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Loco-Parentis

Posted

Curious what you think of this scenario.

Boarding - two 16yr old girls going to Paris in a party via train with 18 boys. Usual result is 16 disappointed boys, and two distraught girls.

Girl A is going out with Boy A who is celebrating his 18th. Girl B is best friend of Girl A, and this will be her first trip away.

My role - nurse, but also parent in 'loco-parentis'

I know students very well. I know the hurt that often happens on trip. I know parents usually have no idea what goes on during such trips. These trips happen every year, and I'm left to pick up the pieces, whether it be intoxicated/drugged kid in ICU, head injury, or some other nasty surprise.

I call parents of girl A to make sure they are aware daughter is with 18 boys. Rationale, I'm a parent and I know my father would never have let my sister go on such a trip. Also figuring out my role as i'm considered a nurse and a parent.

What do I do, - I call father of girl A who gets angry, tells me off, says he trusts his daughter. Due to the angry reaction, I don't call the parents of Girl B

Result - girl B and girl A are in my office on monday morning, trying to figure out if girl B has been raped.

Boyfriend of girl A had a best friend who booked a room in hotel forhimself as well as girl B, and girl B felt she had to share a room/bed with him because she had left the booking up to the boys, and along with alcohol, eventually consented, but now not so sure.

It's not always easy figuring out what the best thing too do.

roser13, ASN, RN

Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC. Has 17 years experience.

Never mind. I just realized who you are. I'm kinda surprised you still want our opinions.

Hmmm .....yeah OK....whatever...

macawake, MSN

Has 13 years experience.

I know the hurt that often happens on trip. I know parents usually have no idea what goes on during such trips. These trips happen every year, and I'm left to pick up the pieces, whether it be intoxicated/drugged kid in ICU, head injury, or some other nasty surprise.

In all honesty I think that the above is what causes me concern, rather than this:

two 16yr old girls going to Paris in a party via train with 18 boys.

Why are these trips allowed to take place year after year if the usual outcome is ICU stays etc.? I don't care and don't find it relevant what the girl-to-boy ratio is, these trips don't sound safe.

Are these trips organized by the school? Are you there in the capacity of a school nurse? Are you the only adult person who accompanies the teenagers on the trip?

Result - girl B and girl A are in my office on monday morning, trying to figure out if girl B has been raped.

As former law enforcement I think that's a question for the police.

I'm curious, were the two boys and the two girls staying in a different hotel than the one you were staying in? If so, why was it allowed? By you and by the hotel? Aren't the boys the same age as the girls, about sixteen? I'd assume so, since I think this is a class trip of some sort and they ought to be close in age.

Why is there once again a sexual theme in a thread you've started?

Sorry about the zillion questions, but old habits die hard ;)

annie.rn

Has 21 years experience.

Do a rape kit on girl B and never supervise such a trip again. It could have been even worse.

LoveMyBugs, BSN, CNA, RN

Specializes in Pediatrics.

None of this makes any sense!

Want to say you are a troll....in fact really hoping you are a troll.

Oh well I will feed you

Both girls were raped.

Both girls were underage all boys were over the age of 18

Now what is your role in all of this?

Nurse or parent

Either way not your job to judge if the girl was raped....does she want a kit done incase she wants to press charges later? An evidence collection and hold?

Were drugs involved?

How does weekend trips result in ICU admissions?

Again what was your role and what advice are you actually seeking here?

totally out of our control. Parents sign their children away for the weekend.

Age of consent in France is 15. Also, once the girls presented, this is out of my hands. The nurse manager, counselor and doctor all got involved.

These aren't school trips. The parents sign their children away for the weekend, often claiming they are going to be there, and they never are. But when no parents are there, and something bad happens, the kids tell the hospital to call the school.

JustBeachyNurse, RN

Specializes in Complex pediatrics turned LTC/subacute geriatrics. Has 11 years experience.

It's a legal not a nursing issue. You need to review your country's nursing practice obligations as clearly they differ from the U.S. & Canada

that's exactly right, so I hand it to my manager, who hands it to the doctor, the counselor is involved, but as they are both of legally consenting age, it's not always straight forward.

I confess, I don't know what is always the best way to proceed, hence I contact my manager and doctor, who take over.

What amazes me, is I share some real life experiences, some of the really difficult ones, and that's your response.

If you actually and truly went on this trip then I'd rename this post loco nurse. Don't you think you yourself could get into legal problems if you were suppose to keep 20 teens in check and not let anything bad happen to them.

macawake, MSN

Has 13 years experience.

Age of consent in France is 15.

It's the same in my country. But was isn't legal is for a eighteen-year-old to give alcohol to a sixteen-year-old. Where did the girls get the alcohol from? By the way, did your scenario take place in France?

totally out of our control. Parents sign their children away for the weekend.

To whom do the parents "sign away" their children to? Random adults? Is you job as a school nurse pertinent to all this? Who/what exactly organizes these trips? How do the teenages know each other? Why is there is a an age disparity between the boys and the girls?

girl B felt she had to share a room/bed with him because she had left the booking up to the boys, and along with alcohol, eventually consented, but now not so sure.

This scenario is a legal nightmare (in any country) and in my opinion definitely not for a nurse to try to figure out.

Usual result is 16 disappointed boys, and two distraught girls

To me there's something stale about the the notion that teenage boys and men are all sexual predators. Your use of the word disappointed in the phrase sixteen disappointed boys could be explained by the high hormone-levels in teenage boys but when you describe the two girls as "distraught" it paints a different picture, doesn't it? And you say that this is the same pattern that's seen every trip ("usual result").

I don't know why the trips you mention always end up the same way, but it is possible to have teenagers of both sexes go on a trip together without the end result being "distraught" girls.

As I said earlier, I don't find the male-to-female ratio relevant in itself,but I am curious why the percentages are so skewed in one direction. Again, where do these kids come from? How do they know each other?

Edited by macawake

If you actually and truly went on this trip then I'd rename this post loco nurse. Don't you think you yourself could get into legal problems if you were suppose to keep 20 teens in check and not let anything bad happen to them.

If you read my comments, this is not a school sanctioned. Parents sign their children away, but are never there.

Many of these kids have been seen more of the world by the time they're 15 than most do in their lifetime. If you've got money, you can get a hotel, go to a nightclub at any age over here. It's not unusual for kids to pay $5000 for a table, which ensures entry if they look to young.

They'll happily spend $1000/bottle on crystal champagne, and at the top end, can easily have a bar tab of $30,000 if they're buying for their friends.

There's another world out there, outside of most people's experience, and I'm the regular guy trying to keep them out of trouble, or patching them up when they break.

Again, the negative comments here are saddening. Where is the understanding? Where is the compassion? Perhaps if you've only worked in one country, or one hospital, this makes sense, and i can understand that.

loriangel14, RN

Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

If these aren't school trips then why are you involved?

'As I said earlier, I don't find the male-to-female ratio relevant in itself,but I am curious why the percentages are so skewed in one direction. Again, where do these kids come from? How do they know each other?'

To the woman who said this - are you serious? Let me guess, you're fine with your 16yr old daughter go away with a big group of boys to party. Where has the common sense gone? What has happened to society that any parent thinks this is ok?