LPN really screamed at patient.

Shed13911 · Dec 30, 2003

It doesn't seem like all of the information has been provided. I can not imagine any Mother missing her own child's memorial. There had to be a reason she would not have spoken up! Maybe she felt like she had missed too much work already and was concerned about her job. I know no employer would have allowed her to miss that memorial had they known about it, even on short notice!!

LauraF, RN, ASN, CNA, LPN, RN · Dec 30, 2003

Ok, I may get yelled at over this. Mind you I just finished my transition class from LPN to RN program. But, let me start by saying, I would have not been there had it be me. My children are the most important thing in the world. Any they could have fired me if they felt the need, but my children are always first! I could not imagine not being there to pay my last respects and saying goodbye to my baby( no matter how old they are, they are always your baby). With that being said, it is wrong for a licensed professional to yell at a patient. No matter how big of a pain they are being. There have been two nurses fired at the facility I work, for raising their voices to residents. She may need to considering taking a leave for a short while, if she has short term disability it is something to consider. Just my opinion. I do feel for the woman though. Losing a child has got to be the worst thing in the world.

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Dec 30, 2003

Right or wrong, if I had been in that poor LPN's shoes, I probably would have yelled too! Under the circumstances, I do NOT feel she should be reported. She has enough, and most likely much too much on her mind to deal with without adding to her stress. I'm sure she probably feels regretful about working instead of being at her child's memorial service. Maybe the reason she complied with administration was due to her culture too. If it is, then I understand, but it must have been horrible for her. She definitely has my sympathy, a few very needed(((((((((HUGS))))))))), a:kiss, and my sincere condolences. Nuff said!

Fran:nurse:

Tweety, BSN, RN · Dec 30, 2003

It seems strange that she worked on the day of her memorial service. If your manager is the good manager you say she/he is, then probably she/he didn't understand. Perhaps even this nurse needing the money so desparately decided to work knowing if she took off she may loose the hours. Who knows, we can't judge why she choose to work. Yes, she choose to work, no one held a gun to her head and ordered to work.

Compassion and understanding for what this nurse is going through is not what your post is about in my opinion. I think you are showing compassion and concern.

We as professionals need to separate the two, her grief and her actions. If she is decompensating and yelling at residents, that is wrong, she needs help, and management needs to be notified. Granted this patient deserved it.

It's probably going to be an isolated incident, and the resident accepted the apology. But who is to say later he/she isn't going to make a big stink about it later and they interview everyone who worked at that time?

I have to disagree with Frances and some of the others. You said it yourself, your responsibility is to the patients. You can have sympathy, compassion and caring, but also must detach from emotion and think as a professional, as cold-hearted as that might be.

:chair:

Tweety, BSN, RN · Dec 31, 2003

Another thought. Our facility has a program where we can donate our vacation time to another person. Is there anyway you and your coworkers could do that for her so she can have a little more time?

The fact that she was working on the day of her child's memorial service is a sign in and of itself that something "ain't right" with this woman. I really feel bad for her.

mattsmom81 · Dec 31, 2003

Grief, shock, overwhelming emotions. Losing a child...who knows what this poor woman is going through emotionally? Perhaps she was too numb to make waves and ask for the time off she needs. How sad your manager was not aware and supportive.

Hope this woman gets appropriate counseling and the support she needs to work through this. I cannot imagine the grief and pain she must be in...losing a child in this way.

I agree with Gwenith ...sounds like she needs her coworkers to also be friends now. Personally I would write off a few moods...and gently suggest counseling. If the blowups and problems persist you may need to involve your manager but I would put that off for awhile unless you're certain she will be helpful.

I've been in similar situations and one wants to be caring but at the same time we DO have a duty to our patients IF the problem does not appear to be correcting itself...

Does your facility have an employee assistance program? A fund for emergency $$ that might be sewnt her way? Donated sick PTO time? (we are allowed to do this for coworkers)

Good luck and thanks for caring about her. There but for the Grace of God...

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Dec 31, 2003

I know you're correct in what you say Tweety. I get emotional, because my oldest daughter was abducted and taken out on the west coast when she was only six. I lived on the east coast. And I know from first hand experience what that LPN must be feeling.

I would not wish that experience on anyone. It was only through a lot of prayer and support from many friends that got her back home to me eleven months later in a disconnected emotional state. It took me several years before I got her back to normal. But she is now a happily married mom of soon to be two girls, and is finishing up her PHD.

Fran:nurse:

ktwlpn, LPN · Dec 31, 2003

Originally posted by mattsmom81
Grief, shock, overwhelming emotions. Losing a child...who knows what this poor woman is going through emotionally? Perhaps she was too numb to make waves and ask for the time off she needs. How sad your manager was not aware and supportive.

I agree with Gwenith ...sounds like she needs her coworkers to also be friends now. Personally I would write off a few moods...and gently suggest counseling. If the blowups and problems persist you may need to involve your manager but I would put that off for awhile unless you're certain she will be helpful.

`It does sound like she needs the support of her co-workers now but I am betting she will get precious little of that...This "LPN" . I hate that-why not say "A co-worker of mine?" I can see that this poster and probably the facility likes to keep groups of people apart by labeling them...not bring them together.......I have a co-worker who lost 2 sons together in a car accident..I have a co-worker whose grandbaby was born anacephalic...I have friends at work---housekeepers and maintenance men...all co-workers...People that I like an admire for the good work they do....no matter what their title...."the LPN" "The aide"...can't you just say-"a friend at work?"(sorry if I am reading into this post-but other threads I have read lead me to believe that I am spot on)

LisaRN2B · Dec 31, 2003

Originally posted by Frances LeMay
I know you're correct in what you say Tweety. I get emotional, because my oldest daughter was abducted and taken out on the west coast when she was only six. I lived on the east coast. And I know from first hand experience what that LPN must be feeling.

I would not wish that experience on anyone. It was only through a lot of prayer and support from many friends that got her back home to me eleven months later in a disconnected emotional state. It took me several years before I got her back to normal. But she is now a happily married mom of soon to be two girls, and is finishing up her PHD.

Fran:nurse:

(((((Fran))))) Dear Lord, that is a nightmare I can thankfully only imagine. I am glad to hear she is doing very well now. God Bless you all.

I think it is a horrid situation that the LPN worked during her sons memorial service. I, too, can understand what her mindset might have been to make her scream at the patient. It is inhumane treatment to not allow a person time to grieve their loss, and IMO, especially the loss of a child, no matter how old they are. I liked Tweety's suggestion as well...this lady needs time to mourn, period.

Were I the OP I would not drag management into it at this point, but offer the support that she suggested she would like to offer this bereaved lady.

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Dec 31, 2003

Amen, Lisa

Fran

oramar · Dec 31, 2003

Lot of good ideas here, even the negative post have some interesting points to make.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Dec 31, 2003

Originally posted by Frances LeMay
I know you're correct in what you say Tweety. I get emotional, because my oldest daughter was abducted and taken out on the west coast when she was only six. I lived on the east coast. And I know from first hand experience what that LPN must be feeling.

I would not wish that experience on anyone. It was only through a lot of prayer and support from many friends that got her back home to me eleven months later in a disconnected emotional state. It took me several years before I got her back to normal. But she is now a happily married mom of soon to be two girls, and is finishing up her PHD.

Fran:nurse:

Fran that is awful. I can't even imagine how awful. It helps you to think with your heart and not you head. Which may or may not be appropriate all the time. :kiss