I have been at the same hospital for almost 3 years. Im a full time night charge nurse, and have been in that position for almost a year. Im also considered a preceptor for new nurses.
I just had my annual review about 2 weeks ago and got high scores across the board. I was complimented on being a take charge kind of person, a team player, and someone who is an asset to the floor. There have been a few incidents when I had to call a few employees on the carpet about some issues, but they were dealt with, or so I thought. (One issue was a huge narcotic discrepancy that a nurse tried to cover up, the other involved a CNA leaving the unit and the building without clocking out or telling me that she was leaving, and another nurse covering up for her and lying about the whole issue...stupid stuff, I know.) In fact, my manager told me that she WANTED me to continue to deal with issues like that as they came up.
So I am told on Saturday that I need to meet with my manager. Great, I have 4 days to obsess and worry about it.
In a nut shell, she told me that a few people stated that I was an excellent nurse, etc....but when I am upset, "watch out." I was described as Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. Also, these people apparently find me intimidating.
So I am taking an honest look at myself and my personality. Can I be intimidating? Ive been described as having a strong personality, but I would never bully or intimidate someone. When I am upset, do I show it? Of course I do. I wouldnt describe myself as a Mr Hyde though. Are these areas that I can work on? Absolutely, and I have every intention of doing so.
I am being put back on the floor so I can work on "team building.".....also, my manager feels by not acting in a supervisory position I will have more opportunity to "reconnect" with people. Great...I can handle that. As a charge nurse, we take upto 6 pts during the shift. It can be extremely stressful.
What bothers me is that no specifics were given. They were described as being "very generic" statements. She would not tell me who the people were, just that they came from people who "never complain"...which is why she had to say something.
I thanked her for bringing it to my attention, promised that she would see improvement etc....but inside I am in turmoil. For the next 6 weeks or so, Im going to be under a freaking spotlight.....my manager reassured me several times that I was not being "demoted".....but that I should look at it as a great learning opportunity blah blah blah.
In a perfect world, it WOULD be a great learning opportunity....I would love to smile and think that everything is going to work out. But right now, all I am is hurt and suspicious and bewildered about the whole thing. I mean wouldnt it have been more productive to get all of us (me and whoever it is that finds me to be such a monster) together so we could sort out any misunderstanding?
Its no wonder people are so reluctant to say anything ...... it always seems to come back and bite you in the butt.
