Lesbian L and D nurse

Jarnaes · Mar 16, 2009

I do not care what your sexual orientation is, just do you job and do it well.

We even have quite a few lesbian nurses on active duty in the Army. Unfortunately, they are forced to keep their lifestyle very quiet.

The ones I have worked with are great nurses and also exceptional military officers. I just hope that one day the administration will change the current policy and allow them to openly serve.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Mar 16, 2009

it's no one's business whether you're lesbian, bi-sexual, heterosexual or asexual.

tencat · Mar 16, 2009

That thar speeling is makin me curazy.....fonics wurked fur mee!

Sheesh, what's THAT got to do with the topic, anyway? And for the record I WAS an English teacher for 12 years.....

Back to the topic: I wouldn't care if you loved cockroaches. I just want you to be a competent nurse and a compassionate human being. I don't know why we in the US are all so hung up on sexual orientation.

obgoddess · Mar 21, 2009

I do not personally think its a prob. What I hate are when the husbands are in the room when I am checking their wives and some make crude sexual comments about it.

dnp2004 · Mar 21, 2009

Unfortunately, I hate to tell you, that clip from the EEOC covers GENDER ...not sexual orientation....they are very, very different things.
Discrimination against sexual orientation is not a Federally protected class..it is very, very important that folks who are gay or bisexual know this before discussing it at work.
Some states have statues protecting against discrimination based on sexual orientation...MOST don't.
In the states that don't, some companies have a policy against...most don't.
So, if you live in a state where it's not a protected class, if you disclose you are gay, an employer can legally terminate you, even tell you, it's why he's terminating you, and you would have no legal recourse.
No, I am not agreeing with this...I am not saying it's right...but it's a cold hard fact.

That is correct. Several years ago a nationwide restaurant chain fired employees if they found out they were gay. One lesbian manager was terminated because she was told "Cra**er Ba**el is a family restaurant" and they don't want her kind there. The State had no laws against discrimation based on sexual orientation so there was nothing she could do.

mom-of-3 · Mar 21, 2009

As a mom of 3, I would just like to give my opinion as a patient. I have always chosen to go to a female OBGYN. Even though there are great male OBGYN's, it is my persona feeling that a woman who has had children can offer much more insight due to having experienced the same thing. Now, as far as having a lesbian nurse, I personally as a patient would not be comfortable with that. And, as a patient...I feel that is my right to feel that way. I think that if a patient were to know a nurses sexual orientation and have a problem with it, they would be well within their rights to request a different RN. The last thing that a woman should have to be concerned with while bringing a child into this world is dealing with anything that would make them more uncomfortable while doing so. It is all about the Mom and Baby.

Now, in a work setting, I would absolutely not discriminate in any way.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Mar 21, 2009

as a mom of 3, i would just like to give my opinion as a patient. i have always chosen to go to a female obgyn. even though there are great male obgyn's, it is my persona feeling that a woman who has had children can offer much more insight due to having experienced the same thing. now, as far as having a lesbian nurse, i personally as a patient would not be comfortable with that. and, as a patient...i feel that is my right to feel that way. i think that if a patient were to know a nurses sexual orientation and have a problem with it, they would be well within their rights to request a different rn. the last thing that a woman should have to be concerned with while bringing a child into this world is dealing with anything that would make them more uncomfortable while doing so. it is all about the mom and baby.
now, in a work setting, i would absolutely not discriminate in any way.

while you're entitled to feel the way you feel, you're not entitled, as a patient to know the sexual orientation of your nurse.

dnp2004 · Mar 22, 2009

As a mom of 3, I would just like to give my opinion as a patient. I have always chosen to go to a female OBGYN. Even though there are great male OBGYN's, it is my persona feeling that a woman who has had children can offer much more insight due to having experienced the same thing. Now, as far as having a lesbian nurse, I personally as a patient would not be comfortable with that. And, as a patient...I feel that is my right to feel that way. I think that if a patient were to know a nurses sexual orientation and have a problem with it, they would be well within their rights to request a different RN. The last thing that a woman should have to be concerned with while bringing a child into this world is dealing with anything that would make them more uncomfortable while doing so. It is all about the Mom and Baby.
Now, in a work setting, I would absolutely not discriminate in any way.

It is probably a mute point because you and the hospital management would unlikely know if a particular health care professional was gay, lesbian, bisexual, monogamous, polygamous, etc. I am not sure what the outcome of any request would be that asked a hospital to provide you with an all 'heterosexual female staff'. As a matter of fact I think many people might flame you. Though that does bring up an interesting point mom-of-3.

I was thinking about what you were saying and the negative responses you might receive on this thread regarding your discomfort with a lesbian nurse. Here is what I was thinking. Many of those that say "a nurse is a nurse" have no problem with you requesting all female nurses. Yet they may flame you for wanting all heterosexual female nurses. Check out this short list I just wrote.

Gender of provider: All female staff requests usually granted. All male staff requests not necessarily available due to the lower percentage of male nurses and some hospital administrators discomfort with such a request.
Age of provider: Patient choice granted on a limited basis with gender is also involved. Many managers will not assign younger male providers to perform "intimate care" on a younger female patient unless an opposite sex chaperon is provided.
Race of provider: Low-to-Medium chance of patient choice request not being granted. Managers don't want to appear to encourage racism. Also the granting of such a request may demoralize employees. Federal and State laws may apply if employee complains that they were denied work or reassigned positions on the basis of race. If facility is unionized there could be other problems.
Physical attributes of provider: Extremely low chance of grant being requested. Weight, physical disabilities, bust size, eye color, hair color etc. are not considered things a patient should be allowed to choose. Also if a request is based on skin color, problems may overlap from racial and ethnic based laws, rules and regulation.
Nationality/Ethnicity of provider: See Race of Provider.
Religion of provider: See Race of Provider.
Sexual orientation of provider: Extremely low chance of request being granted. Sexual orientation is not as apparent as gender and race. Employees don't have to report it. In many States, managers may fear consequences similar to those found with race based selection. Employee labor union problems may develop.

The lesbian nurse that started this thread may in fact be protected in the State she is in. Combined with the fact that others most likely can't tell her orientation, I doubt she will have a problem. Out of the groups I listed, it would appear only you heterosexual male providers are in an "unprotected class" across the U.S. I would be interested in receiving feedback about this. Especially from men of all orientations.

mom-of-3 · Mar 22, 2009

Thanks for the response. As you point out, there would be a chance that no one would be aware of the orientation of a particular nurse. I definitely agree with that. However, there are individals who are more free with the way they present themselves. That was more what I was referring to.

And to put it another way...If a patient were uncomfortable with a male doctor (having his hands in areas that are only for their husband)...it should stand to reason that they would also be uncomfortable with a lesbian as well.

If a patient were to know that orientation, as I said before I believe that they would be well within their rights to request a differnt nurse. Just as a male would most likely be more comfortable receiving a prostate exam from another male. And therefore he should be allowed to request a male dr. for that procedure.

P.S. - I am not trying to promote discrimination, I am trying to promote patient rights...as I do feel that there are patients who would not have any problem with this at all.

lamazeteacher · Mar 22, 2009

At my hospital we have quite a few lesbian l and d nurses. I had no idea until someone made me aware of it. It makes no difference at all, except our educator has a bias against them-which is totally illegal. They are good nurses regardless of sexual orientation.

I don't think having bias is illegal, it's what your actions and words say about that, that could be.....

As professionals, we know that our personal lives should not intersect with our patients. Do heterosexual nurses talk about their own sexual relations? I hope not. :twocents:

lamazeteacher · Mar 22, 2009

Oh dear, mom-of-3, you just brought another issue into question.

In today's world, male patients are not necessarily more comfortable having rectal exams done by other males........

AudreyHurston · Mar 23, 2009

Thanks for the response. As you point out, there would be a chance that no one would be aware of the orientation of a particular nurse. I definitely agree with that. However, there are individals who are more free with the way they present themselves. That was more what I was referring to.
And to put it another way...If a patient were uncomfortable with a male doctor (having his hands in areas that are only for their husband)...it should stand to reason that they would also be uncomfortable with a lesbian as well.
If a patient were to know that orientation, as I said before I believe that they would be well within their rights to request a differnt nurse. Just as a male would most likely be more comfortable receiving a prostate exam from another male. And therefore he should be allowed to request a male dr. for that procedure.
P.S. - I am not trying to promote discrimination, I am trying to promote patient rights...as I do feel that there are patients who would not have any problem with this at all.

Mom of three I appreciate your response. It is exactly the type of response that I was thinking of when I started the question as it is the misperception that a woman who is attracted to women is equivalent to a man that I worried could jeopardize my job as L and D nurse. But I've concluded from this thread that my patients would not know my orientation and hopefully it wouldn't be a problem...I'll see.

Just for the record, in dealing with human beings in general, although I haven't done any sociological/psychological studies, I would say that 98% or more, of lesbians do not look at women constantly as sexual objects in the way that men are socialized to do so. Neither our sex drive nor our socialization make us the same as a man. This comment is just for educational purposes not a problem with your opinion as I fear your perspective is the norm and not the exception.