MD Quote of the Week

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Doctor: "Well, she must be bleeding somewhere! Is she bleeding somewhere?"

Me: "She has gross hematuria."

Doctor: "No, no, no, I mean, is she bleeding anywhere. Like a GI bleed, or a brain bleed?"

Well, Doctor, let me get out my CT scan glasses and find a radiologist to go kidnap. So sorry for misunderstanding your question. :uhoh3:

Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.

"She has respirations of 10, so she will probably die today - can I just fill out the death certificate and you'll write in the time when it happens?".

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i had a patient who the docs were looking to discharge. the resident says to me and another nurse standing there,"just check and make sure she can urinate before you take out the foleys" --me and the other nurse look at each other as the md was walking away and start to laugh hysterically. i said to the other nurse...."um.....check before? how the hell does one urinate with a foley in?--did she just say what i think she did?" the nurse (nurse leader) says back to me, "i know i have a horrible cold so maybe i am not hearing right but did she also say folies? how many does she think are in there?" lol

we laughed about that one for a while! i know the doc was probably exhausted and hope she just mispoke and didn't really think you can pee with a foley in or that a person may have in multiple folies! lol

that reminds me of one: female patient out of control, fighting, kicking, screaming, etc. doc wants a foley in. we didn't have enough nurses on the hold her down and put in the foley, so it was decided that the nurses would hold the patient down while the (married) male doctor inserted the foley. he's gloved and ready to go, and we're holding her down, one nurse on each limb and one laying over her torso. doc is staring at the poor woman's crotch in a perplexed manner. "what's wrong," i asked him as i tried to evade the patient's teeth and nails.

"which hole does it go in?"

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Specializes in Primary Care Nursing.
that reminds me of one: female patient out of control, fighting, kicking, screaming, etc. doc wants a foley in. we didn't have enough nurses on the hold her down and put in the foley, so it was decided that the nurses would hold the patient down while the (married) male doctor inserted the foley. he's gloved and ready to go, and we're holding her down, one nurse on each limb and one laying over her torso. doc is staring at the poor woman's crotch in a perplexed manner. "what's wrong," i asked him as i tried to evade the patient's teeth and nails.

"which hole does it go in?"

:yeah::yeah:

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Specializes in ICU/CCU, PICU.

Instead of bashing a physcian, just thought I would say something that I found funny.

Hx: Materials arrived in an unmarked envelope for a physican. I handed it to him and it said "I hope it's not a subpoena!"

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.
Instead of bashing a physcian, just thought I would say something that I found funny.

Hx: Materials arrived in an unmarked envelope for a physican. I handed it to him and it said "I hope it's not a subpoena!"

???Sorry, I don't get it????

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Specializes in Primary Care Nursing.

"Patients cannot go into asystole if they have a pacemaker."

Granted it was 0200 and I hate to wake the physician, who was obviously not fully awake.

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Specializes in Oncology.
I don't get it; docs depend on us for information and suggestions. What's wrong with it? I just don't get why this post is trying to make docs look dumb.

In all the posts on this thread, the docs were asking a nurse for information that the nurse (IMO) should have been able to provide. We must be able to get along with each other. Having suggestion and solutions available is part of the relationship that we share IMO. Many times we are the eyes and ears for the docs; if they trust a nurse enough to want an opinion about what's best for a patient............how is that wrong?

I realize there are some real A holes out there but the same applies to nursing. We shouldn't let a few ruin the delicate, vital relationship that we share with each other.

It's funny because I told him a source of bleeding, then he blew that off like I didn't understand the question and asked me if the patient had a brain bleed, something no one can diagnose without a CT scan. I did answer him seriously, though.

He's not a bad doctor, and I don't disrespect him, but it was funny to me. I'm sure I've said stupid things before that sound funny, and I know everyone does. I'm sure we could make an RN quote thread and people would have funny quote to contribute. I'm sure the student doctor network has threads about stupid things RNs say.

This wasn't meant to be a thread to rag on incompetent doctors. I think the doctor in the OP is quite competent, it was just a funny thing to say.

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Teenage patient in with "altered mental status" the prior evening, then in the morning had a migraine and nausea/vomiting. She got the full workup, CTs, MRIs. So I get this patient, then later on when the PA for neuro is about to go in the room, she stops and says they're probably going to send her home with some migraine medicine. And I say, "You saw that her alcohol level was (whatever it was)?" The PA replied:

Well yeah, but that's low.

She ignored it. So when neurologist got there, I pointed it out to him. He was not very happy with his PA.

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Specializes in Oncology.
My God, what was the outcome? :eek:

The patient was dropping her BP from sepsis, not bleeding like he was considering. Luckily, she was well covered on antibiotics and healed nicely.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, DSU, Ortho, Onc, Psych.

Next time tell the Dr that your crystal ball isn't working - and see what they say then (my old Dr used to say this to people who asked stupid questions).

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@Tyvin....

Lighten up!

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Specializes in OB, L&D, NICU, Med-Surg, Ortho.
I don't get it; docs depend on us for information and suggestions. What's wrong with it? I just don't get why this post is trying to make docs look dumb.

In all the posts on this thread, the docs were asking a nurse for information that the nurse (IMO) should have been able to provide.

Sure, the nurses may KNOW what the answer should be, but... it's the doctor's job to know this. I worry when doctors start asking us for medications and diagnosis. When I started med-surg out of nursing school, there were so many residents/docs with privileges at the hospital that they didn't know a new nurse from an experienced nurse. When I would call for orders, I was mortified when they said "What do you think we should do/give/etc?" WHAT? Me? I am NOT the one who went to medical school! Docs go through eight years of college including medical school. I went to a two year program at a community college to become a nurse. At that time, I had only worked as a nurse for 3 weeks! Fortunately for them, I would tell them that. I have worked with some know-it-all grads who would ask for crap that isn't relevant.

I realize Docs have to learn too. If they aren't sure, they need to consult with another doc - not place their license at risk by asking the voice on the other end of the line what to do. I am not trying to underestimate our knowledge - but we aren't docs. Unless they know they are speaking to Nurse Jones who really knows her stuff, why would they risk their license by asking the nearest RN they are not familiar with how to diagnose a patient?

I don't mind when a doctor wants my opinion, but when they want me to do their job and diagnose/treat patients? No thank you. Are they going to do mine? Not likely. I work for a smaller facility now and we work with the same few doctors in OB over and over. They know us by name and they know our skill level. They know who is new and who has experience. I am comfortable with us talking over patient care when making decisions because it is such a small group and we know each other. I did not feel that kind of comfort with most doctors at the larger facility.

Again - I'm not trying to undermine our knowledge, but.. there is a reason we do not prescribe medicine. There is a reason we do not diagnose patients. When doctors ask us to do these things, they are asking us to step outside our "scope of practice" and that is not fair to us. It puts us in a no-win situation. If we answer, we are operating outside our scope, if we don't know then the doc may think we are an idiot (Even though he doesn't know the answer either). With the modern age of PDAs and cellphones, I can't help but wonder why docs don't communicate with each other better.

As far as funny thing - in an ER report. Our patient had stepped on a rake and it had punctured her foot. She came in with the rake protruding from her foot. MD wrote in the notes "Patient still wearing her thong" It sounded like he was peeking up her skirt while doctoring her foot! He meant flip-flop or sandal, but it gave us a pretty good chuckle. He edited it later that night when the patient made it to the unit and he read his transcription.

~Sherri :)

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