Mamma's Boys (vent)

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Specializes in Case Management, Acute Care, Missions.

Hey - is anyone else seeing this trend? We have had a run of late 30's males who still live at home with "Mommy" -their words not mine - who dote on them hand and foot and expect us to do the same. We had 2 recently - one of which was sooooooooo non-compliant with his care, refusing to move a muscle that he requested to have a foley placed instead of moving to pee. He has had multiple surgeries to repair a fx mandible that he received in a fight - this one was the last straw and they had to do a bone graft from his hip. He literally wanted me to put the meds in his mouth (both arms worked fine). The docs knew him very well and refused the foley - I and O ok, pt not happy with that - since WHEN does a young guy WANT a catheter.... They said he was a malingerer and will stay forever if allowed, has a hx of being abusive to nurses. Pain was an issue, but WAS well controlled - he has been caught forging several perscriptions. NO one will touch him regarding pain control -our pain specialists washed their hands of him, except his primary care dr - who doesn't understand why everyone else thinks he is drug seeking. On top of this - Mommy calls every couple of hours to see how "baby" is doing - she calls directly to his room and gets everything stirred up again, after we got everything under control. UGH!!!!

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The problem with these guys is they will never change! Their mothers ruined them, and undoubtly they will find some poor, low self esteem woman to take care of them for the rest of their lives! :uhoh21:

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The problem with these guys is they will never change! Their mothers ruined them, and undoubtly they will find some poor, low self esteem woman to take care of them for the rest of their lives! :uhoh21:

I dated one of these; he looked good 'on paper' but was a little insane. He was a pharmacist for a large national chain. . . He was a total momma's boy. Even doing something as mundane as breaking up had to involve his mother. So I escaped without permanent damage or getting married to this weirdo. :chair:

Luckily, my self-esteem was and is intact.

I've seen some of these patients also. It baffles you as how they can respect themselves or look in the mirror. It just makes you want to scream "get out of that bed and DO something for yourself!"

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They do very poorly in jail. Some other inmate winds up "owning them". That is they freely trade sex for protection.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

this thread makes my skin all crawly. men like this and their moms creep me out.

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While I've seen plenty of "mama's boys" I've also seen (and unfortunately dated) my share of "mama's girls"

With them, the story is a bit different. While they may say they HATE their mother, every single thing they do somehow reflects on their mother. My wife had this problem for years. I couldn't even get her to go to college no matter how bad she wanted to because her mom told her she'd never make it. She's been getting better over the last year since she FINALLY stopped talking to her mom altogether. But I've dated several girls in their 20s who lived alone even, but their moms were always at their house or on the phone with them telling them how to live their lives.

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
, refusing to move a muscle that he requested to have a foley placed instead of moving to pee. He has had multiple surgeries to repair a fx mandible that he received in a fight - this one was the last straw and they had to do a bone graft from his hip. He literally wanted me to put the meds in his mouth (both arms worked fine). The docs knew him very well and refused the foley - I and O ok, pt not happy with that - since WHEN does a young guy WANT a catheter.... QUOTE] What? Post-op fx mandible and he can't use a urinal? :rotfl: Maybe he needs some aggressive P.T. And maybe an 8 or 10 French foley (you can find them) Inserted with ONE packet of surgilube only....Yes-Norman Bates and his momma...ewwww.We have a pair in town-the mom is a retired school teacher and she must be 100 now-her son is late middle age.He wears highwater pants up around his waist with red suspenders,a bow tie and a signet ring on his pinky(I just have a problem with man rings-pinky rings particularly skeeve me out) And he dotes on momma-wipes her orifice,too......God forbid I will put a GUN TO MY HEAD BEFORE I ASK MY SON OR MY HUSBAND TO WIPE MY BUTT---AS GOD IS MY WITNESS....Anyway-the have a sick and sad co-depndency that has stunted his emotional growth.......ewwww
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Specializes in Med-Surg.

Mamma's boys really get on my nerves.

But no, I haven't noticed a trend.

If there is a trend of lazy do nothing, do everything for me patients, the females are equal in number, in my opinion. And it's any age. Or maybe female patients treat male nurses differently and enjoy having a male nurse do everything for them. (Maybe they are tired from taking care of their mamma's boys at home. LOL)

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Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.

Tell 'em ALL to GET A friggin' LIFE !!! :rotfl:

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God forbid I will put a GUN TO MY HEAD BEFORE I ASK MY SON OR MY HUSBAND TO WIPE MY BUTT---AS GOD IS MY WITNESS

I will glady wipe my mother's butt in the future rather then putting her in a nursing home. As for my father, I have two brothers that can do that for him. I don't see whats wrong with taking care of your parents. You act as though its a bad thing that some children care for their parents. I'd much rather watch my parents in their old age then put them in a nursing home. Some nursing homes are ok, but most I've seen are not...I'd never want my parents in one ever. As God is my witness I will never put my parents in a nursing home unless its under the most dire circumstances and I have no other choice.

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Specializes in Case Management, Acute Care, Missions.

Wow - guess I hit a nerve! Tweety - you are so right - there are lazy pts from both genders. I just couldn't believe how many "Momma's Boys" we got last week - it was amazing! You would be in doing something with them - then here comes the phone call and the pt - a big, late 30ies, not working at all, living at home answer the phone like at 5y/o "oh, HIIIIII MOMMY!"

The funniest thing about the catheter, was after getting on him all night long to do SOMETHING for himself - he actually had the gall (would say b*lls, but don't think he has any) to ask for a bolus from his PCA before I straight cathed him! I had actually just bolused him for something else and this hit my last nerve - He wouldn't even move his eyes to see the clock - so whether it was professional or not, I basically told him to suck it up and be a man (in a therapeutic way of course - :rolleyes: ) - he could pee - just refused! We are a limited stay unit and the guy has been there over a WEEK! - I for one am praying that he will be HISTORY by the time I return on sunday!

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
I will glady wipe my mother's butt in the future rather then putting her in a nursing home. As for my father, I have two brothers that can do that for him. I don't see whats wrong with taking care of your parents. You act as though its a bad thing that some children care for their parents. I'd much rather watch my parents in their old age then put them in a nursing home. Some nursing homes are ok, but most I've seen are not...I'd never want my parents in one ever. As God is my witness I will never put my parents in a nursing home unless its under the most dire circumstances and I have no other choice.
I don't have a daughter-and I will NOT put that burden on my son and husband...You are young and it is easy to be very adamant and judgemental but until you are IN a particular situation you really don't KNOW what you would do...Only what your inclinations are at this moment....Many nursing homes provide adequate to excellent care.... My own mother died at home on hospice-and my husband and I sold our house and moved in with her.I will freely admit that had she had dementia she WOULD have been placed when it got to the point that she was no longer safe at home...You act like there is shame in THAT=and it is a shame that families face that stigma when they are in an impossible (for them) situation....."Watching" your parents at home in their old age" is not usually the reality...They either remain independent or they need 24/7 care....The phase in which they "just need a little help" is often short.....and their care quicky becomes over-whelming....When you have the demands of your own family and have worked as a nurse and seen what many families experience then you have earned the right to make judgements...I did NOT say that all old farts belong in LTC-only what I would not do....I have advance directives on file at my PCP's office and have spoken at length with my family and I will never place the burden of my care-emotionally,physically or financially on my family or society Ifeel very strongly about this-and it is my right to make that decision for myself...as it will be for your parents...Suppose they want to go to a retirement community? What then?
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