Marriage and Nursing school ?

  1. Hello Everyone!
    This is my first time writting on this site so here it goes. I was just woundering if I was the only guy that had hard times with marriage in nursing school?
    Last edit by whatmaters on Mar 10, '06
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    About whatmaters

    Joined: Mar '06; Posts: 3


  3. by   caroladybelle
    I didn't realize that they held wedding services during classes!!!!!!!

    Seriously, are you talking about getting married during school, getting married to a classmate/MD/intern, seeking to marry a classmate, or having difficulties in a present marriage while go to nursing school? It is not clear from your post.

    It also might help to elaborate on some of the specifics before we can offer assistance/constructive advice.
    Last edit by caroladybelle on Mar 10, '06
  4. by   Tweety
    Nursing school stresses relationships, inclluding the guys. It's a family affair when a member goes to nursing school.

    Care to share a bit more so we can relate?
  5. by   Alexandres
    Well, my wife of 12 years couldn't handle it. So we are currently getting divorced. Had to stop school for a semester because of it, so that added to the bad news as well. It is extremely stressful, especially when you're focused so much on school that you "disconnect" from your family without being aware of it. Good luck.
  6. by   agent
    I got divorced right before starting nursing school.
  7. by   lucky4timesover
    Perhaps I am off base here, but this is how I personally feel about marriage and nursing school. BTW I have been married for seven years, so I have a little experience with it. Your marriage will make it through nursing school if you want it to. Nursing school is a huge, very important part of your life. However, it is NOT the MOST important thing when you have a family. Yes, you are going to be busy. Yes, you will be stressed. However, your family is going through this with you. Everything is not about the student going through the program. I am currently in semester 3/4 so I can relate to the stress too. I think of it this way. I would never ignore my children for 3 years in order to have a degree, no matter what it is. Yes, my education is important but so are my children so I have to make a point to make a huge effort and prioritize. By the same token I would never ignore my husband for 3 years and expect him to just accept the excuse that I am in school. Either you want the marriage to last and you put an effort into it or you don't put an effort into it and wait and see what happens. Not to make light of it, but everyone has something going on in their lives, it is how you choose to handle it that determines the effect it has on the rest of your life. Also, while a spouse isn't a child they still need attention and appreciation too. BTW I am not saying that anyone is ignoring thier spouse, just the way I look at my personal situation. Also, this would not pertain to anyone who is married to someone who just does not want them to go to school or better themselves. That is a whole different subject.
  8. by   Alexandres
    While you make some great points, there are a lot of underlying issues that seem to come up when you decide to take on something like nursing school that may not have surfaced before. For me, I was working full time and going to school full time, so when I was home I needed to study. I did not have that much free time, and sleeping needed to happen at some point.

    I was also looking at the fact that if this wasn't going to work now, graduate school was entirely out of the question. This is a very hard pill to swallow if you start thinking that your spouse does not want you to better yourself or the family, as you stated.

    That said, I would have stopped nursing school sooner if I knew this was going to be what was going to happen to my marriage. Since it's a moot point now, I am going to make the best out of a bad situation and finish school and continue on to my end goals.
  9. by   caroladybelle
    While I know this is a male forum, you will find many women that have marriages/relationships that get rocky or breakup during nursing school.

    There are many issues. Part of it is financial strains (money difficulties being cited in many divorces overall). But a lot of it is emotional issues with time and mental/physical support.

    You have less time with your SO and they feel neglected. You may be spending less time with the children/friends/family and your spouse bears the brunt of the anger or has to make up for that time, when they themselves are receiving less of your TLC.

    And for female students, many have financially/physically supported their spouse in career endeavors, raised the kids and sacrificed to "be there" for the family/spouse. When they go to NS, they expect the same support that they gave previously to others. And often it is not forthcoming. SOs and family can be jealous of "their time" going to nursing school and may sabotage them.

    And male SOs may be worried about their wives meeting MDs and leaving them, and female SOs may be jealous over all the cute young women that their husband is spending so much time with.
  10. by   Alexandres
    Quote from caroladybelle
    And male SOs may be worried about their wives meeting MDs and leaving them, and female SOs may be jealous over all the cute young women that their husband is spending so much time with.
    This definitely was mentioned on more than one occasion, as well as deep sighing during study sessions done over the phone. Very frustrating when not based on reality.
  11. by   sassy7cassy
    My boyfriend very much supports my desire to go through a nursing program, but it'll be rough and I'm not looking forward to it. I'll have already recieved my BA, so for the RN program I'm applying to that knocks a LOT of classes out of the way (it takes it down from about 104 hours to 89 hours) and it's an associates program that takes 7 quarters. That in itself won't weigh on the relationship, but my boyfriend will be pretty deep in med school by then. Both of us being very busy and stressed makes me nervous. I have faith that everything will be ok, but it's still in the back of my head.
  12. by   TheRick
    Quote from whatmaters
    Hello Everyone!
    This is my first time writting on this site so here it goes. I was just woundering if I was the only guy that had hard times with marriage in nursing school?
    Nope, your not the only one.
    It's not easy...I see my wife once a week sometimes twice. She is a full time RN and I'm in pre-nursing studies full time and we juggle two children as well (ok smartie pants--not literaly). I thought I was at my breaking point this semester b/c of not seeing my family all in one place at one time. I didn't think I could stick it out at school, but my wife asked me, "What's the alternative?" She usual, correct. What else would I be doing?
    I hated the carrer I had (selling cars--then motorcycles).
    I watched my woman gut it out twice--pre-med BS then BSN RN. If she can do it twice I can at least do it once. I love my wife dearly...but come on, what dude would willingly wuss out after watching their wife totaly kick butt?
    Realize it is not forever, time really goes fast, and it'll be over before you know it. I can't believe I've been married 10 yrs and have two kids... what the heck....?
  13. by   Jean Alice
    I was only in LPN school, but most of my classmates had marriage issues. There's so much financial and emotional stress during the whole process. If you're new to the healthcare profession, it's a completely different culture. It was hard for me to come home after getting dirty, standing all day, and feeling all of the intense emotions at clinical for the first time, only to have my husband whine about everything. He couldn't understand the intensity of the whole process. To do well, you have to put large part of yourself into nursing school. My husband and I worked it out because we love each other. You will reach compromises and things will be OK. You both have to be willing to communicate and make priorities.
    Good Luck.
  14. by   LBH32C
    Well, and to answer the other question mentioned... has anyone gotten married while IN nursing school? And how difficult was that? Is it better to just wait?