Loco-Parentis

mvm2 · Jun 20, 2015

If you actually and truly went on this trip then I'd rename this post loco nurse. Don't you think you yourself could get into legal problems if you were suppose to keep 20 teens in check and not let anything bad happen to them.

macawake, MSN · Jun 20, 2015

Age of consent in France is 15.

It's the same in my country. But was isn't legal is for a eighteen-year-old to give alcohol to a sixteen-year-old. Where did the girls get the alcohol from? By the way, did your scenario take place in France?

totally out of our control. Parents sign their children away for the weekend.

To whom do the parents "sign away" their children to? Random adults? Is you job as a school nurse pertinent to all this? Who/what exactly organizes these trips? How do the teenages know each other? Why is there is a an age disparity between the boys and the girls?

girl B felt she had to share a room/bed with him because she had left the booking up to the boys, and along with alcohol, eventually consented, but now not so sure.

This scenario is a legal nightmare (in any country) and in my opinion definitely not for a nurse to try to figure out.

Usual result is 16 disappointed boys, and two distraught girls

To me there's something stale about the the notion that teenage boys and men are all sexual predators. Your use of the word disappointed in the phrase sixteen disappointed boys could be explained by the high hormone-levels in teenage boys but when you describe the two girls as "distraught" it paints a different picture, doesn't it? And you say that this is the same pattern that's seen every trip ("usual result").

I don't know why the trips you mention always end up the same way, but it is possible to have teenagers of both sexes go on a trip together without the end result being "distraught" girls.

As I said earlier, I don't find the male-to-female ratio relevant in itself,but I am curious why the percentages are so skewed in one direction. Again, where do these kids come from? How do they know each other?

nursingaround1 · Jun 20, 2015

If you actually and truly went on this trip then I'd rename this post loco nurse. Don't you think you yourself could get into legal problems if you were suppose to keep 20 teens in check and not let anything bad happen to them.

If you read my comments, this is not a school sanctioned. Parents sign their children away, but are never there.

nursingaround1 · Jun 20, 2015

Many of these kids have been seen more of the world by the time they're 15 than most do in their lifetime. If you've got money, you can get a hotel, go to a nightclub at any age over here. It's not unusual for kids to pay $5000 for a table, which ensures entry if they look to young.

They'll happily spend $1000/bottle on crystal champagne, and at the top end, can easily have a bar tab of $30,000 if they're buying for their friends.

There's another world out there, outside of most people's experience, and I'm the regular guy trying to keep them out of trouble, or patching them up when they break.

Again, the negative comments here are saddening. Where is the understanding? Where is the compassion? Perhaps if you've only worked in one country, or one hospital, this makes sense, and i can understand that.

loriangel14, RN · Jun 20, 2015

If these aren't school trips then why are you involved?

nursingaround1 · Jun 20, 2015

'As I said earlier, I don't find the male-to-female ratio relevant in itself,but I am curious why the percentages are so skewed in one direction. Again, where do these kids come from? How do they know each other?'

To the woman who said this - are you serious? Let me guess, you're fine with your 16yr old daughter go away with a big group of boys to party. Where has the common sense gone? What has happened to society that any parent thinks this is ok?

nursingaround1 · Jun 20, 2015

it's a boarding school. The parents sign them off for the weekend, out of our control, then I see them on monday, and pick up the pieces.

mvm2 · Jun 20, 2015

Again there is no why on this earth that I would take on a job of trying to keep 20 teenagers from getting into trouble.

I'm not sure what you want us to be compassionate about. That 20 teenagers made bad choices and you as their chaperone apparently did not do a good job at keeping them out of trouble. Everyone involved made terrible choices.. parents teens and you

dishes, BSN, RN · Jun 20, 2015

@nursingaround, I do not understand what your role is, is it to ensure adolescents receive sexual health education?

macawake, MSN · Jun 20, 2015

Again, the negative comments here are saddening. Where is the understanding? Where is the compassion?

I can only speak for myself. What you're seeing is not a lack of compassion. I'm not even sure where that came from? I'm wondering about the nature of your posts, that's what's making me ask many questions. What kind of response are you hoping for exactly? I'm genuinely curious.

There's another world out there, outside of most people's experience

Little over a decade in law enforcement as well as other life experiences has made me aware of that.

Perhaps if you've only worked in one country, or one hospital, this makes sense, and i can understand that.

I don't know if I'm misinterpreting your statement, but I find it rather condescending.

I've lived in more than a dozen different countries in various parts of the world. Worked in about half of them and I speak six different languages. But even if I'd only ever lived in one country and only worked in one hospital, I'd still have a right to an opinion and it would be every bit as valid as yours or anyone elses.

As to your scenario, you are adding new information that wasn't included in your OP. There are many questions that I've asked that you've chosen not to answer. That's fine, you don't have to. It does however make it harder to answer you in a meaningful way, if you are indeed looking for advice?

it's a boarding school. The parents sign them off for the weekend, out of our control, then I see them on monday, and pick up the pieces.

So it's a boarding school with mostly male students? And you're present during the trips in the capacity of school nurse? To who do the parents sign away their children? I've already asked this. You mention that your role was "in loco parentis".

To the woman who said this - are you serious? Let me guess, you're fine with your 16yr old daughter go away with a big group of boys to party. Where has the common sense gone? What has happened to society that any parent thinks this is ok?

That woman would be me :) Oh, and common sense. I have an abundance of it.

I went on trips with boys as a teenager, never had a problem. As an adult I've spent time as a lone female with a large group of men in remote locations (work-related) and didn't have a problem with that either.

Because of my previous career I'm all too aware that crimes committed against persons can be quite ugly but I feel like we view male-female dynamics and sexuality differently. You've mentioned sixteen-year-old girls in another one of your threads and you always seem to cast them in the victim role, at least that's how I perceive it.

nursingaround1 · Jun 20, 2015

@nursingaround, I do not understand what your role is, is it to ensure adolescents to receive sexual health education?

When you're in a boarding school, you're so much more. When parents claim their child is going to be with them, but are lying, and the children get into trouble, often medical trouble with alcohol/accidents, they call the school, or at least the hospital find their student ID, because they can't find a parent, and call the school, and because it's a medical issue, the school turns to me.

mvm2 · Jun 20, 2015

OK you need to be more clear in your post. You made it sound that you went on the trip WITH them. Not that you are just a school nurse that when the kids came back you had to deal with the aftermath.