First, let me say that I am not asking for medical advice. I am under the care of my PCP and am paying the big $$ for that. I guess I am just looking for social advice, a shoulder to cry on, words of wisdom, or just to vent.
Over the past year I have been having a problem with blood in the urine when I go to see my doc. He makes it a point to have a ua done every time I go there. Most of the time there is a small amount of blood, not visible, but enough to be a concern. He wants me to go to a urologist to make sure we are not dealing with cancer. The problem is that all the uros in this town use an exclusively female assistive team. The testing for my condition will probably involve a cystocope, something that usually requires assistants.
I have nothing against women, trust me I really don't. I just have this mega problem with modesty. The reason for this is due to a horrifying experience I had when I was a teenager in high school when I was a patient in a hospital. It's a real ugly story. As a result of that experience, I have a very serious primal fear of being in a medical environment and being exposed and touched in any intimate way by females. It's absolutely terrifying and beyond my ability to fully articulate just how bad this is for me.
My doc says he knows how I feel, and that he has had other male patients bring up the problem in the past. He said he has a patient who had decided to just live with a painful condition rather than go through treatment. I guess it would be like a female patient going to her gyno and finding an all male assistive team. Or going to get a mammogram and encountering all male techs. Even without any particlar modesty issues, I think most women would find this uncomfortable at the least, and most likely just plain unacceptable.
My doc is trying to find a urologist in neighboring towns who might have some male assistants working there. I believe he is really trying, but so far no luck. I went to one of the local urology clinic's website and they had a contact email. I loved how they said "your concerns are our concerns." They never responded to my very polite email. :angryfire I am sitting here with a potentially life threatening condition that I can't get treated for and it's really depressing...
When you figure that urologists are the primary provider of reproductive health of men, it just makes sense to have some males working there to assist on those procedures that require them. Granted, they treat women too but the patient load for urologists is about 70% male, based on what I've seen in the waiting rooms.
Please don't think I am anti female because I am not. I just think there are times when men are best treated by other men just to get the comfort level up to a reasonable point where they can accept care.
Advice, opinions, what should I do??? :monkeydance:
Specializes in Day Surgery, Agency, Cath Lab, LTC/Psych.
Good for you! I am so glad you were able to address the whole issue with your urologist. You may find that if you actually have a positive experience getting this scope done that it may ease some of the fear and pain from what happened in the past.
Specializes in ER, Occupational Health, Cardiology.
58Flyer, I am SOOO glad that you got the attention of your doc. I think that, most likely, you both learned something from this. Hopefully, he learned to listen a little more closely, and be more attentive, and hopefully you found what good can come of being more assertive (without being aggressive). I think you have opened the eyes of several people, and hopefully expanded some minds, too. I abhor the fact that you had to experience the trauma that you did. Hopefully the people who have been reading this thread have found that it doesn't really matter what reason it is that you are uncomfortable with a provider. We should always try to be as accomodating as possible, because we have no idea what some other person has experienced in their life, on the way to where they are right now.
BTW, by accomodating, I mean the milk of human kindness-type of accomodation. That does NOT mean that Nurses need to play human doormat for every nut and weirdo that would certainly try to take advantage of us. Believe me-I've met my share of those folks over the years!
58Flyer, I am SOOO glad that you got the attention of your doc. I think that, most likely, you both learned something from this. Hopefully, he learned to listen a little more closely, and be more attentive, and hopefully you found what good can come of being more assertive (without being aggressive). I think you have opened the eyes of several people, and hopefully expanded some minds, too. I abhor the fact that you had to experience the trauma that you did. Hopefully the people who have been reading this thread have found that it doesn't really matter what reason it is that you are uncomfortable with a provider. We should always try to be as accomodating as possible, because we have no idea what some other person has experienced in their life, on the way to where they are right now.
BTW, by accomodating, I mean the milk of human kindness-type of accomodation. That does NOT mean that Nurses need to play human doormat for every nut and weirdo that would certainly try to take advantage of us. Believe me-I've met my share of those folks over the years!
Please continue to keep us updated.
I am definitely in agreement with you. After being on this forum, I certainly have a greater appreciation of nurses. For as long as I live, I will never take nurses for granted. Promise.
Good for you! I am so glad you were able to address the whole issue with your urologist. You may find that if you actually have a positive experience getting this scope done that it may ease some of the fear and pain from what happened in the past.
Thanks, that's a good point. If this thing goes well that should be the case.
58flyer, I'm happy to hear you were able to open up to your PCP and that he actually heard what you were telling him. I'm also glad to hear that he has office staff who are willing to make sure he follows through with you.
A cysto is a pretty brief procedure and requires only a doc, conceivably, after someone prepares the room, gets you on the table, does the paperwork, things like that.
There might not have to be a female present at all. Surely, though, an OR could provide male staff in Cysto, at least for your procedure, if you talk to them. Call a hospital where your doc has privileges and dial the OR, talk with the Nurse Manager there, see what they tell you. Also, yes, take a male pal, right into the OR.
I don't have any advice to offer... I just wanted to offer my support and let you know you have a lot of people thinking of you and your situation. I hope you can get it taken care of and with a positive outcome.
I don't have any advice to offer... I just wanted to offer my support and let you know you have a lot of people thinking of you and your situation. I hope you can get it taken care of and with a positive outcome.
and don't you forget it! *cackling wickedly with 16-g in hand* 
Dolce, RN
861 Posts
Good for you! I am so glad you were able to address the whole issue with your urologist. You may find that if you actually have a positive experience getting this scope done that it may ease some of the fear and pain from what happened in the past.