- to be this miserable -- cannot be "IT". I know it doesn't look stellar to be jumping ship, but my bottom line is this: If your employer is not supportive now, will they ever be? I came from a place that was, and I know they exist out there. Best of luck to you and keep us posted!!;)

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