Male patient refuses Female Nurse

[Pointofcareanalyst]

I have worked in the healthcare field and been a patient way to many times....

At the hospital; I have worked with amazing nurses male and female. And a few not so nice ones (they are rare)

As a tech, I have had patients request/demand a female tech, and I respected it, never once had I been offended of the request. I always thank them for letting our department know of the request, so other techs would know before going to the patient's room. If a female was not available, we would reschedule it when a female tech was available, unless it was life/death situation.

As a patient I have had a bad time with female nurses, rude comments, saying, it is no big deal for them to see me undressed, swearing, etc. (These nurses I did not worked with) I got to the point that I had a family member go with me to any medical appointments... and even then I had a nurse cussing at me , when I politely corrected her... (My big mistake) and she refused to leave the room while the doctor was trying to do an exam. She demanded that it was her "Right" to:madface: be present in the room regardless if she was needed or not. (A male nurse doing this would have been fired and his license revoked) Since then I have refused female healthcare providers completely...

I am a modest patient, (I have had some similar issues that a female patient would only have a female healthcare provider) I had allowed female providers as long as I was covered appropriately... I only go to male doctors because of the modesty issue, and that it is hard for a female doctor to fully treat me with all clothes on at all times... So rather it becoming an issue when a doctor would need me fully undressed, I will only have a male doctor.

I had to go to a specialist that was outside the provider lists, I and my Health Insurance company, (surprisingly they agreed with my request for a male provider since it was a male issue) located a male specialist, the doctor/office agreed to the Male only healthcare, so I go to this doctor numerous times, and had a female nurse while I was covered. Once the specialist couldn't find a cause, he tried to get me to go to his female Physician Assistants, I refused... (The modesty issue, and the fact that the cost to see a Physician Assistant was the same as seeing the specialist)

The office manager (female) screamed at me, how I was "Intimidated" by women:no:, that I wasn't a real man for discriminating competent females... I told her that as long as I was fully covered at all times, it would be fine, (it couldn't happen due to the male issue) the manager said she would not put her female Physician Assistants through it, I asked for the door to be open at all times, she said no again... I asked for a male nurse to be present, which they did have... she said no again, as that male nurse had better things to do.... I asked for the normal procedures for a male doctor female patient, yet they refused to accommodate a male patient in the same manner they accommodated a female patient...

Question is....

If it is no big deal to see it, why is it a big deal NOT to see it? (genitalia)

Is it really offensive for a female nurse to go get a male nurse?

Do they really think that by asking for a male nurse, that it immediately means a male patient is intimidated by females?

Should a female nurse be allowed to stay in the exam room after being told to leave?

Is it her "right" to be in the room when she was not needed?

[SoldierNurse22, BSN, RN]

I'm sorry this has happened to you. If the sexes had been reversed, you'd have a media-worthy story on your hands.

All people--regardless of their sex--deserve to be treated with respect and to be accomodated if at all possible. It sounds like you did the right thing by locating a male specialist that works with a male nurse and got exactly the opposite of what you were looking for.

I work with Soldiers and have had several males tell me that due to the nature of their injuries, they would like to be cared for only by other men. It's a request I always respect. Personally, I see female providers only for my own care and I understand the modesty issue as well as the consequences of life experience on how you regard people--even healthcare providers.

[Glycerine82, LPN]

No, Its YOUR right to dictate who gets to provide your healthcare. The nurse should have stepped out, unless a second person was needed, in which case you would need to be given the opportunity to re-schedule.

I only see female doc's for female reasons, and I can imagine how uncomfortable I would be if I were suddenly switched to a male.

The only problem I see with you requesting male nurses/techs is that can be a difficult request to accommodate.

[Pointofcareanalyst]

Thank you !

[caliotter3]

I've worked in many situations where a female's request was honored without much of a stir. I see absolutely no reason why your wishes have not been accommodated with the same respect.

[Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN]

I'm very sorry that happened to you. I don't get why people would make such a big deal about your request...do they have nothing better to do with their time? No that nurse didn't have the right to be present for YOUR medical exam--you're the pt, what about YOUR rights??, and that office manager didn't have the right to scream at you.

[johndough]

When you are a patient, you dictate the care you want to receive.

If you do not feel comfortable with a specific sex for certain personal care, you can request for one that is appropriate and someone that WILL NOT MAKE YOU FEEL SCARED OR UNCOMFORTABLE.

I've had that experience before, but I was silent about it and felt uncomfortable all the way.

I've had many female patients requesting for females, and I am totally fine with that. I did not take it the wrong way.

I did not go through and say that why are you intimidated by men providing care for you? Or accuse female patients of stereotyping men as perverts trying to see your body.

There's been an increase in male nurses as well as female doctors. People should no longer be silent with their comfort levels. Women had no choice back then and was stuck with male MDs, and men were stuck with female nurses.

[Thimbalina]

Sounds like reverse discrimination. You should have made a formal complaint for so many reasons including the unprofessional language of the nurse. You certainly do have rights. However, I've seen it with women requesting women only so I say this to you as well… it may delay your care as there might not be someone readily available at the moment so you could have to wait a bit until that particular male nurse is available. However, if you tell them upfront before you even arrive at your appointment hopefully they will PLAN on meeting your needs. Sorry for your bad experience but with customer service scores being so high on the list of priorities you should be giving feedback to your doctors' office and/or hospital so that they have an opportunity to see the situation through your eyes. They may not be aware of how strongly you feel about your privacy. If you feel this way I'm sure there are many other men who feel the same way. However there are rules about having witnesses in the room for private exams. It is to protect the physicians from false accusations and not because the nurse wants to see something. Personally, a nurse can position themselves in the room that allows for privacy but use of draping of privacy blanket et… so that even though they are present to witness you not being sexually assaulted by the doctor, they don't have to see anything you don't want them to. There is a ways to be respectfully discreet and fulfill the laws requiring witnesses… and maintain your dignity and privacy.

Why exactly was the nurse swearing? That seems really odd to me….?

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

So you're a male nurse who only wants male healthcare providers? Just seeking clarification....

[Pointofcareanalyst]

This one was awhile ago, I am overweight, and very honest about it. Some meds are given by weight, so I watch my vitals/medical very closely... The nurse had written my weight, about 100 lbs off from actual weight, so I politely corrected her, she came back instantly with, along the lines of "Now you're ******* about me making you seem inshape"

[Pointofcareanalyst]

So you're a male nurse who only wants male healthcare providers? Just seeking clarification....

I was a male lab tech, I only see male heathcare professionals, due to the bs i have been put through. It is better for me to be upfront and say "Males only" before a female nurse (for example) tries to perform a procedure, and I would have to refuse at that time (never turns out good)

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

Gotcha. I was going to ask the question of you what happens when a female patients asks that you not be her nurse because she only wants female providers. But, you're not a nurse. Which confuses me a little as to why you're posting on a forum FOR nurses....

I was a male lab tech, I only see male heathcare professionals, due to the bs i have been put through. It is better for me to be upfront and say "Males only" before a female nurse (for example) tries to perform a procedure, and I would have to refuse at that time (never turns out good)