Mean/Competitive nursing school classmates

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I am a RN who just graduated nursing school in May. I went to a very competitive nursing program and could never understand why some of the students were so mean and conniving. Looking back , I did make some good friends, but most of the students pretended to be your friend in hopes of getting study material, but not many true loyal friendships were made. Is this normal?

I'd like to point out that competitive does not equal mean. Nothing wrong with students being competitive.

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I'd like to point out that competitive does not equal mean. Nothing wrong with students being competitive.

Exactly. That's why I keep to myself. The sharing of grades and comparing of projects really stirs up my competitive streak, which cranks up my stress level. Better to just lay low. I have plenty of good friends outside of school. :)

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Specializes in Pediatric, ED.

Cowgirl_RN, I think I must have had the same classmates because those were my exact thoughts! It is really unfortunate. I had never heard or seen so much 'incivility' until I started nursing school. Honestly, I have had to weed through a group of people and found that I could only trust 2 classmates who always had my back. Others.. not so much. I had one student who pretended to be my BFF when she needed something, then when I needed any help she never had anything to share. Another one became really close just to get info on the job at a hospital where I worked. People constantly talked behind each others' backs and complained. 2 of my classmates and I tried all we could to stay out of the 'drama radar'. Since we graduated in May, I've kept in close touch with 3 of my classmates. We took Nclex together on the same day and we all passed. Those of us who stayed true & supported each other while staying out of the drama really became close. We never talked about each other behind our backs but defended and protected each other. You do need this kind of friendship to make it through nursing school and when you graduate, your friendship is that much stronger. Choose your friends wisely.. and stay with the ones that truly have your back. ;) Just my 2 cents!!

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I'd like to point out that competitive does not equal mean. Nothing wrong with students being competitive.

Yes there is!!! They're making me look bad... :cry: ;)

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Not where I went..we readily shared information and tried to support each other. That isn't to say we were all best friends but we understood we were in the program together and tried to make it work. Adding drama on top of the stress of nursing school is pointless.

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Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.

I second pretty much everything that has been said. I wanted to add one more thing though: To defend nursing, nursing is not that only course of study in which students are competitive. And, in some of those other disciplines, the students are downright mean to one another in an attempt to get a leg up (and there is a much heightened atmosphere of competition compared with nursing, often driven by instructors/professors/advisors) . Unfortunately part of this is human nature. I just didn't want people to think that nursing school is the only scholarly pursuit in which there is competition.

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Specializes in Primary Care, OR.
Verily.

I'm glad I'm not the only person who thinks this way. I don't wake up in the morning hoping to make new friends everywhere I go. I'm friendly enough, but I keep to myself if I can. I do get the backlash from people who think I'm some kind of antisocial jerk, but such is life. I find it's easier for me to make good grades and focus on my schooling this way anyway. I have made two friends in nursing school (prereqs, actually) and we three are not members of the class Facebook page, the monthly student's night-out, or any study group. That gives us an "unfriendly B" label but I'm fine with that. To each their own, including those of us who don't make everyone in our class our new BFFs.

So with you on this one... I get a lot of backlash as well. My graduating class is actually known for their drama and constant complaining... all of which I never have anything to do with, I guess thats why admin likes me so much. lol. to students I'm friendly ENOUGH and always willing to help, especially at clinical but I have quick limits. For example:

1) NO I will not share my hard work hand written lecture notes with you because you lazily printed out the professors PowerPoint to "follow along". If a person was absent sure I will share.

2) NO I will NOT share my grades with you, it's none of your business.

3) NO I will NOT give you info about my job or recommend you considering your general attitude towards nursing is undesirable.

4) NO I will NOT sign the petition to move the test to next week because "we have two tests this week", or because thanksgiving is tomorrow. waaaaaa welcome to nursing school!

5) NO I will NOT hang out with you or go to your study group because they usually turn into "b***h fests" where you whine and complain about the professors, students you don't like and how you hate going to clinicals..... Really?!?!

6) oh yea and NO I will NOT "help" you clean up your patients if your just gonna stand there and watch me do all the work and act like holding an arm "like this" is you actually doing something.

I find that I get along more with the professors and nurses on the floor at clinicals and nurses and doctors I work with. We have a lot more in common and a lot more to talk about. Also not bad for networking :up:

But other than that CecixLi is known for a friendly smile, sunglasses and headphones in while traveling the halls. It helps me avoid... Most of the time the volume isn't even on lol.

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So with you on this one... I get a lot of backlash as well. My graduating class is actually known for their drama and constant complaining... all of which I never have anything to do with, I guess thats why admin likes me so much. lol. to students I'm friendly ENOUGH and always willing to help, especially at clinical but I have quick limits. For example:

1) NO I will not share my hard work hand written lecture notes with you because you lazily printed out the professors PowerPoint to "follow along". If a person was absent sure I will share.

2) NO I will NOT share my grades with you, it's none of your business.

3) NO I will NOT give you info about my job or recommend you considering your general attitude towards nursing is undesirable.

4) NO I will NOT sign the petition to move the test to next week because "we have two tests this week", or because thanksgiving is tomorrow. waaaaaa welcome to nursing school!

5) NO I will NOT hang out with you or go to your study group because they usually turn into "b***h fests" where you whine and complain about the professors, students you don't like and how you hate going to clinicals..... Really?!?!

6) oh yea and NO I will NOT "help" you clean up your patients if your just gonna stand there and watch me do all the work and act like holding an arm "like this" is you actually doing something.

I find that I get along more with the professors and nurses on the floor at clinicals and nurses and doctors I work with. We have a lot more in common and a lot more to talk about. Also not bad for networking :up:

But other than that CecixLi is known for a friendly smile, sunglasses and headphones in while traveling the halls. It helps me avoid... Most of the time the volume isn't even on lol.

It must be something in the water fountains. Our head professor (we have 4 each term) actually told me in a sim lab "I don't know what it is about this class but most of you guys are just emotional or abrasive." Not getting that reputation! I'd rather my classmates think I'm antisocial than my professors lump me in with their drama and whining. We had petitions go around too. Grow up people!

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I'm lucky and I got into the program with a very close friend. We are like two peas in a pod, but very friendly. I'm pretty good at sniffing out those bad type personalities and will avoid them at all cost. Nastiness will get you nowhere with me. :)

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Most of my class was this way. I have made a few GREAT friends (ones who I would do anything for because the would do the same for me). I have a few good friends and the rest I am friendly with but it does not go further than that. There are only 30 of us in my class so everyone knows everyone.

I get so frustrated when someone who never speaks to me asks me "can I get your test notes" or "can you tell me some answers on the homework". I want to scream I HARDLY know you!

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So with you on this one... I get a lot of backlash as well. My graduating class is actually known for their drama and constant complaining... all of which I never have anything to do with, I guess thats why admin likes me so much. lol. to students I'm friendly ENOUGH and always willing to help, especially at clinical but I have quick limits. For example:

1) NO I will not share my hard work hand written lecture notes with you because you lazily printed out the professors PowerPoint to "follow along". If a person was absent sure I will share.

2) NO I will NOT share my grades with you, it's none of your business.

3) NO I will NOT give you info about my job or recommend you considering your general attitude towards nursing is undesirable.

4) NO I will NOT sign the petition to move the test to next week because "we have two tests this week", or because thanksgiving is tomorrow. waaaaaa welcome to nursing school!

5) NO I will NOT hang out with you or go to your study group because they usually turn into "b***h fests" where you whine and complain about the professors, students you don't like and how you hate going to clinicals..... Really?!?!

I'm still in pre-reqs, but THIS, THIS, THIS a million times. Everyone in my chem class is treating me like some kind of genius/nerd/potential tutor, and I explained that I remember information very well by taking notes at lecture until my wrist aches. They shrug and keep gazing at their PowerPoint printouts... no wonder they're not getting it!

And there's an unbelievable amount of b***hing about how the prof actually seems to want us all to INTERNALIZE the CONCEPTS, and that she's not, say, giving us the questions that will be on the midterm ahead of time. I do. Not. Get. It.

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In my class, were divided into 2 teams and we didn't even know there was something going on beyond individual rivalries.

So there the left side of the class and the right side of the class. The left side, were just neutral were don't really talk a lot, we do our own things. But the right side, they're like the "lively" side. They talk to each other and they just bust out laughing and whatnot.

I'm at the left side, I just do my thing and leave. But the right side they're conniving. They would start rumors and such. They even went as far as sending us study guides with wrong info. A lot of people fell for it. And to make it worst out professor divided the class into 2 groups -left side and right side- and we play "educational games" and it gets real ugly

Ever since they started messing with us, we at left side started to unite a little

Oh and by the way this is in nursing school.

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