Marriage and Nursing school ?

scrmblr · Apr 3, 2006

I got divorced when I started my pre-rec courses. Best thing I ever did. He did not want me to succeed in school. He would make sure he was NOT home when I needed to get to class etc etc...

I got re- married when I started the LPN program. (started in aug, married in oct) (this was 2plus years after I actually started my pre-rec classes) BEST thing that ever happened to me! My husband is the biggest support I have. He was my support through my LPN program and then through my ASN program.

I don't think nursing school is hard if you are married...I think it totally depends on WHO you are married to.

cincygirlpnp · Apr 4, 2006

I was engaged, though not married during my time through nursing school. I have to say- It is what you make of it. My significant other was in Medical school three hours away, I was taking 17 hours of classes plus working 24+ hours a week for money. We managed. We made time for each other and supported each other. I CONSTANTLY asked myself- "In 10 years, what would I wish I had done?" It helped me prioritize what was important. Nursing school does not fail marriages. There is usually a weakness already there and the added stress of school doesn't help. I would say we had more than most against us while we were in school, and we ended up just fine.

But, we BOTH were committed to us. I can understand that there are some situations where the other person just doesn't understand the stress. We were both going through pretty much the same thing at the same time, and so were able to support each other more easily than some couples. I do know that some of his classmates broke engagements and marriages during med school, but it was their fault. They wouldn't put their partner first- and you have to. It doesn't mean you let school suffer. It does mean that you make time for each other. Even if it isn't as much as you would like.

ChadleyNC · Apr 8, 2006

Im a second semester student partnered to an RN who graduated from the program I am attending about 5 years ago. He works nights, I work days and go to school at night, and have clinicals on weekends. Stress on the relationship? sure there is. But if you want to make it work, you will. Sheduling has ruined many a relationship in its time, but should it ruin yours? there's no reason for it to. all relationships are about compromise whether they are legally stamped or not, and if you love your spouse, then you'll make every effort to make it work and to make the time you have together count. May sound really starry eyed on my part but hey, that's how I see it

Best of luck to you

Chadley

marcrn · Apr 10, 2006

My personal story is that I married a nursing student in '84 .. then married her .. had saw her thru the boards .... got accepted to nuring school myself ... had a set of twins .. entered nursing school .. worked 32 hrs all the while to cover my family with insurance ... my wife worked a Baylor shift the whole time .. I graduated in '89.... Next July my wife & I will celebtarte our 22 aniversary!:balloons:

It wasn't easy but, we worked it out and did what we had to do and did it together :kiss .

We prove is CAN work out!

Marc

fyreflies26 · May 6, 2006

Hey, I just wanted to say that I couldn't agree more with the above posts ! If the commitment is there, it's going to work out, but you have to work at it i'm sure. Although I am new to married life, I i know it takes time and effort, just like school. Anything that gets neglected is going to fall into disrepair. I am in a different situation, as far as support from my husband. He is extremely supportive of me, and to show it, he bought me a very nice stethescope a month before deploying to Iraq. I never asked for it, and he did all the research himself in picking it out (i can't complain with a nice littman now :) )

Anyways, in some ways, it's very convenient that his year long deployment matches up pretty closely to my nursing school, because we both have something to be extremely focused on. On the other hand, what I wouldnt give to have him home during this time, even if meant sometimes there would be stress and bickering.I get so annoyed, when people say that at least I won't have to "worry" about him while I'm in school (aka my schooling won't stress our marriage). But it's all relative. How could my school stress our marriage when his deployment means he's not even here? In essence, the stress of his deployment already trumps the stress nursing school would pose on our marriage, sans military life. It just goes to show you, that you and your SO could always be in a more stressful or time consuming situation, and where there is a will, there's a way.

Communication is verrrrrrrry important I'm learning, whether you're both under the same roof, or one of you is in overseas, if you both want it to work, and are willing to make it work, it will :)

bayside · May 22, 2006

Well, my wife of 12 years couldn't handle it. So we are currently getting divorced. Had to stop school for a semester because of it, so that added to the bad news as well. It is extremely stressful, especially when you're focused so much on school that you "disconnect" from your family without being aware of it. Good luck.

I totally understand. I have only been married for about a year and we also have a 7 month-old daughter. Nursing school has taking all of my available time,(Especially, during the days that I must prepare for clinical (med-surg)).

I almost failed nursing school because of this friction and it almost destroyed my marriage. I find nursing school really rough. I all ready have a B.S. in biology and a year of graduate school and I could have never imagined Nursing school to be so tough. The exams are unlike any that I have ever taken. (Two correct answer, but one is better). What type of BS is that!

I had a professor from hell in my second to last rotation. She was cruel, mean and wrote me up just for breathing. She made me feels so inadequate. Then, we all had to do 19 pages nursing-process records, in which all of the interventions had to be reference. They also had to be described on a pathophysiological rationale. This would take approx. two days to complete. This had to be done every week, as well as other assignments, and not doing them correctly could mean that you failed the course. There was so many ways one, in nursing school, could fail: Fail in clinical; fail in lab, fail in nursing math; fail in lecture; fail in Nursing Process Records; We started with 20 and ended with 15 students.Some sections lost half of the student before the final.

So, I can see how Nursing school could end a marriage. I had no time to for nothing but work and school. This meant ,I had only about one day/ week to give to my wife, child and whatever other obligation. I have one more year and I pray each rotation that I don't make a mistake that could cause me to get written up or sent home. Male nursing students generally aren't favored by professors. They see them either in it for the money or pre-med students, who couldn't get in. I have seen so many student careers ruined by crazy professors or students overworked and tired, so they make stupid mistakes in clinical, which at times causes them to get written up or sent home. Not all nursing schools are as tough as others. I go to a two year state school in Nassau County, New York and it is no joke. I have friends, who are in 4-year nursing school programs (private schools), where the professors treat them with respect and they have less stress. Well, they are paying enough money, they should be treated with respect. So, it all depends, one were you go and the stressors that you have as well as how understanding is one's significant other.

nursstud · Jun 5, 2006

hello everyone,

I'am currently a nursing student and my husband is in the military and goes out to sea however he too has plans to attend nursing school but my question is, do they have a night school for nursing students....not for the clinics but for the nursing cores....thank you:uhoh3:

Roy Fokker, BSN, RN · Jun 6, 2006

While I know this is a male forum, you will find many women that have marriages/relationships that get rocky or breakup during nursing school.

Of all the people who were involved in steady relationships before nursing school started in my class, only about 5-6% made it through with their relationships intact.

Most of them lost it in Junior year. Man, I saw a lot of stressed out people in my class that year.

I made a few attempts - but decided early on that I simply didn't have the time, energy and money to invest in a relationship, work two jobs AND go to school. I also didn't think I was responsible enough. :uhoh3:

Roy Fokker, BSN, RN · Jun 6, 2006

hello everyone,
I'am currently a nursing student and my husband is in the military and goes out to sea however he too has plans to attend nursing school but my question is, do they have a night school for nursing students....not for the clinics but for the nursing cores....thank you:uhoh3:

Not sure at all.

You're probably better off asking the local community college or university :imbar

nursstud · Jun 6, 2006

hello everyone,

I'am currently a nursing student and my husband is in the military and goes out to sea however he too has plans to attend nursing school but my question is, do they have a night school for nursing students....not for the clinics but for the nursing cores.... :uhoh3: Please help if you can.....Thank you

nursstud · Jun 6, 2006

hello everyone,

I'm new to this web and I have found this site to be very helpful however I'am a nursing student attending Olympic College in Poulsbo, Wa. and I'm trying to find out are there any other students that are in O.C. Nursing program, I would love for someone to tell me more about the program, what to expect and what not to expect...the good and the bads....Thx

nursstud · Jun 6, 2006

Not sure at all.
You're probably better off asking the local community college or university :imbar

Thank you..