Lies of the ER.....

Nurses Humor

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What are some of the funniest, scariest, or weird lies youve heard patients come in the ER with??? I was just wondering what type of crazy stories you guys and gals come across before you find out the TRUTH.... LOL THANKS :yeah:

Specializes in PICU, NICU, SICU, CCU, ER, RN Paralegal.

My favorite two ER patients were 1) the guy who came in with a Mrs. Butterworth's syrup bottle shoved up his butt. His partner had the bright idea to drill a hole in the bottom of the bottle to empty it so it would come out. All he managed to do was drill a hole in the guy's rectum. The bottle was removed with OB forceps, then on to surgery for the repair work, and 2) the woman who came in high as a kite with a nosebleed. I asked about drugs, which she, of course, denied but said she knew why her nose was bleeding. Silly me had to ask why and she said "My period came down a few days ago and now it's gone back up again".

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Originally Posted by suanna

BE careful what you wish for- either you are going to be a great nurse with an open mind and a compassionate soul or you are totaly nuts to want to deal with the squirl balls that plague our ERs.

My favorite story from ER- and one that is so common in our ER- is the poor guy who, while naked, "accidently" sat on his wifes' hairbrush, vibator, a lightbulb, various veggies..... and the next thing you know it was lost in his colon. I hate it when that happens!

hahahahhaha When I worked as a clerk at the hospital I was walking down the hall while they were taking this man down to endoscopy while his male friend was running alongside screaming "i'm sorry, I'm sorry" and then I got his x-ray and there was the infamous gigantic potatoe he "sat on."

Hmmmmm..........maybe he forgot to ask for "fries with that."

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My personal favorite ER/SICU story: Gentleman arrives complaining of abdominal/rectal pain, said he partied a little too much with his wife and her girlfriend and a ton of alcohol and drugs. X-rays revealed a small cup shaped object in his colon. The object turned out to be a tupperware cup with a lime slice inside of it! A previous post hit it right on the head...you can't make this stuff up.

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Specializes in Ortho/Peds/MedSURG/LTC.

we turned down a guy (a self cutter for meds) and he went outside and called the ER and pretended to be his mother scolding us for sending him out the door without any pain meds (the doc had given him 5 stitches) one of our nurses looked out into the parking lot and saw him on his cell phone as another nurse was taking the telephone call. She came over and grabbed the phone and told him to get off the phone and out of the parking lot.

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Specializes in Ortho/Peds/MedSURG/LTC.

we turned down his "I need something strong for the pain" - he was a regular at all the area hospitals around this area

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Specializes in volunteering!.

"hahahahhaha When I worked as a clerk at the hospital I was walking down the hall while they were taking this man down to endoscopy while his male friend was running alongside screaming "i'm sorry, I'm sorry" and then I got his x-ray and there was the infamous gigantic potatoe he "sat on.""

"Hmmmmm..........maybe he forgot to ask for "fries with that.""

Maybe he did ask for "fries with that," but he didn't say please.

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:yeah:When I was working as a registrar in the ER about a decade ago, a 17yo girl came in WITH HER MOM to get the hairspray cap removed from her you-know-where... the worst part is she had to tell her mom because she didn't have a drivers license yet!

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You have to be careful of those pesky potatoes, I am always finding them in my couch. :/

Those darn couch potatoes!

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Specializes in Ortho/Peds/MedSURG/LTC.

ohhh :) pototoe wrong way

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Omg lol hair spray!!!! omg lol

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Yeah, the anal stories could go on and on- but I got another one! Guy brings in his girl. Girl has light bulb end stuck in her butt. They had the "bright" idea to use something with a little more texture and her muscles clamped down and broke the glass. Needless to say, that was way too exciting for them. Sounds bad, but it was way very amusing for us because we hadn't seen that particular object before. All ended well for them BTW.

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"He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times."

Reminds me of the musical Chicago!:specs:

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