Made a huge error today...

[LovingLearning]

I am not going to go into details...but I made a major, stupid error today. A med error for which there is no excuse. No excuse at all. I **know** better, and I have done better. No one died, though, thank God...and wasn't even injured. But it was a med error...and that can kill people.

After making the error in front of my clinical instructor, I was not only horrified but scared to finish administering the meds. My clinical instructor would not let me get away with that...she made me do the injection (which worked out well...).

My instructor told me in no uncertain terms that the very least I could expect was a written warning. I told her that was utterly justifiable. She then told me that we would meet tomorrow morning before clinicals to 'discuss' things.

I left the floor at the end of rotation and was in tears going to my car. I went to the administration building, to talk to one of the administrators about what happened; while there, I saw our class coordinator, and asked if I could talk to her. We sat down, and as I fought back tears, I told her what happened and how it happened...accepted all blame and all consequences. She made mention that in her med clinicals, if I had done that, it was instant failure...but I wasn't in her group.

Of course I left thinking I was out of the program. I came home, talked it over with the cat, and wrote an email to my clinical instructor. I offered a remediation plan, and offered my apologies and explanation of why what happened actually happened.

And then had a good, long cry.

I checked my email a bit ago, and she wrote back. I am on meds in the morning, even though I asked to be removed from med admin. I will recieve a written warning (utterly justified), and I will write a paper about the 5 rights. I have to say, her remediation plan was far less severe than I wrote up...and much more mild than what I would've put me through.

I am still in the program. By taking the initiative and offering a remediation plan to her before she talked to me, I was able to demonstrate how badly I felt, and how I have learned from this. I told her that even though I had explanations, there was no excuse for what happened...no excuse whatsoever.

I am not exactly why I'm sharing this with you...but I want my experience to do two things for you: when you make an error, no matter how big or small, be responsible for it. And be proactive in accepting that responsibility, because I think that me talking to the class coordinator and the administrator, I was able to show how devastated I was, and how seriously I took this error...which also let my clinical instructor know that I was horrified and ashamed and looking to remediate even before I submitted my plan to her via email.

Sorry if this is disjointed...I am exhausted right now, and emotionally spent. I was pretty sure I'd lost my seat...and to find out otherwise...well, you guys know.

Best-

Lovin' Learning

[goodstudentnowRN]

I am very happy that your clinical instructor acts like a human being and was being very understanding. Give God thanks for that. Some clinical instructors would kick you out of the program with or without an apology. I am really surprised that the instructor assign you to give meds the following day. At least you owned up to your mistake and presented a plan to do better. I know someone who got kicked out because a stupid nurse told lies on her and now the nurse is being dismissed. I think that nurse should have lost her license too. I just hate it when they blame students for their stupidity.

[rn/writer, RN]

I'm guessing your CI assigned you to med administration again to help you get right back on the horse that threw you. The longer you have to worry about doing meds again, the worse it will be. Seems like the CI is giving you the opportunity to show her what you're made of.

You did well to take a proactive approach and to own your error without making excuses.

You are fortunate to have a CI that is a reasonable person.

I wish you the best as you finish your program.

[Jolie, BSN]

Thank you for taking the time to post about your experience, your acknowledgment of your error, your refusal to blame anyone else, your efforts to complete your duties for the day, your communication with your program instructor and coordinator, your improvement plan and the outcome of your experience.

This shows incredible maturity and professionalism, and is the reason that you are still in your program, BTW.

During my final "leadership" rotation, I came inches away from committing a huge med error. I did "one final check", because something didn't seem right and caught my error. I immediately asked my preceptor to look after my patients because I needed to report to my instructor. I was sure I was a goner. She reassured me that my "final check" and the little voice in my head (or angel on my shoulder) were signs that I was developing critical thinking skills and "thinking like a nurse." I was told to get back to the floor and take my patients back because she had no concern that I would ever commit a similar error.

That is one of the few clinical moments I can vividly recall almost 25 years later, because of the way my instructor handled the situation. She was convince I had learned my lesson. I also learned a lot about managing people from her. She was a gem.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

I'm so glad you got to keep your position, Loving.

[LovingLearning]

I am very happy that your clinical instructor acts like a human being and was being very understanding. Give God thanks for that. Some clinical instructors would kick you out of the program with or without an apology. I am really surprised that the instructor assign you to give meds the following day. At least you owned up to your mistake and presented a plan to do better. I know someone who got kicked out because a stupid nurse told lies on her and now the nurse is being dismissed. I think that nurse should have lost her license too. I just hate it when they blame students for their stupidity.

I have said my prayers, both before and after. God knows...

And yes, she's actually been human about this. She and I don't actually care for each other - she's as much as told me so - and she's been very hard to deal with this semester. I venture to say she'd say the same thing about me, however...but in this instance, I did what I could think of to handle it in an adult manner, accept the responsibility due me, and do it without whining or excuses. I wanted to justify and excuse, but when one steps back and looks at it, there's absolutely NO justification nor excuse for what happened. I don't know if she was expecting that...but wherever it came from, an extra paper and returning to meds and a warning is nothing compared to what I was expecting.

rn/writer said:

I'm guessing your CI assigned you to med administration again to help you get right back on the horse that threw you. The longer you have to worry about doing meds again, the worse it will be. Seems like the CI is giving you the opportunity to show her what you're made of.

You did well to take a proactive approach and to own your error without making excuses.

You are fortunate to have a CI that is a reasonable person.

I wish you the best as you finish your program.

Thank you. I also think she's putting me on meds for that exact reason. I am scared, but I can suck it up and move on, you know? The CI is providing me an opportunity to show what I'm made of...and I hope I can prove her right. In her return email, she said that she was putting me on meds tomorrow because she knows I know the protocol and have performed it flawlessly in the past, and she fully expects me to do that tomorrow.

I will finish the program; many people don't get a second chance. I have, and it will not be squandered if I can help it.

Best-

Lovin' Learning

[LovingLearning]

Jolie said:

Thank you for taking the time to post about your experience, your acknowledgment of your error, your refusal to blame anyone else, your efforts to complete your duties for the day, your communication with your program instructor and coordinator, your improvement plan and the outcome of your experience.

This shows incredible maturity and professionalism, and is the reason that you are still in your program, BTW.

I think you're right...and I am enormously thankful for not being kicked out of the program. I think she was rather surprised, judging from the tone of her email response, that I had sent her one, and I know that my coordinator (someone who I have not asked to speak with all semester...) made time for me even though she was in the middle of another huge project.

And thank you for posting your experience, too. It helps, you know? It does help.

Suesquatch said:

I'm so glad you got to keep your position, Loving.

All I can say is I'm so grateful to only have a warning...I honestly expected far, far worse.

But I have to admit, I'm scared about meds today. I'll get through it...but I'm scared.

Best-

Lovin' Learning

[krazykev]

I am very happy that your instructor behaved like a human and treated you as one too.

[MrsBradyMom]

Being scared about your med pass can be a good thing. It keeps you on your toes. I guarantee you will never make another med error

I just wanted to say that what you did was awesome. How you handled the situation & your CI had loads of integrity, maturity, & accountability. I bet you are going to make a wonderful nurse!

[Natingale, EdD, RN]

I have nothing to add other than I am very proud of you!

You made a mistake, took full responsibility, and picked yourself up.

Youre setting a good example for other students.

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

I would even add 5 more rights that we learned in my school ..Couldnt hurt, but I dont want to get you into anymore trouble.

[LovingLearning]

Thanks, everyone.

It was really hard today. I got there, got patient hand off, took vitals, sat with my instructor for a bit while she explained the warning, signed the warning, and then got to work with my patient. He was the one I made the error on yesterday; he knew what happened (my instructor was visibly furious with me yesterday in front of him), and was sad that I had gotten a warning/write-up. So today, he was doing everything he could to be helpful. Just a good guy, you know? Told my instructor I was the best sn he'd had (and he's been there for three months...).

Then came med pass. I was terrified. I was, literally, shaking. I managed to get through the first part, taking all the time I needed to make absolutely, utterly sure everything was exactly correct...she was watching me like a hawk, and it stressed me even further. However, it was appropriate. Then I went into my patient's room; as I walked in with the med cup, he sat up (still hard for him), and just was a dear. I got through the rest of the med pass, and then had to document. And nearly blew a perfect performance...but I caught it, and there was no issue.

Then I had to listen to my instructor read me the riot act...standing at the nurses station. Fine, I can take it...I caused this, this is part of it...I can deal with it.

And then my patient wheeled himself up; he was out of his room on his own steam for the first time in months!!! PT had gotten him into his wheelchair, and he was tooling around our floor just as excited as a three year old at Christmas. He wheeled himself to our instructor, and told her he wanted to go outside, into the day. We bundled him up in blankets, and I took him down and out into the patio.

I felt so much better just sitting there with him as he got back into the sun...just so happy for him and so grateful I had gotten through the morning...and relieved that it turned out all right in the end.

I made the mistake, I remediated today. I took my lumps, and I am moving on. I will not ever repeat that mistake, I know this...and now I know my instructor knows it.

Phew. I think I can breathe now. Thanks for the support, you guys. I wasn't sure if I should post it or not...I am glad you're not all thinking I'm going to be a rotten nurse.

Best-

Lovin' Learning

[jschut, BSN, RN]

{{{HUGS}}}

Glad you are doing ok.

Julie