Managers that don't like you.....ever been there?

[HeatherGurl84]

I was just curious to hear from other nurses on this subject. At my last nursing position in a community health clinic, I LOVED what I did and got along well with my nurse manager. She complimented me frequently and gave me special projects to work on which I loved!

About 5 months into work, a new nursing manager was hired and I immediately began getting notes in my mailbox from her containing information on things I needed to improve upon, was called into her office frequently for her to correct something I had done or for her to talk to me about my responsibilities. I NEVER received any reprimands from my other manager so this floored me!!!

I was even told that it as inappropriate and unprofessional for me to ask a nurse practitioner questions. This manager walked by in clinic one day when I was asking our NP about a disease process I didn't understand. Well she called me into her office and I received a stern warning about that.

Needless to say, a month after she came on board I was called into her office, and was flat out told that it would be best for me to resign because if she were to "dismiss" me.....she could make it very hard for me to find another job. I felt threatened and in turn, resigned.

I was dumbfounded!!!! I had never been in trouble before this, received a great review from other managers, and loved my job. This all happened a quite a while ago.....but it made me want to ask if anyone has ever dealt with a manager or higher-up authority that just did not like you?

It is something I never want to deal with again but I understand that not everyone will like you. So spill the beans if you've ever been in a similar situation, and how you handled it.

[krwrnbsn]

Yes, I have had a situation where my mgr did not like me. Although I could never really say specifically "why". She cannot find any fault with my performance but basically tried to punish me by giving me the worst of the worst. I just continued doing my job and doing it very well. Personally, I feel that managers like this are threatened by something they "see" in us. I am very sorry about your situation and wish you the best in your career. Do not let this incident control you. Hugs

[HHN2472]

Geez... If she really has it "in for you", if it were me, I would find one of my low life buddies who owes me a favor to make her life a living hell with no way to really trace it back to me. Just kidding... If you know what you are doing is right and she is bullying you, report her. Have it on record and make dang sure she knows that you are keeping record for future litigation purposes. Fix her little wagon where it won't roll. You are a professional, not some lowly little bug to be stepped on! You deserve as much respect as she does. How dare her. I think people care too much or think there is too much to lose for standing up for yourself. There is never anything more you can lose than your self respect. I refuse to allow someone to try and degrade me, whether it means my job or not.

[all4neuro]

I hired an employment specialist attorney. It was VERY worth it. He advised me NOT to report it to HR, they work for the company, and will do their best to "cover" for the manager.

Also, not to tell anyone I hired him. (This I already knew)

He stated managers like this will mess-up really bad, and to expect that they will cross the line. I took all of my documentation (of their inappropriate behavior, bullying, put-downs, threats, etc. along with witnesses, or those in the room) to the Ethics and Compliance department, and then to my managers boss.

Request another person of your choosing be in all meetings the "bully" has with you.

Managers have to have a paper trail of write ups before they fire you, and a lot of these managers do it frequently over a short period of time. This is unprofessional, and they can be called out for it.

She was fired within 3 months that I started to take action.

It is hard enough being a female period, plus being a RN, and also I have daughters that I want to set an example for. I WILL not let anyone "bully" me, threaten, or accuse me of false claims without a fight!! I had time invested on the unit that I worked hard for, I wasn't going to start over.

[xoemmylouox, ASN, RN]

I has a similar manger. Nothing I did was good enough, I always got the worst assignments, etc. Of course when she found out I was transferring out she tried to be all sweet and told me how great I was. Once she learned I didn't care what she thought and that I was still transferring she had a bogus write up for me to try to prevent the transfer. Guess who left and has never looked back :)

[HeatherGurl84]

Each one of you offering advice has been very valuable to me! This experience taught me that I am not a bug to be stepped on! I hated that I did leave but I just couldn't take the environment. A job I once loved was making me come home daily in tears. All of the managers at this workplace were very chummy, going on frequent lunchdates and they would protect each other to the end of te earth and back. You would see them prance out arm in arm while their nurses were drowning with work, not once did they offer help. You had to BEG when you were busy. You would ask a manager or help and the response would often be "I am too busy writing this email.".....it was a toxic environment to say the least.

I am currently in interviews for another community health position at a different workplace and am praying I get an offer. I LOVE teaching others and want to make it my specialty. This experience won't stop me from succeeding. I am not the type of person whose into revenge, but being highly successful and loving what I do is "sweet revenge" to me :)

[enchantmentdis, BSN, RN]

Yep. I have been in the same position as the OP. I had a great job for 3 years; great reviews from my manager, no write ups; and because of that, i absolutely loved going to work. In comes a new manager(because the former one was actually handling two departments, was over-worked; and now is handling only one dept). New manager, right from the start, had issues with me. I was called into her office every other week for months. Yet, she didn't do a yearly eval on me and most of the staff. Write ups were frequent. I would spend all morning dreading a phone call from this person. She rode my butt right out of a job. The resentment and anger after losing the job lasted one week and I found another job with more money and less stress 18 days after leaving. Thank God. I chalk the experience up to the company cleaning house, getting rid of older nurses, they have a wage increase freeze, moved the office to a new business park, and the company has a high turnover. I noticed four nurses who worked there over three years all of a sudden leaving. Oh well, i just had to pull up the boot straps and keep going. Some folks won't like you no matter what. Just keep keeping on. The best cure for feeling bad over a job loss is to quickly get another job or stay home and reflect, regroup IF you can afford that. I, unfortunately cannot; as I am the only bread-winner. Lucky me.

[zacarias, ASN, RN]

If she told you that she could make it really hard for you to find another job, I think you need to to take action some how because she is threatening you and causing a hostile work environment to say the least. all4neuro has awesome recommendations but is there are corporate compliance line for that place? I realize that companies want to protect themselves but I don't think her superiors would be too glad to hear what she's doing.

[ToothFairy(5)]

I had one NM that we just could not work together. I knew her before she became our floors manager and we hated each other way back. So when she became the boss I put in my notice. Best move I could have made. ( our kids went to kindergarten together & had issues so we ended up.............yeah long story )

[HeatherGurl84]

I no longer work at the place this happened at but have heard that multiple nurses have left.....seems I am not the only one she drove away

[amoLucia]

I wonder if she was brought in 'to clean house'. It happens.

[all4neuro]

Zacarias ~ I am not sure if you were asking me about Corporate Ethics and Compliance? to clarify, that is who I notified. My manager broke the law, FMLA law. She also passed my personal and medical info. on to another nurse manager. This is unlawful, b/c obviously it is confidential, and it is also unlawful to pass it along. (2 more laws broken)

She passed the info to my new NM, as an attempt to discredit me, it is a form of retaliation. (another law broken)

My new NM knew it was private info. and reported it. She's obviously one of the good NM's. I have only had 2 "bad" ones, most are good.

The corporation and my superiors: unhappy or not, it doesn't matter, federal laws were broken. I was ethically obligated to notify them that another employee was breaking the law. This being so, still most people wouldn't do anything.

I initially was upset b/c she told me I had to change my hours and shift. I was not going to do that! It was a stress enough just dealing with the reason for my FMLA. I googled stuff, and learned a should call an employment attorney. From there, everything else happened in the steps he advised.

If I protested blindly, I probably would've been "let go" at some point.

If my superiors did retaliate, by any means, they would then be breaking the law. Corporate and our unit director were law abiding, and did the right thing.

A corporation does not want managers that put them at risk for a lawsuit. Their corporate attorneys were guiding them. My attorney had worked for corporations in the past and he stated, "they'll be all over this, believe me .... behind closed doors, they will be sweating".

Another thing a learned, most managers are uneducated in employment law. They have HR to guide them on it, but many fail to utilize them until it is to late.

Our unit HR representative did call me. I practiced what I should and shouldn't reveal to them, by my attorney.

Once all was done:

~I was (per my choice) transferred to another unit. I just didn't want to be involved in any uneasiness or an "elephant in the room" type environment, with the assistant NM. She knew some of what happened.

~I could have won a settlement. The law is the law, it was broken a few times. I did not pursue it further. It wasn't about financial gain. I wanted to work my hired shift, and be left alone. Also, it would have drawn out ... and I didn't want to invest more time on it. I have small children, and my hubby, it wasn't worth it to me to be distracted in pursuing a lawsuit. (Maybe for a million?? yeah! LOL)

~I received many apologies ... from my "superiors", HR, and E&C. In person, a few times, they stopped by mynew unit to "check-in" and "are you doing okay".

~The experience empowered me. Not everything I learned was needed during that event but, knowledge is power. I am prepared for future harassment, bullying, and unfair treatment.

~After the NM was fired, some co-workers in general conversation shared how they were mistreated. (unknowing of my grievance)

Why did I start with E&C, first? doing so helped keep the directors, and HR from an attempt at cover up. There are national call lines to notify when a federal law has been broken. But, it all went as it should so I didn't need to do that.

~total cost of attorney $800.00. Which I could've gotten back if I filed a lawsuit.