Literature needed to put Nursing School into prespective

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Hello all! First post! I am starting NS in the Fall of this year. I'm pretty excited and nervous at the same time.

My fiance and I have a pretty good relationship except when it comes to chores. I was unable to find a job this summer (even retail didn't want me) so I am currently acting as a temporary house wife [keeping the place clean, meals made, errands ran] until NS starts. He works 40+ hours a week at a stressful job so we both agree that this is a good trade off for now. His income is more than enough to sustain us and we have no kids.

I know that he does kind of resent me a bit. He doesn't believe that I even tried to look for a job and that I do "nothing" most of the day which isn't true. Like I said, we have a good relationship but he does get cranky about that every once in a while. However, I know it's because he stressed out at work and I'm not so stressed at the moment since it's summer break. It's not fair to him.

Main point of the post:

I was wondering if there is any literature (books, articles, etc...) that are meant for the spouses of nursing students? Something to put it in perspective for him? He's never seen anyone personally experience nursing school. He seems to think that it will be a walk in the park for me. He also thinks that he won't have to help out because I should be able to do everything while in school. Yet he can work his 8 hour day, come home and start playing video games. :confused: I'm one of those people that will need to study A LOT. I'm just getting frustrated trying to explain to him how busy I'll be. I guess it's hard for him to see because I'm taking the advice of relaxing the summer before NS. [i see that advice over and over again on these boards!]

Before anyone gets on my case about how easy I'll have it since I won't have to work (though I would be if my fiance had his way!), I have an OCD issue when it comes to keeping my apartment very clean and he has trouble even throwing out his paper plates when he's done eating. I essentially follow him around with a dust pan and broom. A clean apartment = a happy and peaceful me.

Thanks in advance for any literature recommendations. :o

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I read Mosby's Tour Guide to Nursing School. It's not for spouses, but it outlines what to expect, tips/tricks, and everything else you need to know before you start. It's thin and a quick read, so maybe he would read it. Regardless if he reads it or not, I think you should...well all soon-to-be nursing students should. I found it super helpful.

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Specializes in nursing home.

My experience before Nursing School was food service, motorcycle shops, military (fire dept dispatcher), and for most of my years a vet tech. My mom was a nurse (she is now my nurse guardian angel), so I resisted the Nursing profession. I started before she passed, but she was soooo happy I started. The man in your life, sounds like my hubby...hates his job, comes home, flops out and plays video games and I even would have to beg for the laptop to get my hybrid and online classes done. Unreal. I just took boards yesterday, so hopefully I will be working real soon. I worked part-time (almost 30 hours in 3 days) as a convenience store clerk. I recommend working very light part-time or not at all. It was a struggle to study and get homework done. You don't have kids...it's a good thing for you for studying right now, but as for me, when I was in tears, picturing my daughter's face helped me pull through! As soon as you crack open a book, your kid's will start in on you..."I'm hungry" (and they just ate!), etc.

Stick with it no matter how difficult things seem or how much of a pain your other half becomes. Ask him what he would like to go to school for, and remind him that he can trade off and go to school while you work...that's how I did it. When we move to Texas, he's going to go back to college.

I love my Saunders Student Nurse Planner (it's ragged out now!) and also I love my Survival Guide to A&P. I love small books I can tote anywhere....your school textbooks will fill up a bookshelf, trust me! Good luck, and try what I suggested. A person who doesn't want you to better yourself has an issue with themselves.:twocents:

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

Does your school have any kind of an open house for newly accepted students into the nursing program? That might help. I do not know of any literature like this, though you certainly could print things out from this website to show him. You could also make an appointment with the advisor for your nursing program or the director of it and sit down together and let that individual explain how all encompassing this is. Either way, you need to start speaking up about how consuming it will be to your time!

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I'm in the same boat, and I've also been in your fiance's shoes as well. I don't know of any literature to point out to you, but I did want to share a bit of my experience. A few years ago my husband and I moved home from across the country, and as we settled in, he had a hard time finding a job. I don't think I was resentful, but I was frustrated. It took him a while to get motivated to really hit the ground running to find a job. It was mainly just a difference in our personality types: he, more laid back, took it easy whereas if I were in the same boat I'd be spending hours upon hours searching for and applying for jobs. He eventually found one (thank god), and he will be supporting me through nursing school. He doesn't get paid a whole heck of a lot so it will be tough times financially, but I'm hoping I can find a part-time job to pitch in.

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I don't have any advice but I just wanted to comiserate with you. I'm in a similar position. I have a job as a CNA but it's par diem and I pick up what hours I can; sometimes that adds up to full time but sometime it doesn't. I find myself only working 3-4 days per week some weeks this summer. Usually 3-11:30 PM.

Boyfriend on the other works full time, has to get up at 6:30 AM. I wake up around 8-9, do all of the cleaning, handle the bills, essentially run the household. On top of a fitness regime. Then I go to work & get home at around midnight.

Boyfriend gets home around 4 PM & proceeds to play video games all night. Says he pays the bills and works hard and is too tired to help out or even spend time with me. I will be working & going to school in about a month. I'm tired too.

We really need to get our men/women/partners into shape. Nursing school is going to kick out butts. Women in particular get a lot more added stress with housework, cooking, childcare, etc. It really isn't fair and is a product of our patriarchial society. Sad part is even when I'm in school and I don't have time to do the dishes, they will build up and become a disgusting mess & boyfriend doesn't even care, his standards of cleanliness are far below mine & is satisfied to live in filth. UGH. Rise up women!!!

/end rant

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I read Mosby's Tour Guide to Nursing School. It's not for spouses, but it outlines what to expect, tips/tricks, and everything else you need to know before you start. It's thin and a quick read, so maybe he would read it. Regardless if he reads it or not, I think you should...well all soon-to-be nursing students should. I found it super helpful.

I'll look for it. Thanks! :)

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My experience before Nursing School was food service, motorcycle shops, military (fire dept dispatcher), and for most of my years a vet tech. My mom was a nurse (she is now my nurse guardian angel), so I resisted the Nursing profession. I started before she passed, but she was soooo happy I started. The man in your life, sounds like my hubby...hates his job, comes home, flops out and plays video games and I even would have to beg for the laptop to get my hybrid and online classes done. Unreal. I just took boards yesterday, so hopefully I will be working real soon. I worked part-time (almost 30 hours in 3 days) as a convenience store clerk. I recommend working very light part-time or not at all. It was a struggle to study and get homework done. You don't have kids...it's a good thing for you for studying right now, but as for me, when I was in tears, picturing my daughter's face helped me pull through! As soon as you crack open a book, your kid's will start in on you..."I'm hungry" (and they just ate!), etc.

Stick with it no matter how difficult things seem or how much of a pain your other half becomes. Ask him what he would like to go to school for, and remind him that he can trade off and go to school while you work...that's how I did it. When we move to Texas, he's going to go back to college.

I love my Saunders Student Nurse Planner (it's ragged out now!) and also I love my Survival Guide to A&P. I love small books I can tote anywhere....your school textbooks will fill up a bookshelf, trust me! Good luck, and try what I suggested. A person who doesn't want you to better yourself has an issue with themselves.:twocents:

Oh, he wants me to better myself. There is no question of that. He just doesn't believe that nursing school is as time consuming as everyone else says it is. :eek: He wants to go back for his Master's when I'm done with NS. He just finished with his Bachelor's. I think it is a issue of him being a little bored since this is the first time in years that he hasn't had classes and work to worry about. Our gaming budget just went up. LOL

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Either way, you need to start speaking up about how consuming it will be to your time!

I have. I think I will just have to prove it to him. Classes start on August 30th. He'll learn real quick what I will and will not put up with. :cool:

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I'm in the same boat, and I've also been in your fiance's shoes as well. I don't know of any literature to point out to you, but I did want to share a bit of my experience. A few years ago my husband and I moved home from across the country, and as we settled in, he had a hard time finding a job. I don't think I was resentful, but I was frustrated. It took him a while to get motivated to really hit the ground running to find a job. It was mainly just a difference in our personality types: he, more laid back, took it easy whereas if I were in the same boat I'd be spending hours upon hours searching for and applying for jobs. He eventually found one (thank god), and he will be supporting me through nursing school. He doesn't get paid a whole heck of a lot so it will be tough times financially, but I'm hoping I can find a part-time job to pitch in.

I had to take a year off from work due to illness. I am now 100% better but couldn't find a job for the summer. I feel so bad about it. It's not like I WANT to be dependent on him for our income.

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I don't have any advice but I just wanted to comiserate with you. I'm in a similar position. I have a job as a CNA but it's par diem and I pick up what hours I can; sometimes that adds up to full time but sometime it doesn't. I find myself only working 3-4 days per week some weeks this summer. Usually 3-11:30 PM.

Boyfriend on the other works full time, has to get up at 6:30 AM. I wake up around 8-9, do all of the cleaning, handle the bills, essentially run the household. On top of a fitness regime. Then I go to work & get home at around midnight.

Boyfriend gets home around 4 PM & proceeds to play video games all night. Says he pays the bills and works hard and is too tired to help out or even spend time with me. I will be working & going to school in about a month. I'm tired too.

We really need to get our men/women/partners into shape. Nursing school is going to kick out butts. Women in particular get a lot more added stress with housework, cooking, childcare, etc. It really isn't fair and is a product of our patriarchial society. Sad part is even when I'm in school and I don't have time to do the dishes, they will build up and become a disgusting mess & boyfriend doesn't even care, his standards of cleanliness are far below mine & is satisfied to live in filth. UGH. Rise up women!!!

/end rant

I really LOVE this comment. You hit every nail on the head perfectly. (Except I'm a gamer too and do waste a couple hours here and there playing as well :smokin:.)

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I feel very lucky to have a boyfriend who not only understands the stress of nursing school (his uncle just graduated) but is a cleaner clean-freak than I am. He plays video games and all of that, but the house has to be clean before he can settle down to do anything. Of top of that, he cooks if I don't. The only drawback is that he can't find a well-enough paying job to cover us both while I am in school (we both just graduated with bachelors degrees last year). I guess you can't have everything in life, right? :uhoh3:

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