Loco-Parentis

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Curious what you think of this scenario.

Boarding - two 16yr old girls going to Paris in a party via train with 18 boys. Usual result is 16 disappointed boys, and two distraught girls.

Girl A is going out with Boy A who is celebrating his 18th. Girl B is best friend of Girl A, and this will be her first trip away.

My role - nurse, but also parent in 'loco-parentis'

I know students very well. I know the hurt that often happens on trip. I know parents usually have no idea what goes on during such trips. These trips happen every year, and I'm left to pick up the pieces, whether it be intoxicated/drugged kid in ICU, head injury, or some other nasty surprise.

I call parents of girl A to make sure they are aware daughter is with 18 boys. Rationale, I'm a parent and I know my father would never have let my sister go on such a trip. Also figuring out my role as i'm considered a nurse and a parent.

What do I do, - I call father of girl A who gets angry, tells me off, says he trusts his daughter. Due to the angry reaction, I don't call the parents of Girl B

Result - girl B and girl A are in my office on monday morning, trying to figure out if girl B has been raped.

Boyfriend of girl A had a best friend who booked a room in hotel forhimself as well as girl B, and girl B felt she had to share a room/bed with him because she had left the booking up to the boys, and along with alcohol, eventually consented, but now not so sure.

It's not always easy figuring out what the best thing too do.

It seems a big part of the problem is absent parents.

Yes, I should have been more clear, but I'm simply sharing some of the more challenging situations I've been in.

Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.

I'm probably adding more fuel to your fire by commenting on this ridiculous scenario. Yes, rich and entitled teens are probably horribly difficult to deal with. None of my patients are teens at all, much less ones that spend $5000 for a table and run up $30000 bar tabs. But regardless, if you weren't even on this non school related trip, how did any responsibility for what happens good or bad fall on you?

More disturbing, why do you seem to have an obsession with the sex life of teens? Every thread I've seen with your involvement focuses on pot, Media and the sexual habits of younger people. Your apparent obsession also takes the unfortunate turn of insulting American nursing and culture at some point, every time.

Specializes in critical care.
Curious what you think of this scenario.

Boarding - two 16yr old girls going to Paris in a party via train with 18 boys. Usual result is 16 disappointed boys, and two distraught girls.

Girl A is going out with Boy A who is celebrating his 18th. Girl B is best friend of Girl A, and this will be her first trip away.

My role - nurse, but also parent in 'loco-parentis'

I know students very well. I know the hurt that often happens on trip. I know parents usually have no idea what goes on during such trips. These trips happen every year, and I'm left to pick up the pieces, whether it be intoxicated/drugged kid in ICU, head injury, or some other nasty surprise.

I call parents of girl A to make sure they are aware daughter is with 18 boys. Rationale, I'm a parent and I know my father would never have let my sister go on such a trip. Also figuring out my role as i'm considered a nurse and a parent.

What do I do, - I call father of girl A who gets angry, tells me off, says he trusts his daughter. Due to the angry reaction, I don't call the parents of Girl B

Result - girl B and girl A are in my office on monday morning, trying to figure out if girl B has been raped.

Boyfriend of girl A had a best friend who booked a room in hotel forhimself as well as girl B, and girl B felt she had to share a room/bed with him because she had left the booking up to the boys, and along with alcohol, eventually consented, but now not so sure.

It's not always easy figuring out what the best thing too do.

I am not sure how you are drawing a line between parental notification and possible rape.

Did I do wrong in phoning the parents of Girl A even though I meant well? I brought in my values, the way my parents would behave. In this situation I'm a nurse and a parent to the students, which makes it more complicated.

Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

Gads! If you had given a clearer explanation in the first place you might have rec'd some helpful replies. I had to read your OP more than a few times but I still didn't get any of the info you supplied in your later post, #22. Might have been better to start at the beginning rather than jumping into A's and B's and hotel rooms and they were trying to figure out if she got raped. Lots of sensational details, but the anchoring information, not so much.

It's a sad situation, it's not new as it's been happening a long time, particularly within a certain population and age range. Much like the 'traditional' Spring Break, as popularized on certain TV shows (COPS, and the ilk). Doesn't seem like there's much of anything to be done to change it. Reporting it up the chain of command as you did, is the right thing to do. If you try to insert yourself any other way,anywhere in this whole situation, you could end up unexpectedly being legally liable in some weird way. You surely will earn ire and irritation from those who prefer to turn a blind eye. (For instance, the parents who sign the kids out to 'nowhere').

If you glance left and right, you might recognize the rock, and the hard place.

Sorry.

Specializes in critical care.

Alright, I think I understand this story a bit better.

The kids are "signed away" to the boarding school, and on weekends, large groups of them will hop trains to go party. Often, these trips don't end well.

OP, defender of teen girl innocence, calls one girl parent and gets reamed out for butting in. Decides to not call the other girl's parents.

OP has self-appointed himself as chaperone of these events. After all, serve the greater good. This time, a young woman thinks maybe she was raped. And because OP intentionally backed down on his thought to contact her parents, he's feeling guilty because he's feeling his lack of action has contributed to this situation.

OP, I am still trying to decide if you are a troll. You've posted on and responded to enough posts that I'm leaning toward no. I do agree that your personal culture is quite different from the collective American culture. Situations you have described yourself being part of would be highly inappropriate on this side of the pond. The thing that is annoying to me (and probably the rest of the general readership) is that you allude to the fact that you KNOW these situations would be considered inappropriate and you are throwing them "out there" intentionally inspiring debate. I actually did enjoy the Media debate because I'm an unofficial student of human nature and morality.

But you can't fairly come back claiming offense at the offended. You know you are sharing controversial topics. You say so yourself. Enjoy the organic evolution of your threads, and if you aren't in the mood for criticism, sit back and learn for awhile, instead of coming out swinging at your perceived cultural differences.

Specializes in critical care.
Did I do wrong in phoning the parents of Girl A even though I meant well? I brought in my values, the way my parents would behave. In this situation I'm a nurse and a parent to the students, which makes it more complicated.

You are not a parent to the students. Not in reality, not in surrogate. Your morals and upbringing are irrelevant here.

Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.

OP, I can't decide whether you are actually leading a life filled with drama & quandaries that are somehow always related to sex, or whether you are simply very, very good at spinning stories. After all, you keep drawing all theses responses, so you must be pretty good, right?

smh

Did I do wrong in phoning the parents of Girl A even though I meant well? I brought in my values, the way my parents would behave. In this situation I'm a nurse and a parent to the students, which makes it more complicated.

Honestly, what I'd likely have done if I had the information that you had available to you regarding the previous trips I would have contacted (or more likely discussed a joint plan of action together with the school principal and acted together) the parents of all the minors (male and female) and informed them that these trips had previously resulted in intoxications so serious that they warranted an ICU stay (as well as head injuries and whatnot).

I think by singling out the parents of the girls you're indeed injecting your own moral values into it and forget that the boys can be victims as well. As I'm sure that you're aware, if it's sex crimes that you're concerned about, young men can be victims too. And there's always the increased risk of physical assaults/violence due to consumption of alcohol and illegal drugs.

Did you single out the parents of the girls purely out of concern for their safety or are you also of the general opinion that girls shouldn't go on trips with boys?

You didn't mention in your OP that you weren't accompanying the teenagers on the trip. I'm confused why the thread title includes the term "in loco parentis" if you didn't go with them. If the parents had already signed consent for the teens to go on the trips and off they went, it seems like it's out of your control at that time and I fail to see what legal responsibilities you could actually assume (in the parent's place).

I get frustrated at first because people don't see the dilemma I'm trying to show, then realise I should have added more detail to the scenario, so it is my own fault.

In this case, I don't see it so much about 'sex' as someone said, but about brining your values/beliefs into your practice, and how they influence (or not) your actions.

Yes, i did feel guilty when the girls were crying in my office. I kept thinking how my dad would never had let my big sister go on a trip with a group of boys at that age, especially for a weekend trip. And yes, generally it's always the girls I see suffer, or end up the victim, and I do worry, because my oldest child is near their age, and it's frightening. I realise I sometimes do things meaning the best, but then I don't know.

Specializes in Oncology.

I went to good ol' American co-ed public high school and none of our school trips ever ended with anyone being bailed out of ICU by the school nurse.

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