how many nursing students/nurses believe they were abused, bullied, by nursing school inst

[gracie lewis]

I want so much to be a nurse. At 40 years old, I finally overcame many of the issues that kept me trapped in " I wish I would've, could've". Diagnosed with a learning disability, a reading disorder, depression, getting use to the emotions that come with a colostomy, and PTSD was a lot to come to terms with and to manage. With lots of work, I and my therapist/ADD coach, agreed that I should go ahead and apply.

I applied, went through all the testing, and finally entered nursing school. Yes, it was as difficult as I had heard, but it also was very fulfilling. On the way home from clinicals, I was so tired, and hopeful, and happy about all I had learned. Caring for clients-even the fussy ones- made me feel that I was actually contributing to the improvement of their health. The way theory classes were presented was very boring. But when I read alone and with my study group, I loved how the words came to life. Many times my classmates would clarify and explain concepts that our degreed instructor was clueless about.

The Problem: Initially, I thought it was my age. Next, I thought it was my personality. Maybe my asking for help during office hours was too much, or asking my instructor what does this concept actually mean and how does it look in a client was problematic. Never, never, did I want to say, it was my race.

As I watched how I was treated, counseled, corrected, reprimanded, answered, as much as I tried to rationalize the behavior of the leaders in my program; when classmates questioned me about "what had I done to make her (the instructor) speak to you like that" or "she gave extra credit for that assignment" (which I did not receive-even after I brought it to her attention), two of us in the same clinical class failed clinical and passed theory. My classmate missed a lot of the clinical days because of her job was encouraged and allowed to remediate the clinical and then progress forward. I on the other hand missed one clinical day. Asked another instructor if I could make the day up with her weekend group. She said yes and gave me a good evaluation and thought I was on level with the other students. Nevertheless, I still failed. I asked the Director of Nursing for remediation; she asked the Assistant Director and I received a NO with no explanation. I mentioned what my classmate had received after missing 5 days and asked what was the difference in our situations. I was informed that - they didn't owe me an explanation and I would have to go through the appeal process. I respected these women. I wanted to be a nurse like they are. I admired them for the positions they held and because they were the leaders of our program. Yet, I could not wrap my head around how blatantly disrespectful, and bias they were being.

I sought out another teacher that I had a good rapport with and asked her to help me understand what I was missing. I shared with her what I had experienced (of course, she already knew). I also shared with her that I was beginning to doubt myself in a huge way. I just could not accept that I was not on their most likely to succeed list. I thought the administrators and the instructors were vested in ALL of us getting the best education possible and becoming the safest nurses possible. I answered repeatedly, no, they were not prejudice, or racist - they wanted the best for all of us.

After my appeal was denied, ( I asked for an Incomplete), I received an F and had to repeat.

I heard over and over again that I was screwed. There are many many occasions of students failing either theory or clinical and being allowed to progress to the next theory level and repeating the clinical or receiving remediation. I personally knew one classmate and I met another one through someone else. They, not I, concluded that it was my race, my disability, and my age. Because I was fifteen years their senior, I still could not say those words to anyone. Yet, it was becoming clear to me that I had a real problem. I could not and did not want to face that reality.

The next semester was even worst. I believe now that my refusal or inability to acknowledge that these people who I thought wanted the best for me as they did for every other student in the program; did not have that view of me. I was not nurse material. I had a learning disability. I was older than some of the instructors. Nursing, my next clinical instructor said during orientation, was a young persons game. I did not take it personally because I felt that I was in good shape physically, and my depression and disability were being managed effectively with counseling and medication. I know I pulled my weight during clinical. Additionally, I scraped by in theory. NO, I was not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but from the feedback I received, I was doing as well as everyone else on my level.

I ended up failing that clinical too, and passed the theory. This failure led to my being dismissed from the program. This instructor told me two days before the semester ended that I was in danger of failing. Two days before the end of the semester. The class received no mid-term grade. I was astounded by this news. I asked what was I doing wrong? The instructor had a about four things she had OBSERVED me doing wrong!! Wow, observed me for eight weeks doing the wrong thing!! Why collect these deficiencies? Why not correct me during week one and I would have been proficient by the time the class was over!! Again, I asked for remediation, I was told to appeal the grade again. I appealed. Lost the appeal and I was dismissed from the program.

Recently, I asked for the specific guidelines needed to be readmitted. I was told by the Director of Nursing that I had to reapply and a new student.

I did not include about four or five instances where I received different treatment that my white, younger classmates, who did not have a learning disability.

To reapply as a new student, means having to pay for all those classes again. My family and friends are not able to support me anymore. Besides my other disorders, I now have another one Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

May I share this. With undiagnosed learning disabilities, and undiagnosed depression, malabsorption disorder, colon cancer (remission), I routinely quit anything that became too hard for me. I grew into young adulthood with that bad habit. If I thought I was going to fail a class, I would drop it or just stop going. Failure was not an insult to me. But after having to have a colostomy ( which I thought was the worst thing that could happen besides death). I thanked God for giving me a new life and I promised I would do my best in every thing I attempted. I believe today, that I was doing just that in nursing school. I was doing the best I could is why it hurts so much to be abused and pre-judged by persons entrusted to provide all students with equal learning opportunities.

Additionally, the abuse of power, the lack of transparency, the bullying, the blatant disregard for the laws that protect persons with disabilities are all issues that I believe must be openly discussed and resolved. I paid for these opportunities. I paid for Mrs. Jones to correct me the first day I did something wrong. That is what teaching is. Teachers don't collect deficiencies until the end of the semester to hold against students - to fail students. Do you know how much damage I could have done doing the wrong thing all semester?

I am of the opinion that if I was bad enough to be dismissed, Mrs. Jones too, should have been dismissed. Why is the student held to a higher level of responsibility than that of the the instructor? As for the Director of Nursing, and the Assistant Director of Nursing, the behavior of these two is reprehensible. The leaders of the program - openly- disregarding the law. Also, allowing students to see persons in authority treating students differently makes it more difficult to welcome diversity into nursing programs. How do we confront these individuals

[DeeAngel]

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that if you have a Generalized Anxiety Disorder, nursing and nursing school is going to be so difficult that I would encourage you to look for other educational opportunities. I am not saying this to mean, truly, but I see seasoned nurses close to tears nearly every day simply because of their workload and the level of craziness and stress they deal with in the workplace. I'm talking nurses with ten and twenty years experience here. Nursing school, nursing and anxiety do not go well together.

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

Without going into 90% of what you posted, I think the remainder is enough for me to suggest that this may not be the right path for you. Regardless of what should have happened, whether your teacher was unfair, and all the rest I'm going to make no judgments on either way, one thing does seem clear to me. Given the status of your physical and mental health, I would not be certain that this type of program, and this type of career would be beneficial to you. As the above member stated, nursing as a job is enough to make seasoned nurses stressed to tears; in your particular (somewhat fragile?) situation, I think it would be unhealthy for you to resume this line of study.

You could disagree, I understand, and decide to move forward anyway; I am only seeing a synopsis, just what you posted. And, as I said before, I will only comment that I would worry about your ability to handle all that school--and nursing--has to throw at you at this stage (and situation) of your life.

Best of luck to you however you decide to proceed.

[marvelmom]

I'm not going to say you can or cannot handle being a nurse because I don't know you but I want to mention that I am diagnosed with ptsd, gad, bipolar, and mdd. I am a nurse and I wouldn't have my career another way. Yes it's stressful and yes some days I wonder why I am in this field (we all have them) but when I have a patient tell me their whole day is better when they notice I'm their nurse it reminds me that the stress is a minor part of the job compared to the major impact I am having on my patients and their health.

My suggestion is to apply at a different school with a fresh outlook and get into therapy, if you aren't already, to learn how to manage the stressful situations that you will undoubtedly encounter as a nurse. It is absolutely possible to be a nurse with psychological disabilities.

[KatRNStudent]

First of all do not let others tell you what career path is or is not for you on here. You seem like a bright dedicated student nurse. I know many people who have gotten the grades.. gotten into the program.. gotten to clinicals and then left the school midway through. Why? Because of their instructors. One friend of mine a 4.0 gpa mother and wife left a University nursing program because the instructors did not grade fairly and made a habit of beating down their student nurses at clinicals so bad they left in tears on a daily basis. I don't care what others opinions are.. nursing is a Stuck up field to go into! It's tough it's no fair and its bs to be frank. But if one school is not working you move on to a school that does. There are programs everywhere and there is no reason you should stay at that place with the bad reputation they are gaining by treating their paying students that way. Move on.. leave a complaint with the BBB and go someplace that appreciates their students. You CAN do it!

[missmollie, ADN, BSN, RN]

I read your entire post. You write eloquently and it is obvious that you are an intelligent, observant person. I don't know why you failed clinical. I need a better picture and an idea of what exactly it was you failed at doing.

Yes, the clinical instructor should have corrected you, she should have taught you, she should not have allowed you to repeat the same mistakes on patients for 8 weeks in a row. That is simply uncalled for and would cause harm to come to numerous different patients.

I cannot comment based on the picture you paint above, but I am concerned with the idea that they are discriminating you based on a disability. How do they know about the disability? You state that it might be your mental status, your colostomy bag, and your different racial background. Based on what you say, everything has gone fine in your eyes, and they shouldn't be biased based on your disabilities. I disagree. Example: If you became very angry with patients almost to the point of abuse, then yes, they should "discriminate" and consider you unacceptable for patient care. Having a disability doesn't mean that you can continue on with life with the expectation that there will be a different set of rules. I'm not saying that this has happened, I'm simply saying that I am unable to discern from your post what the situation is.

I know you must be hurt and disappointed. You've given it your all, and I'm not sure what recourse there is for you. You could try another school, you could try to re-apply. I'm sure this is difficult for you.

I hope everything turns out for the best, but I urge you to consider why you were failed. I wish you the very best.

[Fruit Sucker]

Let me say that in my program there have been many, many students of color and older students who were successful. Could it be a problem at the school you are attending? It sounds from your post like there are not a lot of other older students of the same race you can talk to and see if they have experienced something similar. I am not sure how you are the only one, because again at my school we have a lot of ethnic diversity and most of our students are older (including myself).

That said, I agree with the other poster that we don't know what your professors said your problems were in clinical. If it was something like repeatedly making med errors or bad interpersonal skills with patients, that is not good.

Nursing school is very stressful and demanding. A lot of our students have developed anxiety attacks since we started. It's not unusual. I can't tell you that a program like this isn't a good fit for you, but I can say that it sounds like you have a lot of issues that will make it hard for you to succeed. Is it possible for you to explore other options that would keep you in the medical field but would be less demanding?

[windsurfer8, BSN, RN]

Just because someone CAN do something does not mean they should. Some people are good fits for nursing and others are not. The OP states she has a habit of quitting things she starts. If you are a patient do you want someone with this work habit and multitude of issues taking care of you? Nursing school was hard..heck yes.but having a ton of problems with instructors and department heads? Just get in there and get it done and get out. Like 99% of the students. I am wary of people with endless problems just with nursing school. I am not judging and I hope she finds a career she enjoys. If you are that miserable and that many issues with nursing school you may want to try different options. Or try nursing school again. It is up to you...but I would say let the meaningless arguments slide off your back and just do what the instructors say to do. That is it.

[nursel56]

I want so much to be a nurse. At 40 years old, I finally overcame many of the issues that kept me trapped in " I wish I would've, could've". Diagnosed with a learning disability, a reading disorder, depression, getting use to the emotions that come with a colostomy, and PTSD was a lot to come to terms with and to manage. With lots of work, I and my therapist/ADD coach, agreed that I should go ahead and apply.

I applied, went through all the testing, and finally entered nursing school. Yes, it was as difficult as I had heard, but it also was very fulfilling. On the way home from clinicals, I was so tired, and hopeful, and happy about all I had learned. Caring for clients-even the fussy ones- made me feel that I was actually contributing to the improvement of their health. The way theory classes were presented was very boring. But when I read alone and with my study group, I loved how the words came to life. Many times my classmates would clarify and explain concepts that our degreed instructor was clueless about.

The Problem: Initially, I thought it was my age. Next, I thought it was my personality. Maybe my asking for help during office hours was too much, or asking my instructor what does this concept actually mean and how does it look in a client was problematic.

Never, never, did I want to say, it was my race.

As I watched how I was treated, counseled, corrected, reprimanded, answered, as much as I tried to rationalize the behavior of the leaders in my program; when classmates questioned me about "what had I done to make her (the instructor) speak to you like that" or "she gave extra credit for that assignment" (which I did not receive-even after I brought it to her attention), two of us in the same clinical class failed clinical and passed theory. My classmate missed a lot of the clinical days because of her job was encouraged and allowed to remediate the clinical and then progress forward. I on the other hand missed one clinical day. Asked another instructor if I could make the day up with her weekend group. She said yes and gave me a good evaluation and thought I was on level with the other students. Nevertheless, I still failed. I asked the Director of Nursing for remediation; she asked the Assistant Director and I received a NO with no explanation. I mentioned what my classmate had received after missing 5 days and asked what was the difference in our situations. I was informed that - they didn't owe me an explanation and I would have to go through the appeal process. I respected these women. I wanted to be a nurse like they are. I admired them for the positions they held and because they were the leaders of our program. Yet, I could not wrap my head around how blatantly disrespectful, and bias they were being.

I sought out another teacher that I had a good rapport with and asked her to help me understand what I was missing. I shared with her what I had experienced (of course, she already knew). I also shared with her that I was beginning to doubt myself in a huge way. I just could not accept that I was not on their most likely to succeed list. I thought the administrators and the instructors were vested in ALL of us getting the best education possible and becoming the safest nurses possible. I answered repeatedly, no, they were not prejudice, or racist - they wanted the best for all of us.

After my appeal was denied, ( I asked for an Incomplete), I received an F and had to repeat.

I heard over and over again that I was screwed. There are many many occasions of students failing either theory or clinical and being allowed to progress to the next theory level and repeating the clinical or receiving remediation. I personally knew one classmate and I met another one through someone else. They, not I, concluded that it was my race, my disability, and my age. Because I was fifteen years their senior, I still could not say those words to anyone. Yet, it was becoming clear to me that I had a real problem. I could not and did not want to face that reality.

The next semester was even worst. I believe now that my refusal or inability to acknowledge that these people who I thought wanted the best for me as they did for every other student in the program; did not have that view of me. I was not nurse material. I had a learning disability. I was older than some of the instructors. Nursing, my next clinical instructor said during orientation, was a young persons game. I did not take it personally because I felt that I was in good shape physically, and my depression and disability were being managed effectively with counseling and medication. I know I pulled my weight during clinical. Additionally, I scraped by in theory. NO, I was not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but from the feedback I received, I was doing as well as everyone else on my level.

I ended up failing that clinical too, and passed the theory. This failure led to my being dismissed from the program. This instructor told me two days before the semester ended that I was in danger of failing. Two days before the end of the semester. The class received no mid-term grade. I was astounded by this news. I asked what was I doing wrong? The instructor had a about four things she had OBSERVED me doing wrong!! Wow, observed me for eight weeks doing the wrong thing!! Why collect these deficiencies? Why not correct me during week one and I would have been proficient by the time the class was over!! Again, I asked for remediation, I was told to appeal the grade again. I appealed. Lost the appeal and I was dismissed from the program.

Recently, I asked for the specific guidelines needed to be readmitted. I was told by the Director of Nursing that I had to reapply and a new student.

I did not include about four or five instances where I received different treatment that my white, younger classmates, who did not have a learning disability.

To reapply as a new student, means having to pay for all those classes again. My family and friends are not able to support me anymore. Besides my other disorders, I now have another one Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

May I share this. With undiagnosed learning disabilities, and undiagnosed depression, malabsorption disorder, colon cancer (remission), I routinely quit anything that became too hard for me. I grew into young adulthood with that bad habit. If I thought I was going to fail a class, I would drop it or just stop going. Failure was not an insult to me. But after having to have a colostomy ( which I thought was the worst thing that could happen besides death). I thanked God for giving me a new life and I promised I would do my best in every thing I attempted. I believe today, that I was doing just that in nursing school. I was doing the best I could is why it hurts so much to be abused and pre-judged by persons entrusted to provide all students with equal learning opportunities.

Additionally, the abuse of power, the lack of transparency, the bullying, the blatant disregard for the laws that protect persons with disabilities are all issues that I believe must be openly discussed and resolved. I paid for these opportunities. I paid for Mrs. Jones to correct me the first day I did something wrong. That is what teaching is. Teachers don't collect deficiencies until the end of the semester to hold against students - to fail students. Do you know how much damage I could have done doing the wrong thing all semester?

I am of the opinion that if I was bad enough to be dismissed, Mrs. Jones too, should have been dismissed. Why is the student held to a higher level of responsibility than that of the the instructor? As for the Director of Nursing, and the Assistant Director of Nursing, the behavior of these two is reprehensible. The leaders of the program - openly- disregarding the law. Also, allowing students to see persons in authority treating students differently makes it more difficult to welcome diversity into nursing programs. How do we confront these individuals

Welcome to allnurses! So sorry you have had such a difficult time both prior to and during nursing school. The details of how you went from getting good grades and tired but happy in clinicals are a bit too sketchy to formulate advice on now, but the problems you allude to would rise above "bullying" in any case.

First, you mentioned that you and your therapist worked together in deciding when to apply to nursing school. If you haven't continued to work with your therapist throughout your recent ordeals you should do that right away!

You've mentioned that you may be experiencing racial discrimination, age discrimination, and violations of the ADA.

You may be facing financial loss as a result of school expenses paid prior to your dismissals Professional legal advice is indicated in that instance, as well as to advise you on your rights under the civil rights laws and the ADA.

If you think you have been discriminated against you should avail yourself of the help the government has put in place to help people in your situation. It isn't a step to be taken lightly but if you really believe it is based on your race you need to do this.

How to File a Discrimination Complaint with the Office for Civil Rights

How to File an ADA Complaint with the U.S. Department of Justice

They can evaluate details we can't, and shouldn't. It isn't a good idea to put a lot of details in public anyway. Again so sorry for what happened, but knowledge is power. All the best!

[mintygirl]

If you truly felt like the victim of a bully and that the nursing program was out to get you, you should have just left the program vs failing out of clinical. Take time off to address your mental and emotional needs then re-apply to a new one.

It would have been the better route to go, the option that an adult would choose. No it wouldn't have been easy and you might have had misgivings about it, but later in life you would have thanked yourself for staying away from a bad program that is essentially supposed to prepare you for your nursing career.

Granted this isn't the popular choice because a lot of people like to hear otherwise, to be consoled, but it changes nothing You'll still be in a program that is biased, unfair and discourteous to you.

Take it as a learning lesson that no one in life has your back, including your peers and instructors. Essentially the nurse instructors have one job and its not to get you to pass theory or clinical, that's you - that's self study, but rather its to remedy any weakness in your character as a nurse.

It's true that often times many nursing students will feel like they are "being attacked" and I've seen nursing instructors respond roughly to nursing students, with said student in return chalking up their inadequacies to race cards, age cards, gender cards. I usually tell them the same thing I'm telling you. It's 50/50. Either they really are bullying you for god knows what petty issue or they aren't and you need to toughen up, speak up, etc etc.

Because eventually you'll stand alone and other people will be looking to you for answers, patients will be in your care and you have to be more than just book smart, but compete too.

You mentioned mental health to us, but you need to address it. Have you not heard of Maslow Hierarchy of Needs? Its usually the first thing they teach nurses: take care of yourself, otherwise you are not fit to care for others.