Male Nurse and Sexual Comments

Nurses General Nursing

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I have a nurse coworker, who is male, that enjoys making sexual comments about the female nurses. I have told him multiple times that his comments are inappropriate. My best friend at work, a female, seems to be the focus of all his sexual energies. He constantly makes comments like "When I'm around her all I can think about is how much I want to **** her!", and other similar comments.

I'm not an old fuddy-duddy, but these types of comments are out of place at work. I don't want to tell the nurse manager about it, mainly because he is a warm body, and we've had trouble keeping nurses (prison work). She is unlikely to do anything about it, and, if she did, it would be because her hand is being forced.

Any ideas on how to solve this?

This guy is really dumb. Everybody should know better than to talk like that. As far as being afraid of the guy, the posters are a little nutty themselves. Quotes like that are very common in softball dugouts, baseball games, and poker nights. They just need to stay there.

The guy should lose his job, but is likely harmless.

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This guy is really dumb. Everybody should know better than to talk like that. As far as being afraid of the guy, the posters are a little nutty themselves. Quotes like that are very common in softball dugouts, baseball games, and poker nights. They just need to stay there.

The guy should lose his job, but is likely harmless.

I take offense to you referring to previous posters (myself included) as a little nutty, we each shared some personal experiences/opinions and feel this "harmless" situation may get out of control and become scary. I hope you, or anyone you love never have to face a situation like this... And just because guys routinely make inappropriate comments, does NOT make it ok and does NOT excuse this dirt bag's behavior...

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Specializes in ER, L&D, RR, Rural nursing.

Not appropriate, unprofessional to say the least. Ask him to stop, talk to your friend and help her see the inappropriateness of his statements report if needed. Verbally to your supervisor followed up with a written report for other incidents as they occur but in your written report always cite your discussion, date and outcomes cc to your supervisor and her superiors going up the chain as needed. Good Luck

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Specializes in Day Surgery, Agency, Cath Lab, LTC/Psych.
This guy is really dumb. Everybody should know better than to talk like that. As far as being afraid of the guy, the posters are a little nutty themselves. Quotes like that are very common in softball dugouts, baseball games, and poker nights. They just need to stay there.

The guy should lose his job, but is likely harmless.

Well, unless you have been on the receiving end of a stalker you don't know how scary it is.

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.
As far as being afraid of the guy, the posters are a little nutty themselves.

Excuse me? As the survivor of a violent attack, I find this statement incredibly offensive.

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Specializes in CDI Supervisor; Formerly NICU.
I have a nurse coworker, who is male, that enjoys making sexual comments about the female nurses. I have told him multiple times that his comments are inappropriate. My best friend at work, a female, seems to be the focus of all his sexual energies. He constantly makes comments like "When I'm around her all I can think about is how much I want to **** her!", and other similar comments.

I'm not an old fuddy-duddy, but these types of comments are out of place at work. I don't want to tell the nurse manager about it, mainly because he is a warm body, and we've had trouble keeping nurses (prison work). She is unlikely to do anything about it, and, if she did, it would be because her hand is being forced.

Any ideas on how to solve this?

The first thing I'd do is try to make certain that your friend doesn't welcome these advances. If she likes the dude, she won't appreciate you getting onto him.

I'm certainly not approving of this fellow's actions, but from my (15 years) experience in prisons, that type of language is a large part of the every day vernacular from both inmates and employees. He might be trying to "fit in" into the environment, and not even realize he's violating your rights. Of course, he could just be an idiot, too.

Tell him to shut up, and if he doesn't, go to the proper authority figure in your chain of command.

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Specializes in CDI Supervisor; Formerly NICU.
And just because guys routinely make inappropriate comments, does NOT make it ok and does NOT excuse this dirt bag's behavior...

It ain't just guys that are making these types of comments, I assure you. Ever worked in a prison?

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It ain't just guys that are making these types of comments, I assure you. Ever worked in a prison?

I was mainly addressing the fact that in this situation it is a guy... Please forgive my stereotyping! ;)

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Specializes in CDI Supervisor; Formerly NICU.

It's alright, everyone does it. ;)

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Specializes in OB.

You really don't have to wait for your coworker/friend to address this. If you have told the individual that you don't want to hear these kind of comments and he continues to make them in your presence then that is harassment (of you). You may want to pull out the employee handbook and look at that section (and hostile work environment) and leave it for him with that marked.

If that has no effect, then you may really need to involve management to keep this from escalating as others have said.

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Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.

Yup, just what bagladyrn said -- this is third-party sexual harrassment, or creation of a hostile work environment. You can file a complaint yourself with HR, if you are so inclined.

This situation sounds like a powderkeg just beggin' for a lit match ... yikes. Good luck!

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I would just like to say something that I haven't seen yet.....social norms are being violated.......

It is one thing for someone (male or female) to say "oh he/she is hot is he/she single" and then ask the person out and then let it go if the person isn't interested. That is normal male/female behavior.

My problem with this situation is that I feel this individual's behavior violates social norms and that sends up a red flag to me. To say things like I wanna *bleep* her is extremely inappropriate and a level headed person would not say that about a co-worker, esp while at work! I think that because this individual is blatenly violating social norms it is causing the "creep" vibe to be transmitted. Normal, sane people understand and usually adhere to the social norms of the culture (even sub cultures e.g. prison nursing). People who have a difficult time understanding/following social norms usually have something wrong with them. :twocents:

So....because this individual is violating not only the rules of the institution but also the social norms of the society that freaks me out. Weirdos are everywhere and they are called weirdos because they do/say weird stuff. Based on the info provided this guy fits my perameters for a creep. Go with your gut on this one. People give off a creepy vibe for a reason.

Take him seriously, tell the target of his "affection" to be cautious, and start letting people know what is going on. This is not something to keep to yourself. GL :redpinkhe

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