Published May 24, 2005
being a male in nursing field, sometimes i feel like being marginalized.
female nursing students help each other and have a great support base to get through the nursing education. anybody had such feeling about being marginalized?
i wonder it would be really tough to work with several girls around. what if i will be miserable every day in my work with female nurses who don't like male nurses?
i would like to hear from you about how i can be more acceptable to female dominated profession. what kind of people skills should, male nurses develop to work effectively with female nurses?
Brotherbob, BSN, RN
It is not about being acceptable to the women. They will respect you if you show some self confidence. A man in a female dominated field will be different, be proud of it and the women will like you.
I guess a peolpe skill to develop is a sense of humor, I feel great every time I can make a lady with a bad case of PMS laugh.
My brother is 6ft. 3inches, 205 pounds and pretty brawny. He's been a nurse for about 20 years now. Only rarely has he had any male-female conflict at work. Some times he feels a little put-upon when female nurses just expect him to do the heavy lifting without apparent appreciation. But apart from that, he's always been part of the team and treated as such.
being a male in nursing field, sometimes i feel like being marginalized. female nursing students help each other and have a great support base to get through the nursing education. anybody had such feeling about being marginalized? i wonder it would be really tough to work with several girls around. what if i will be miserable every day in my work with female nurses who don't like male nurses?i would like to hear from you about how i can be more acceptable to female dominated profession. what kind of people skills should, male nurses develop to work effectively with female nurses?
no need to worry ....my best friends at work are the guys. you get a bunch of women working together in a contained space and you are just asking for trouble. the guys in general are more laid back...and in our unit a real hoot. i say we need more men in nursing...it makes for a more fun working environment.
barefootlady, ADN, RN
The last male nurse I worked with loved being "picked-on" by some of us. He was and is a wonderful nurse and he is a good person to have around in a real bind, like a code, or a violent patient. No, we did not expect him to jump up and place himself in danger if someone started slugging, but he could and did stop some bad situations just by showing his face in the door. I miss working with him. He did not leave because a nurse did not show him respect, but the pay was better at another job. Just do your job, treat the other staff with respect, help if you are able and time allows, and most of the female staff will treat you well. Some people are mean to everybody so don't think it is because you are male. Check their track record, I bet they have a record of being nasty on a regular basis to other staff no matter what their sex.
. . . . . . . . . . .what kind of people skills should, male nurses develop to work effectively with female nurses?
and what kind of people skills should female nurses develop to work effectively with male nurses? :chuckle
i haven't really seen male vs female problems but i've seen a whole lot of one personality vs another at work. no worries, man. people skills work for all. you are either with the team or you are against it. it only works smoothly if all members are working toward the same goal.
"the journey is the reward"
interesting that you feel like this.
I dont think feeling marginalised is necessarily a male thing. nurses (in my experiance) tend to be terratorial. they are protective of the areas that they work in. I work in General Practice- I'm an NP and a generalist. I get marginalised by other nurses because I'm not a 'real nurse'. I dont do the stuff they do- and they think I should do more training!! (yeh right)
its about being confident and letting it wash over you a lot of the time.. as a nurse, frankly, I dont care what colour, sex or age you are... just do the job and be someone I can rely on. thats all I ask. And I like working with men- I like the SOH and the fact that men arent as *****y as women. some of the best nurses I know are men. I trained a long time ago and we had 10 men in our group... they are all still working as nurses- one at Great ormond street- he says the babies dont answer him back! another is a health visitor and loved by his patients, another is working as a matron in australia running a hospital... they are all great nurses and I am lucky to have trained with them. ok- I admit lifting with them was interesting... I'm 5'1 and one of them is 6'3!!!
so be proud of who you are and ignore them.. its their problem, not yours!
Don't try to be the big tuough guy.
Dont make jokes/comments that can be percived as sexual or discriminatory
Don't "check them out" no matter how discrete you try to be you will get cuaght.
Don't let them make you into the "heavy lifter" if you do this you will find your self hadeling a pateint load + all the lifting on the floor. helping out is fine just don't let them feel good about calling you every time lifting needs to be done.
Don't let them treat you badly because you are male. You do have to respect the fact that you are a minority in a female dominated feild you can do this by being respectful of your coworkers and women in general. You shoudl expect the same in return. If they make you the butt of their jokes or make disparageing comments about men dont repond at all just walk away. You are out numbered dont take on a battle you cant win instead choose not to fight... just walk away.
If all else fails look for antoher job. If the place you are working is hostile, get out. It's not worth living with stress when RN's can find a job so easily. I personaly woudlent want to file a discrimination suite becsue I think it would be really hard for a man to win not to mention it would most likely be humiliating.
Tweety, BSN, RN
Make sure you're not internalizing any feelings of marginalization and alienating yourself. Concentrate on being the best you can be and let go of the rest. Respect is earned. A good nurse will shine out above the rest be they male or female.
You like OSHO .
I liked him too .
He is one of the greatest Thinker from INDIA .
He is really good .
I like him too
nursemike, ASN, RN
I agree with the suggestion that you shouldn't marginalize yourself. If you feel like the odd man out, you probably will be, but if you assume you are going to fit in, you probably will. I would add that you shouldn't go too much by school experiences. As tough as nursing school is, it's still school, and in many ways is very different from the real world.
Be genuine. You sound like you are new to this (me too) so don't be afraid to ask for help--but pay attention to which nurses are most willing to be helpful. Some won't feel they have time to mentor you, but others actually enjoy doing so. Try not to resent the ones who act like they are too busy--maybe they are. In trades, a journeyman is someone who has the skills to do the work, but a master is someone who can also teach. Not everyone will have mastered her field, yet.
I also concur with not ogling, but that isn't to say you can't look. The women you work with will indeed know if you are "checking them out." Most won't mind, if you're decent about it. Everyone likes to feel attractive, but hardly anyone likes to feel threatened. I would also avoid any flirting until you are sure who doesn't object, and by "flirting" I mean nice, wholesome fun. Crudeness is not likely to fly, period. Even if the recipient doesn't mind, others will. If you flirt, flirt like you are in church. But don't even do that until you get to know people.
A lot of these threads deal with how different it is, being a man. For many of us, it is a new experience, being in the minority. But I think we tend to overstate the differences a good bit, just for the sake of discussion. In reality, we are all adult human beings, which is quite a lot to have in common. Plus, here, we're all nurses or want to be nurses, so we share a common dementia. A man who wants to be a nurse has more in common with a woman who wants to be a nurse than with a sane person of either gender.
Don't worry so much about the idea of marginalization unless that's just code for self-isolation. If the personality is in check and you have a good care-free attitude the women will come around. A few points of concern for women in the profession is that either the male could present any one of these three areas: gay, sexist, or threat. If a man is gay that could work either his advantage or disadvantage (reasons should be obvious). If a man is sexist (and not in the strictest sense) then a woman could feel a bit on the defensive. And last if the man is a handsome, intelligent, on-point, go-to, hands-on, johnny-on-the-spot sort the she's if for a run for her money. Either way, your knowledge of your profession and the skills you bring to the table will work for you in school or in the field.
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