Male patient refuses Female Nurse

[Pointofcareanalyst]

I have worked in the healthcare field and been a patient way to many times....

At the hospital; I have worked with amazing nurses male and female. And a few not so nice ones (they are rare)

As a tech, I have had patients request/demand a female tech, and I respected it, never once had I been offended of the request. I always thank them for letting our department know of the request, so other techs would know before going to the patient's room. If a female was not available, we would reschedule it when a female tech was available, unless it was life/death situation.

As a patient I have had a bad time with female nurses, rude comments, saying, it is no big deal for them to see me undressed, swearing, etc. (These nurses I did not worked with) I got to the point that I had a family member go with me to any medical appointments... and even then I had a nurse cussing at me , when I politely corrected her... (My big mistake) and she refused to leave the room while the doctor was trying to do an exam. She demanded that it was her "Right" to:madface: be present in the room regardless if she was needed or not. (A male nurse doing this would have been fired and his license revoked) Since then I have refused female healthcare providers completely...

I am a modest patient, (I have had some similar issues that a female patient would only have a female healthcare provider) I had allowed female providers as long as I was covered appropriately... I only go to male doctors because of the modesty issue, and that it is hard for a female doctor to fully treat me with all clothes on at all times... So rather it becoming an issue when a doctor would need me fully undressed, I will only have a male doctor.

I had to go to a specialist that was outside the provider lists, I and my Health Insurance company, (surprisingly they agreed with my request for a male provider since it was a male issue) located a male specialist, the doctor/office agreed to the Male only healthcare, so I go to this doctor numerous times, and had a female nurse while I was covered. Once the specialist couldn't find a cause, he tried to get me to go to his female Physician Assistants, I refused... (The modesty issue, and the fact that the cost to see a Physician Assistant was the same as seeing the specialist)

The office manager (female) screamed at me, how I was "Intimidated" by women:no:, that I wasn't a real man for discriminating competent females... I told her that as long as I was fully covered at all times, it would be fine, (it couldn't happen due to the male issue) the manager said she would not put her female Physician Assistants through it, I asked for the door to be open at all times, she said no again... I asked for a male nurse to be present, which they did have... she said no again, as that male nurse had better things to do.... I asked for the normal procedures for a male doctor female patient, yet they refused to accommodate a male patient in the same manner they accommodated a female patient...

Question is....

If it is no big deal to see it, why is it a big deal NOT to see it? (genitalia)

Is it really offensive for a female nurse to go get a male nurse?

Do they really think that by asking for a male nurse, that it immediately means a male patient is intimidated by females?

Should a female nurse be allowed to stay in the exam room after being told to leave?

Is it her "right" to be in the room when she was not needed?

[wooh, BSN, RN]

Sorry, i understand and agree with the provider and witness being in the room. Why didnt the nurse simply state that it was for legal purposes? Not "I have the right to be in here!" That is obnoxious!!

Obnoxious doesn't equal lawsuit worthy. If it did, I'd be suing half the people that post on allnurses. (And I'm sure some would be suing me.)

[Anoetos, BSN, RN]

I'm not offended, but I think there is a place where things like this come up against necessity and when it comes to saving lives, every one needs to put on their adult trousers and get to work, patient included.

Adult female of Orthodox Jewish faith with trauma comes into the ER; guess what? we aren't waiting for an all female staff to start cutting her clothes off.

I know that's an extreme example, but it points to the reality that this work is, as has been said, about human anatomy, in all its cold and creamy, mottled and inflamed nastiness.

I had an 80 year old obese woman tell me I couldn't give her perineal care because I was a dude. I felt like telling her, 'Good plan, I probably wouldn't be able to control myself..".

[Pointofcareanalyst]

Whoa this blew up big time.

In the case of the Nurse that said it was her right to be in the room. When she was told to leave, she refused and as said she said it was her right. I asked the doctor, if he was over her or not, the doctor seemed to be as shocked as we were.... The nurse was just trying to make herself important, more so after complaining about her language in front of her co-workers (on the way to the exam room)

The facility was a county hospital quick care, so there is no money even if she was liable. I don't get the point of suing for money, it doesn't change what happened, it wouldn't stop it from happening again and I would most likely be laughed out of court. (men have no "right" to be looked at as a victim here, even if the female nurse took pictures [over my dead body] and leaked them to the media etc, the nurse would be looked at as a victim of the "mean monster male patient that hurt her feelings")

As for the medical issues with regards to consent, I am an extreme case, and it has developed more, as more BS is done, by the bad nurses, it is like I cannot trust any female healthcare professional, as way to many end up in a huge over blown drama soap opera type event. And those types of nurses, make the great nurses look bad.

"I think there is a place where things like this come up against necessity and when it comes to saving lives, everyone needs to put on their adult trousers and get to work, patient included." -Anoetos

The way I have set up my medical information, and advance directives (EVERYONE NEEDS TO HAVE ONE) No female healthcare professional shall be in view of me undressed, and "Implied Consent" is revoked the second it happens, which would create medical battery.

And yes the advance directive is with me at all times, dead serious, at all times.

[elkpark]

(men have no "right" to be looked at as a victim here, even if the female nurse took pictures [over my dead body] and leaked them to the media etc, the nurse would be looked at as a victim of the "mean monster male patient that hurt her feelings").

You do realize this particular statement is ridiculous, right???

[wooh, BSN, RN]

I had an 80 year old obese woman tell me I couldn't give her perineal care because I was a dude. I felt like telling her, 'Good plan, I probably wouldn't be able to control myself..".

A billion years ago when I worked at a nursing home as a CNA, I had an awesome DON that happened to be male. We were short one day and he was working the floor with us lowly aides. Went to change and clean up one of my fave little old ladies and she told him, "Now I know you're used to doing this with cows and horses, but you're going to have to be gentle with me!" Off topic, but your comment reminded me of that nice memory. :)

[wooh, BSN, RN]

The way I have set up my medical information, and advance directives (EVERYONE NEEDS TO HAVE ONE) No female healthcare professional shall be in view of me undressed, and “Implied Consent” is revoked the second it happens, which would create medical battery.

And yes the advance directive is with me at all times, dead serious, at all times.

One: You probably need to get that on a medic-alert bracelet. Because in a trauma, even if it's in your pocket, nobody is going to see that until after they've cut your clothes off and are looking at shocking or intubating you.

Two: If you'd prefer death to a woman seeing your nether regions, then it's good you realize you're an "extreme case." But I think you need to consider that because of your feelings and past experience, your perceptions of interactions will also be a bit skewed. It's true for any of us that have raw nerves on a subject. You don't want staff to act crazy about your requests. You need to be the same way. I find when I'm making a bit "out there" request, being apologetic (even if not necessary) helps get the other person on my side. For example, when I make a weird diet request at a restaurant, I say up front, "I know this is weird, I'm sorry to be difficult, but can I get it [enter crazy order that evokes memories of Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally]?" Servers then want to get it right. (The local Chili's even has my usual order memorized and I don't even need to say all the crazy stuff anymore. Which probably means I eat there too much.) I guess this is a long way of saying, get future staff on your side rather than automatically assuming you'll be victimized, and you'll probably have more luck.

[Karou]

Whoa this blew up big time.

In the case of the Nurse that said it was her right to be in the room. When she was told to leave, she refused and as said she said it was her right. I asked the doctor, if he was over her or not, the doctor seemed to be as shocked as we were.... The nurse was just trying to make herself important, more so after complaining about her language in front of her co-workers (on the way to the exam room)

The facility was a county hospital quick care, so there is no money even if she was liable. I don't get the point of suing for money, it doesn't change what happened, it wouldn't stop it from happening again and I would most likely be laughed out of court. (men have no "right" to be looked at as a victim here, even if the female nurse took pictures [over my dead body] and leaked them to the media etc, the nurse would be looked at as a victim of the "mean monster male patient that hurt her feelings")

As for the medical issues with regards to consent, I am an extreme case, and it has developed more, as more BS is done, by the bad nurses, it is like I cannot trust any female healthcare professional, as way to many end up in a huge over blown drama soap opera type event. And those types of nurses, make the great nurses look bad.

"I think there is a place where things like this come up against necessity and when it comes to saving lives, everyone needs to put on their adult trousers and get to work, patient included." -Anoetos

The way I have set up my medical information, and advance directives (EVERYONE NEEDS TO HAVE ONE) No female healthcare professional shall be in view of me undressed, and "Implied Consent" is revoked the second it happens, which would create medical battery.

And yes the advance directive is with me at all times, dead serious, at all times.

Just to clarify...

If you were to need surgery, you would require an all male surgical team? Scrub tech, anesthesia, assistants, pacu nurse, pre op nurse, ect?? Because anyone involved in your surgical care would be seeing you naked.

If you were involved in an MVC and rushed to the nearest ED, you would rather hemorrhage waiting for male staff than allow a female to care for you? What if the trauma surgeon is female? Wooh already pointed out that in a trauma situation where you are circling the drain no one is going to have time to search you for an advance directive specifying the gender of your care providers...

Gender requests should be accommodated when reasonable. I really felt like I understood your OP, but I'm loosing you in your last few replies.

I really think you should consider counseling because you do not seem to be coping with a past grievance involving female care providers. I understand that you feel victimized, and acknowledge that you have stated some valid points, but your reaction seems extreme.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

Just to clarify...

If you were to need surgery, you would require an all male surgical team? Scrub tech, anesthesia, assistants, pacu nurse, pre op nurse, ect?? Because anyone involved in your surgical care would be seeing you naked.

If you were involved in an MVC and rushed to the nearest ED, you would rather hemorrhage waiting for male staff than allow a female to care for you? What if the trauma surgeon is female? Wooh already pointed out that in a trauma situation where you are circling the drain no one is going to have time to search you for an advance directive specifying the gender of your care providers...

Gender requests should be accommodated when reasonable. I really felt like I understood your OP, but I'm loosing you in your last few replies.

I really think you should consider counseling because you do not seem to be coping with a past grievance involving female care providers. I understand that you feel victimized, and acknowledge that you have stated some valid points, but your reaction seems extreme.

This is a good point.

I think if you feel you have been traumatized; perhaps it's time to look up a professional that specializes in trauma and find ways to help you resolve your trauma.

I have endured previous traumas and have experienced the benefits of seeing a professional that specializes in trauma; it has certainly helped in level of comfort and coping in order to move forward the most healthy way possible.

If being in the care of females gives you some form of traumatic apprehension, it's best to see if you can help resolved those issues-purely a suggestion.

Best wishes.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

We wish the OP well but feel (as do other posters) that AN might not be the best venue to help with this problem.

We strongly urge you to consider counseling.

Please take care.