I Have to get this off my chest before i explode. is it just me or do female nurses treat you the same way they would treat a girlfriend? ... k that came out wrong! my dilemma is do female workers in your place of employment tell you about the awful hairdresser and the sloppy husband and the tuna casserole that went bad and the guy in room 303 that is checking her butt out and the diet they are on.... or is it just me. i dont mean to be rude or anything but for the love of god and all that is holy there are days when ive had 70 bajillion code browns and i dont want to hear this on the 15 min break i get. sometimes i feel like taping their mouth shut with that flimsy tape they call tape. and another thing do you guys get the 1 nurse telling u that nurse whatever is a ***** and then nurse whatever telling you that nurse 2 is a ***** and nurse 2 telling you that nurse 1 is a *****... and you dont want to hurt anyones feelings so you just nod in agreement... cause to be honest im sick of playing this game, there are days where i would rather eat my lunch in the john than listen to another word of this dribble
Dude, just do what their husbands/boyfriends do... let it go in one ear and out the other. They probably won't notice...
Sigh. I wish I worked on a predominantly male unit... and I'm not a male nurse. I came to nursing as a second career after working in nearly all-male environments (IT) for over 12 years. It was a huge culture shock for me... not an enjoyable one.
Believe it or not, some of us women nurses can't stand other women nurses. And I don't mean that in a catty way, I mean that in a "why on earth do they say/do the things they do??" kind of way. I was so miserable my first year out of nursing school, largely because of the cliquish, catty, gossipy, mean behavior of other female nurses. But god forbid I try to bring up an article I recently read in a nursing journal; that turned into me being a "know-it-all".
When we hired more male nurses I was SO GLAD. Somewhere (maybe allnurses?) I read that male nurses are like the graphite rods in nuclear reactors: they prevent a total meltdown. I never let them know they got to me (the catty beyatchy nurses) but I was SO RELIEVED when they hired a bunch of men. I remember one shift that was terribly hectic (hot summer night, inner city ER, lots of ETOH/ODs/shooting/stabbing/battery) but went so smoothly... at the end of it, I was so relaxed compared to my usual shifts, in a good mood, joking around and friendly even though I was dog-tired, and I was wondering, what was so different about this shift? Then I realized while I was driving home... oh, yeah -- 6 nurses on shift (not counting Triage), but only one female: me.
And for what it's worth, I have several male friends who tell me I'm totally different from other women -- in a good way, they say. My bf says the same thing. Whatever it is, I am not cut from that same cloth. The whole hair/bf/gossip thing is not me; I can't relate to it at all.
Wow...I could replace some of the women in my unit for you if given the chance.
If you're an approachable, communicative person then they're going to talk go you. What's the big deal? I used to supervise several women from barely out of high school on up to my mother's age. I heard it all and at times had to counsel them. No biggie.
You could always become the creepy guy that women avoid. You won't have time to worry about it then.
The culture of a unit is dependent on many things. It sounds like you're not a good fit for the culture there. Try your best to just do your job, keep your head down, and get the experience you need to move on. I'm sure this adds tremendously to stress you have about being new. Try to decompress outside of work and just focus on giving your patients good care. If the sharing gets too much, just say "I'm sorry I need to focus on my work right now". Good luck!
As the only male nurse on the night shift on my unit, I want the females to treat me as a peer and not an outsider. Luckily I guess the ladies I work with are all very cool. I found it funny that after a couple of years working with them They really relaxed. There are sometimes TMI moments related to body parts, cycles and stuff but hey if it was 1 female and a bunch of guys it would be the other way around
Dude, the ancient male secret antidote to estrogen poisoning is...
liberal consumption of pickled eggs, green bean casseroles, smoked fish and oysters, stuffed cabbage and curries of any type.
This may not be entirely effective as there are strains of super-estrogen or nursestrogens that have developed some immunity to the product of the antidote.
Or, you can simply state you do not wish to engage in talking about other people.
I have always said I dont like working with other women, I cant stand female nurses. I feel more comfortable nursing and working with men. Give me an ideal job where I am the only female working with men. I love it.
"Betty is such a lazy piece of crap (blah blah blah)"
"Oh really? Every time I've had any interactions with her it's always been amicable. Actually she's helped me out quite a bit."
"Ashley is such a backstabbing *****"
"I've not heard any gossip coming from her so I wouldn't know."
Honestly, though, a lot of gossiping sometimes happens ... nature of the beast. Guys do it too, as someone else mentioned.
I do think, however, that if women and men handled things in the same way things would be so much easier. "Dude you left me a f*cking mess" ... "Did I? I apologize"
And I do have to say that I miss being inappropriate at work from time to time - worked as a server/bartender and the sexual banter/"locker room talk" was constant and freaking awesome (but all in good fun). I miss it a ton.
I just started in an ICU and there's a ton more guys than there were on my former floor. I'm really looking forward to getting in the mix. From what I've seen the unit as a whole gets along so much better and are a little more *ahem* free with the language / topics of speech
The thing I can't stand is how two faced women get around *that* time. I mean I go through days of not being in the best mood, but I at least attempt to be as quiet as I can and get through the day. I don't throw temper tantrums, storm all over the unit, throw stuff, sigh heavily when there's a whole ONE person in line, etc.
Those are the main problems I have. I did have a core number of nurses in my unit that I loved hanging out with, but I made that move to ICU. It's good because I love my new unit, but I hate being that new person everybody's trying to feel out. It'll work out in the end -- I'll make it, but my core group of people that I *could* talk guy talk with aren't there, and I miss that.
Specializes in OR, OB, EM, Flight, ICU, PACU.......
Dude, the ancient male secret antidote to estrogen poisoning is...
FOOTBALL!!!!!! Football, football and more football! Stats, Plays, Players and stats! Before long , they wouldn't pi*s on you if you were in the middle of the hallway on fire!
"Did you see the Broncos' game sunday? They couldn't even get six from the Red zone in 4! Peyton totally ruled their a**es!"
Just use lines like that, and in no time you'll wonder if your deodorant is really working as no one will be talking to you, ever!
I like both the male and female nurses I work with, but I have been stuck in the middle of gossipy conversations started by both sexes. I don't like to gossip; it always comes back. Here is how I handle it.
Coworker: I hate following "Jane", she is so lazy."
JustinTRN
46 Posts
Wow...I could replace some of the women in my unit for you if given the chance.